Okay..Now I that I got your attention...this is not a blog about my favorite pet names or a new line of pornographic pastries.
This is merely a quote from my adorable grandson. He was saying that he is about to enjoy a delicious chocolate muffin.
He has his own little language that only our family can decode. Well, most of our family and only some of the time.. We do have those.."what is he saying" moments or random text messages of "what does dee dee dah mean?" And we all know that "cock" means black or in food terms...chocolate. Now a friend of mine commented on how nice it is to greet your food before you eat it and I agree. (Hello AND Good bye New York Strip Steak and Lobster Tail). I sort of remember when I was younger taking a piece of warm bread and giving it a little kiss before eating it. That probably explains my love/hate relationship with carbs.
But I love the look on the face of the counter person when they ask "what kind do you want, honey" and he says "COCK". It's priceless. We are at the point where we are ..."duh, chocolate".
I am amazed at how much and how fast he is learning. I guess when you are a parent you are in the trenches and they learn - they grow and you are in the midst of it. But not when you are a grandparent....it is (like everything he does) truly amazing. I don't see my grandson for a day or two and he is speaking in full sentences. He is such a little character too...The other night he was staying over night and he clearly requested that I sing a Lady Gaga song for him so he can fall asleep. So I did...without the meat dress. He is growing up so fast and has very definite tastes. Music for instance...he is a big Green Day fan....but is not above the Best, Best, Best Peeeeeet song from Sesame Street.
And of course colors...that sweet little voice saying boo....geeeen...pah pur..weddooow and the ever popular Cock!
I guess I was always a fan of baby language and the way their baby minds work. Words like hoppadopper (helicopter) skilliers (my nephew's version of skewers) jump to mind.
They repeat or try to any way. My grandson is very good at the cadence of words and the melody of speech. He is pretty good at it.
Which also makes me, a gold medal, world class swearer,....kind of have to watch my filthy f****ing mouth. But this is nothing new. It goes back to his mom...my oldest. When she was a baby she spoke very early and come to think of it hasn't stopped since. She had a funny way of looking at things too.
I dressed her up for Halloween as Baby Miss Piggy when she was about 4 and she suggested that she carry Baby Kermit with her so people don't think she is just "another pig in a dress"...Classic!
A couple years before, we were driving down the street (driving is where I believe swearing was invented) and someone did something stupid and I said "watch it ass" and from the back car seat came "mommy, the word is asshole" Ahhh I stand corrected.
Now I really have tried to watch my big mouth in front of little ears and I always give up swearing for Lent. (which makes for a colorful Easter morning....find your f***ing baskets kids....not really). As my children grew up they knew what was appropriate language and when to use it. Like the word "sucks"...Sucks became almost acceptable our language. This all of a sudden happened in the years that my kids were growing up...it was in movies (like kid movies) and tv shows and books. Which, for lack of a better word, sucked because it was said all the time but not appropriate in my opinion for children to say. But my kids knew not to use it in any arena that would ultimately get them in trouble or more importantly make me look bad.
But there was this one time.....(surprised?) my youngest at about age 4 came home from playing at a friend's house. It was earlier than I expected but she assured me that her friend 's family were having an early dinner...hmmmm? Right on the heels of my little darling was the mom of the supposed early diners....She was kind of laughing and told me that she had to send her home because she was jumping on the bed (ok....not the best behavior -but being sent home seemed a bit little harsh) and oh yeah ,she was singing a little song that she obviously wrote called fuck shit....cuuuute. I apologized and since it was during Lent I assured her she didn't hear it from me ...recently. In the mean time my other two children scattered like rats on the Titanic. Embarrassed a little...Amused... a lot.
And I can't leave my son out of this ...he didn't curse ( or never got caught and I know he was behind that fuckshit song) but the innocent minds at work always made for great memories.
Our family went to African Lion Safari which is that thing where you drive your car through a zoo with out cages and monkeys tear of your car antennae and big cats lay around like they would in the jungle even though we are an hour out of Toronto, Canada....you get the picture. Well here we are driving around and in our window we see a gi-freaking-normous giraffe head...Holy shit! That's one big ass giraffe head is what I thought but did not say ( I was learning)...well my son looks at those huge giraffe eyes and says "it's a girl giraffe" because it had eye lashes....just as the words left his precious mouth...the giraffe raised its head and walk along side our car and there in our window we see gi-freaking-normous giraffe .......junk.... NOT a girl....if you get my drift or I could use my grandson's word for chocolate ...just sayin
