I borrowed this title from Janis Joplin but I don't think we have the same take on it. It's a great song to belt in your car but I'm just really in need of the song's title
Recently, they closed my school. As I may have mentioned in past blogs, they closed the school I worked at for almost 20 years. It's the school my kids went to and I even went there for a few grades when we first moved to this area. Now from this blog title, one can assume I mean to convey a couple things, like how they have taken little pieces of the heart out of education. That would be true. They have replaced the pieces with data and dollars that are going to the wrong places. When I refer to they, you know I mean the Department of Education who once sent us a letter with the wrong spelling of principal and have misspelled words on tests etc. One can also assume that there are little pieces of broken hearts of the kids, parents, teachers and staff as we see the end of an era of the little neighborhood school. This is also true. That is not exactly where I want to go with this ....not this time.
I think we can look at this another way. Maybe it's not so bad to lose a little piece of your heart here and there. What? Why would you think that? Is she on as many drugs as Ms. Joplin? Hear me out
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Earlier this month, I ran away from home, played hooky from school and went to NYC. I went with a friend who also needed to be a runaway. We hadn't been on one of these little trips in over 30 years. Back then the reason was, we were done with exams, that was a brutal semester. our families were driving us crazy. Well that last part may still be true for me. In my case ( I can't speak for my travel companion) I was temporarily escaping my aging parents and their compulsion to go to the grocery store EVERYDAY. Now I took their car away since my dad's surgery so I kind of was at their mercy. But one desperate trip was for two bananas and emergency Dixie cups and the next day was one can of peaches and dryer sheets.....what is going on in that house??? Do you kind of see my need to flee?
Off we went on our family free and I might add guilt free getaway. I guess you get less guilty as you get older. We had no plans,no idea where we were going and no time restraints. We only needed to check into our hotel at some point. Speaking of our hotel, we stayed in a place called the Pod on 39th Street, and yes, we referred to ourselves as "pod people". If you get the chance, check out this cool little place. It was new and hip....way hipper than us. The rooms are small...think the Asian businessmen in the drawers on Seinfeld small. We had bunk beds small. It was awesome. I didn't go to away for college but I assume it was dorm room small, which seemed perfect since we hadn't been on an adventure since our college days. Although climbing to the top bunk at my age and in a semi Janis Joplin state was quite a sight, I'm sure. Take another little piece of my dignity baby.... But it was a fabulous place, from the awesome roof top bar to the cute little subway tiled bathroom...the "pee pod" if you will.
Anyway we got to the city and met up with friends that we hadn't seen in an embarrassing number of years. It is an amazing phenomenon, I know you have all experienced it. That you can up where you left off with certain people, in our case, after decades. Of course we talked of our aches and pains and yes, we grabbed a light jacket ...just in case, but we were those same people that were singing Springsteen at the top of our lungs in cars and matching each other shot for shot. It was fascinating to see that although we have been away from each other, we can relate and have the same take on pop culture that we have clearly experienced separately. For example laughing at Seinfeld references ...that is kind of universal. Whaddya know, it seems to me I found a couple pieces of my heart that I thought I lost when these dear people moved out of my life.
So when we feel like we are losing someone or something, a friend. a relationship, a school... maybe, just maybe, they are taking a piece of your heart with them and keeping it with them. I feel like there definitely are now pieces of my heart in NYC and the general tri-state area. I think that's a good thing, no, a great thing. That's what I learned on my (pre-) summer vacation.. If I can pick up where I left of with old friends, maybe I don't have to feel like I've lost them. After three decades, a couple of gals can still shop, have a drink or two. get stopped on the street to be complimented (thank you handsome Little Italy waiter) giggle about stupid things before going to sleep ( which was considerably earlier than the last go around)and share secrets that you know you can only share with someone who has a piece of your heart.
What I thought was going to be a fun getaway turned out to be quiet an enlightening experience. I returned to my life of mistaken car insurance cancellation, another urgent run to get some odd fruit request and the uncertainty of my next school year with a new out look. It was just what I needed. I can certainly say that I will leave a piece of my heart in every part of that little school and especially with the people that I realistically may not ever see again. But my trip to the big city showed me that is okay. You leave a piece but it doesn't leave a gap. It gets filled with new people and relationships and your heart does go on and on....near....far ....where ever you are.... you know I waited as long as I could to use that lyric.
As I start my summer, my heart is filled with my ever crazy, loving family who I adore and enjoy more and more with every stage of their busy, blossoming lives. Not to mention a bunch of eager drama-manaics who anxiously await the excitement of our annual summer musical (much more on that to come)...,and of course I can give hunks of my heart away because it is more than filled with my wonderfully hysterical and truly beautiful grandson. We took walk today and as we stopped every so often to Ninja Turtle fight some "bad guys" and referrred to me as "his buddy", I realized my heart couldn't be fuller. Well..... I guess it kind of can....maybe with another grand child perhaps..no pressure or anything but.if you're reading this.....foots a tappin' here....just sayin'
