I have been thinking lately that I have been hearing the phrase "I don't know, this has never happened before" an awful lot. I think sometimes it's an answer for when someone doesn't have an answer. I know have mentioned in previous blogs about my experience with the birth of my youngest daughter. I remember asking "what and why this was happening to me" and them scratching their heads saying, "We don't know, we've never seen this before" . Those really aren't the words you want coming out of your doctor's mouth. I had trouble believing that since the beginning of medical history, my situation ( a mere almost fatal bowel obstruction) was so rare that it took 2 weeks to figure out- Hey, shouldn't I be in a medical journal I asked.... to be hit with- "just hang in there and we'll send you for more tests"...more stuff you don't want to hear from your doctor...if it were today I would half expect House to walk, well limp in to save the day. But here it is almost 25 years later and that phrase "I don't know, this has never happened before " is still being used...at nausem, I might add.
Example One:
My aforementioned daughter bought a house. I am so SO proud of her! She is a little independent sort that knows what she wants and fearlessly goes after it. - And she got it- sort of. Just 5 hours before her closing, her lawyer called to say the seller is coming up short, financially . Is that why they call it a short sale? I don't know but that is what happened.. After what seemed like a million phone calls and questions- the answers kept coming up, you guessed it " I don't know, this has never happened before"
FOR REAL???? So she waits to close once again- and I'm sure there is a reason for all of this- there always is. In the meantime, my house looks like an episode of hoarders....boxes that you know as soon as you up pack, will be ready to pack back up! She'll get there-and she will have uncharted territory of her own I'm sure and hey it's better to move in the springtime anyway!
Example Two:
In my new job, where every day is a first time for me, I was told one of my tasks is to organize and coordinate a "Shadow Day". It is kind of a cool deal, kids get to "shadow" a job or career that they may want to pursue or in some case they BS their way into a day off from school. So since the beginning of January, I have restructured and re wrote the program - contacted area businesses - got a lot of rejections and a lot of positive feedback for some awesome opportunities. Okay, I can do this! I had some help along the way, but I pretty much single handedly placed over 30 kids in their career of choice- ranging from Marine Biologist to Welder. So here we go- a couple days before I hold a meeting to check permission slips, coordinate attendance and give them some tips on being in the "real world" - like dress appropriately, be on time, don't ask how much money they make...you know common sense!. I send them off and wish them luck for the coming, exciting day... hey is it snowing out? Make sure you take an envelope to send a thank you note...hey it's really Freaking snowing!!! And snow it did- like Dr. Zhivago snow ...enough to cancel school on 2014 Shadow Day...FOR REAL???? SO, of course the next day my question is...what do we do now? and the answer- let's all say it together, shall we "I don't know, this has never happened before". Months of work down the drain....it was a PR nightmare-kids asking what to do, businesses questioning the protocol for the situation and here's me...just me! So instead of bursting into tear, which was my original idea, I made the kids participating call their "mentors' and reschedule the day themselves. I mean the program is set up to be a learning experience about the real word and this is stuff that happens, right?. I guess there was some comment made (by an educator no less) about if that is they way it should have been handled and I would have gladly addressed it if it wasn't said behind my back ( in true high school fashion). Yep, that's they way we do it now.
There is something free-ing about uncharted territory, you can kind of do what you want. Plant your flag so to speak and do it your way .....sometimes
Example Three-(sort of)
I am in a situation - where I can honestly say "this has never happened before"- if it did I wouldn't remember because I.. am.. getting ...old. I don't know when this happened or how it snuck up on me but being a women of this age is truly a journey of "well this is new". From the extra unearned pounds around my waist ( I say UNearned because I have proudly earned some extra pounds - chips, cookies, full rack of ribs, you know, snacks) But lately, clothes fit differently on a day to day basis and then there's the surprise period usually accompanied by they surprise emotional outburst. Yes this is truly uncharted territory for me. I used to have a memory- a real good one too. When I was younger, my mom used to tell me things SHE didn't want to forget - and I would always remember!! I used to know birthdays or lyrics or names or if I paid a bill or not or why did I just walk in to this room??? Not any more. I was watching Jeopardy the other day and I'm thinking, along with the College and the Teen Challenge- they should have a Menopause Edition. It would be acceptable to answer ( in the form of a question of course ) "what is....you know that thing..." or "who is ....oh what is her name...that one who was in that thing" and of course there would be a whole section of time where you are searching for the stupid buzzer that WAS RIGHT THERE A MINUTE AGO.
But you know some first are great....first kisses, first in line, first Springsteen concert, first car, first plane ride, the first time you hear mama (and Gaga in my case. ) Not being a first born, I have to say the first time ever I saw the face of my first, second and third baby... Being a grandma has been the greatest first for me. It is truly uncharted and I am not by any means traditional ( I went to see Green Day with my Grandson, for goodness sakes) but hey I was never a GAGA before and when the next one comes along, that may be totally different too! Uncharted territory- it's not a bad thing and there is a first time for everything!
I am learning that as a first time owner a big dog. Yes I know, as my daughter says, we live in a zoo and we've always had puppies- but never have I ever had a big, big, BIG dog. Enter Finn- he is a rescue puppy I adopted thinking I was going to have an empty nest....see above. I was love at first sight! Finn (as in Finean's Rainbow...in keeping with my Broadway named pets) is a part boxer, part shepherd, part Shetland Pony. He is big ...Mr. Big is actually the nickname his foster owners gave him for a certain unmentionable appendage and not his giant paws either. My life is kind of turned upside down with this wonderful puppy. Are you familiar with Clifford the Big Red Dog books- yep that's my life . He gallops through the house, he thinks he's a little lap dog and likes to sleep on 50-75 % of my bed - he eats EVERYTHING in sight .. So now, I have to think like I never have before-Like when I cook- I used to be able to put things (like a pound of cooked bacon) on my counter. Yep, he ate a POUND OF COOKED BACON!!! I can honestly say I cried- you know what a pain it is to cook bacon...and how wonderful it is to eat bacon... It was a sad day. The "L T's" would have no "B" that day, my friends. Oh well, another first in my that never happened before uncharted territory life with a dog that will be wayyyy bigger than me in a couple months.
Firsts can be scary sometimes, but exciting as well- and you can't let "this never happened before" be an acceptable answer or solution to a problem. Take everyday as a opportunity to do something new and it just may be the first time you taste your new favorite food. You could meet your new best friends or soul mates by trying out for a musical for the first time- So get a new hair cut, wear a color you never wear, or be the first to sing karaoke. Buy a house, buy a big dog...it's all uncharted territory!
I don't know if any of my faithful reader have noticed a certain word so obviously missing from this blog- well it's Lent and I always try to give up swearing for Lent- and this year I tried not to even write it- hmmmm a blog without the F word in it- well I guess there IS a first time for everything-just sayin'
