Yeah, I'm not really sure what that phrase means, but I love it and it does describe the weather the past week or so. Hot as Balls...I have a good idea what it means and I really don't want to think about it - I just like saying it!
Now I love this weather ...this is the weather I think about when I am scraping the ice off my car windows, knee deep in snow. This is the weather I think about when my car is in the furthest parking space from the store in mid December. This is the weather I think about when my back wheels are making that zzzz zzzz zzzz sound when I'm stuck in the snow bank at the end of the drive way. Got it? I love this weather...it's "hide the sharp knives" hot and I love watching the tempers flair!
Now I understand....especially when the humidity is 1000%, we all get a little nastier. But since I've kind of jumped feet first into my 50's, I like to think of it as leveling the playing field. I have this personal little heat wave all year round...thanks a lot menopause!
I do have to feel for the kids in our theater group. I think I have mentioned that we are attempting to perform
Jospeh and the blah blah bla ..Dreamcoat ( which, by the way, may be just Joseph! if we don't locate the technicolor son of a gun). Anyway, in this hot little theater we have these 11 sweaty brothers dancing and singing sometime with their 11 sweaty "wives". We haven't even put up any real numbers yet....when we do ....there will be about 45 of them, plus about 20 musicians, a choreographer, musical & assistant directors and pre-menopausal me! Oh and don't forget all the egos! Honestly, I love these kids. They are troopers. They give it their all every rehearsal ( can you tell it's early on in the process....I have scheduled a "melt down" no pun intended in about 2 weeks).
But honestly I do love this season...it's summer and it's summer musical season. ....
I used to wait all year for this time. You get to see all the people you really haven't seen for like 10 months and then you are practically joined at the hip with them for the next 2!! I still feel this way...someone recently commented that it seems to be "taking over my life" and I answered that it absolutely has. The obsession is the best part about it...eat sleep musical....We couldn't wait til rehearsal and when we cancelled a rehearsal ,I overheard one of my little actors say "awww I hate when I can't come here". That makes it all worth it -a zillion degrees and all.
But the heat paired with a bunch of these theater folk,dare I say, divas (and I mean that in a good way) that makes for some tense times. Everyone has great ideas of how certain things should look and sound. And they are all GREAT ideas and sometimes the Ado Annie in me comes out.and "I caint say no"....It's because there is passion behind these ideas, it's not that they just want it their way....it's the passion, the
heat that drives these people to show up every night so we can "put on a show". It's hard to say no to that passion! But I get paid the big bucks to make sure we have 200+ sweaty people for 4 shows walking out of that hot little theater thoroughly entertained ...at least $9 worth of entertained!
There is something about this season ...the sultriness ...the smoldering heat that makes people go to extremes...it's the extreme that I like I think...(so I cant say no and I like to go to extremes to those keeping score out there)
We all know that it is the the heat makes people...actors and other animals misbehave a bit. My favorite is when someone says something so mean and so rude and then comes back with..."sorry I'm just hot" ....like no one else is.
Now the only people I will let slide on that are the cooks that I work with at the restaurant. Man, its like working on the sun back there. So you have to be nice to the cooks....and while you're at it be nice to your servers- we work back there too and ...if you haven't learned that lesson yet -don't mess with the people that touch your food. So thank you Mr. I am more important than anyone else,
I will bring your 50 chicken wings out when they are ready...so you don't have to remind me that you ordered them/ask me where they are...I have been doing this for a long time, dude, I know how it works. You order...Cooks cook...I bring out...pretty simple asshole...sorry I'm just hot...
Thank God for air conditioning ....when it works...especially in your car. So Ms. I had to cut you off just to go 20 miles under the speed limit, my horn works way better than the air conditioner does....Is it getting hotter in here...
Yeah it is... hot as balls...Balls- while we are on the subject -is one of my favorite "swears" It's kind of kid friendly because they don't get it yet and it way less offensive than motherfucker. I always imagine that being my answer when James Lipton asks me what my favorite swear word is on Inside the Actor's Studio-
"It's motherfucker, James" .....yeah so ...I never grew up...remember ...I used to be one of those sweaty actors on stage ...now I'm the sweaty, pre-menopausal director ( which still gets looks and comments believe it or not ...woman director???) I think the reason I like the phrase hot as balls so much is that it reminds me of the origin of why I say "BALLS" when I get mad. I believe the quote is... "Balls, said the Queen, if I had them, I'd be King"...just sayin'
