Friday, June 5, 2020

...And I Feel Fine

Again I go to music to find my blog title.... This is courtesy of REM ...let’s all sing it shall we ...It’s the end of the world as we know it....”  A few nights ago, as our skies filled with lightning, like an air strike that I’ve seen in way too may news videos...this song popped in my head.  At first I thought the rumbling of thunder may have been gunshots (seriously, gunshots ) but wait ...what about the virus!!!- “That’s great it starts with an earthquake....” 
As my big cowardly lion of a dog jumped on me I said - It’s fine... you’re fine... I’m fine. ...We’re all fine- are we though?
I know I haven’t blogged in a while because everything just seemed the same -days are running into each other - go out don’t go out wear a mask go out zoom wash your hands FaceTime I think I’m going to venture out what mask should I wear today....with little glimmers of hope as we moved into phase 1 and now phase 2 of reopening. Who would’ve thought I would long for those days of boredom and monotony?!?!

About ten days ago or more than that, or who knows how long ago, 30-50 years ago, a horrible act of police brutality and murder occurred in the midst of this shit show called 2020. The first six months,  filled with fear and worry about this crazy virus that was looming and then eventually settled in our country-  now we deal with another virus that’s been looming around since before we can all remember. I don’t know what to say about it and it’s hard to keep quiet but it’s also hard to put your feelings into words without sounding uneducated or ignorant or privileged or offensive. I’ve been waiting for the dust settle, which I realized, probably never will. But wait...according to social media which has been flooded- there are many things to do. Things to do to be better.... Websites, Donation sites, Informational Memes... These memes are like the protest songs of the 60’s.  I can hear Stephen Stills voice now.....”what a field day for the heat- a thousand people in the streets”.
For what it's worth, (see what I did there...the name of the song...raise your hand if you caught it) I look at it as maybe we had to have this giant virus come in to our world so we could make a change for the better. Slow down, start doing the right thing for society, care for our environment and each other. Now, we have this unspeakable act of hatred, cowardice,  racism and deplorable abuse of power....and my God...enough!!!! How many of these situations have to occur?  With this incident, though  the ensuing riots and protests, throughout the country and support from all over the world, it remind me of the fear and heartbreaking confusion I felt as a kid in the 60’s  and well, maybe we needed this to make the change.

A good friend of mine asked me what I’ve done differently during quarantine and do I think that it’s something that I would continue. Have I noticed a positive change, you know, eating healthier  (for the rest of my life ?) I’m going to sustain the daily exercising  ( how about...no)  So I really thought about it....as this friend always challenges me to do.
I’ve been trying to do things better during this time.   I think, yes ... it’s just to be better!  For a lame example, I‘ve been cleaning excessively...anything that doesn’t move (I guess that’s not true because the animals are spotless) but because of boredom with a side of paranoia...“this house is clean”. My life BC (before covid) was so busy which is a horrible excuse, but housework was done with “a lick and a prayer” as my mom used to say....and to be clear I never licked anything clean...BC,  everything was clean -enough, now because of the constant disinfecting and just having time on my  overly—washed hands, everything has been the cleanest it’s ever been. I think I will keep that up because I like it. Please don’t get me wrong- I’ve always been a clean person, a bit messy, but always clean,  now...as I stand with hands on hips - I proclaim- I’m going to be better.
I will better  try to understand other people’s points of view without judgment ... you know “walk a mile in their shoes”  before I comment. Wellllllll ....everyone who knows me knows I’m judgy/funny.  I think I’ve mentioned before about the time when I was a practicing Catholic and went to confession at my daughter’s  request. She was going to make her Reconciliation ...exciting for kids ...horrifying for adults.  I asked the priest if it’s a sin to judge and basically make funny comments  if it’s for humor?  He laughed, but saw I was serious...sacrament serious....he said I think you’re OK, with that I mean you never want to be mean spirited or  malicious ( which I’m generally not) Then he gave me the God made you this way speech... Can you cue the Lady Gaga song? All non-malicious kidding aside,  I feel  if giving people the benefit of the doubt and sticking up for the underdog is something I’ve done in the past, well then, I’m gonna do it better.
I think we all just need to do it better.

On the subject of making things better, we’ve been doing some home improvements which included adding  screens and an awning to our patio, climbing on the roof to fix the gutters, putting up a pool,  building a shed, improving  the laundry room, planting a vegetable garden and a lot of organization and cleaning.  Through it all ... the two of us have for the most part worked well together and .....I’m as surprised as anyone. I feel like we’re a very very very poor man’s Chip and Joanna... but our HGTV show can be This Old Spouse or  Just Throw a Tarp on It. We invite to tune in to our new Home Improvement Show about a couple who has been married for 38 years and quarantined for about the same amount of time... called “I JUST SAID THAT!”   Honestly though, I think because we have had the time....and dictated space...we have gotten along BETTER.
The times the are a changing my friends....so let’s take this opportunity to be better and make those changes positive ones. Graham Nash says ... “we can change the world...rearrange the world...it’s dying to get better”...   I truly believe that ...and to bring it back to REM ...Everybody Hurts, but it would be nice to see some Shiny Happy People, but like, real human people...not shiny aliens or anything, I mean, you got to assume that’s what’s next.....just sayin’