do your job...do your f***ing job-part one

I know, kind of a harsh title ...and the more I thought about it, I realized this may have to be a covered in multiple parts...a mini series if you will. But for now I am going to focus on the job/ the lost art of being a parent. I have been a parent for 337 months (parents always talk in terms of months...don't do the math it's really 28 years 1 month). I remember my non-parent friends condescendingly saying "it's the hardest job in the world". ...ouch-it was like a verbal pat on the head... okay, go away now. I would obediently smile and nod because they had NO IDEA. The thing that made it the hardest job is that is a 24 hour job...no breaks,no lunch hour no contact with other non-diaper wearing human beings (hold your comments that's a whole other blog) Yes-that made it tough, but the job itself is pretty simple. Take care of your kids...food, shelter -yeah yeah yeah...love, of course, but talk to them, teach them, you know abc's - 123's - do re mi's if you're feeling Julie Andrews-y.
Here's what got me started on this rant- school started a few weeks ago.  We are all back for another round...and like every September, we have a whole new crop of kindergartners, cute as can be  Not too many criers this year ( kids, not parents, parent always cry. I remember I was the one clicking my heels, by the way) as a matter of fact, they seemed pretty happy to be at school.
But then comes the real part of school, not just the new back pack and light up sneakers ( I secretly want a pair)but the abc's and 123's, the sit down and raise your hand and don't talk back to the teacher or any other adult for that matter ( aren't you supposed to be kind of afraid of adults when you're 5...???) Well some kids get it...some kids always get it- but then there's the one ( waaayyy more than one unfortunately) that do not and when you are 5 years old, I think I have to say the parents are the ones that don't get it. 

I mean seriously, what have you been doing with these kids for the last five years!!!  Now, I hear you all chiming in- the times they are a changin -MJ...people need to work they can't stay home with their kids like you did ( I worked part time-so no we didn't go to Disney and yes I'm still in debt) these parents are young ( I was 23..first time using no birth control = baby...who knew) some of these kids are raised by their grandparents  (bring it ,fellow grandmas, bring it).  Enough I say.  There is no excuse for your children not being ready for year one of their long trip on the education train. Where are all the braggy kindergarten  parents? It used to be  "my kids can read at this grade level already"...now it's " my kid is on this many sports teams."
Is it to much to ask that letters and numbers be a part of a toddlers life....are they plopped in front of tv? If so...there are shows that can teach those things if you aren't willing (or able) to. 
But how about right from wrong.  Sometime if I tell a student "no" they look at me as if it's the first time they've ever heard it...it very well may be.  Also, do kids not play game anymore.. not video type games..but like CandyLand ...Go Fish games..and if they do, do they always win- because not every one can win.
Not every one can be Ultimate Supreme ---can we talk about Toddlers & Tiaras for just a second. 

Honestly, what is the matter with these people. Not the people that watch the show (me) but the people who think it's a fabulous idea to spray tan their 3 year old, glue false eyelashes on them and force them to do their fat-ass choreography in front of what I am assuming are child beauty pageant survivors who are now the judges. Judges who give points based on the height of their hair and the amount of glitter they have on and if they wink seductively enough and do that creepy dimple thing with their fingers on their cheeks.  Oh and the flippers...false teeth!!!! false teeth on kids because sometimes (read this with sarcasm in your voice)their teeth fall out around age 6 or 7 ...unacceptable in fat ass beauty pageant land.  Sorry, I must have had one too many pixie sticks and too much mountain dew mixed with energy drink...that is actually a "trick" used on the show to keep the kid's energy up....last time I looked -don't 3-7 year olds have a shit ton of energy.....
Okay...that is the extreme, to borrow their words, the ultimate supreme of bad parenting. but it is becoming more and more evident as years go on....I don't want to sound like the "these kids these days" kind of old lady...but c'mon really it isn't that hard. Read a book or two, count the red cars that go by, and maybe just say no sometimes. 
We are all doing the best we can I know, but we can do a little better when there are kids involved, Looking back I know I could have too. I'm know I've made my mistakes. But all these years later I have a teacher, an x ray tech and a budding chef..but most of all I have three really good, solid people, kind, decent, good work ethic etc. which I don't take all the credit for ( because when you do you then have to take the blame when they do dumb-ass stuff too).  So do your f***ing job....it still isn't that hard. I am definitely way more tired but ..I'm working 2 sometimes 3 jobs...I obviously have time to watch really embarrassing reality tv ... but when I babysit my 19 month old grandson...he can recognize the number 3 when he sees it...genius?.... just saying

so live your life...

I wasn't going to blog about today, the 10th anniversary.  I feel almost unworthy to talk about how I remember every minute of that day- what I was doing - where I was....  I also don't want to be one of those flag waving, red white and blue phonies who want to publicly thank those who gave their lives, etc....(you phonies know who you are). But the fact of the matter is my life changed that day like everyone else.   My seemingly insignificant (by comparison, that is) life changed in very significant ways. 

Like ten years ago,  it's the first week of school, the weather is a beautiful mixture of the warmth of the sun and the crispness of fall.  My dad, who was in the hospital  10 years ago, is ailing, thankfully not hospital worthy, but ailing.  Then, I had a kid in college, one in high school and one in middle school.  Today my children are still in various stages of  life .  I am ten years older although I don't feel it nor do I act it, quite the contrary...(another blog)
So what's different?   What's different is now I live my life.  I'm not sure I did before. But I do now.  In the past ten years I have had losses that would have devastated me...and joys that I can't even find the appropriate words to describe.  I wonder how I would have handled the good, the bad and the fugly had my life not been changed that day.

I would like to think that I am thankful for every day that I have on this earth...good or bad...(but if any one is listening ....I can use more of the good ones) Unfortunately I don't think too many people feel that way.  Oh sure, right after and maybe a year or so after and probably every September 11th (aforementioned phonies) people were all about the random acts of kindness, sharing, caring and USA USA USA.....but I have noticed, because that's what I do....people right back to their old tricks.  Entitlement, greed,  inconsideration and complacency and ME ME ME.  Don't say you haven't noticed it either..
my contract says I get a bonus of a bazillion dollars even though I ran the company into the ground and all these peons lost everything...ME ME ME....or I screwed up your dental claim but I don't care enough about you to straighten it out...you do it yourself and get back to me but by that time some new rule would have been to into place... so sorry or why should I have to pay 5 dollars more for my insurance so someone else can have health care...USA USA ....c'mon everyone...
Now I'm not saying I haven't slipped up myself and cut someone/flipped someone off while driving  or slipped into my " financial why me"  mode...I'm not a F***ing robot, you know . But on a whole....I think I live my life...even if that life sucks you in with the day in day out horseshit ( I love that word so better than bull shit ...just fyi)

But once in a while something happens to make you stop and think ....what if this is the last day I get...what if there is another horrifying day like that one around the corner.  I wish I can take credit for this line...I can't remember who said it or even where I read it. I would like to give that person a nod...but they said and I am paraphrasing....Before that day, an attack was the last thing on my mind, now it's the first... my apologies to the author for the re- wording...but that always stuck with me because it's true.  Being Italian we are expect the worst...Hell, we were raised that way and yes, we worry about it before it even (and usually never) happens...but no one expected to see those images that are tattooed on our brains for good.

It could be a national tragedy or a personal one.... you really don't know what scary monster is out there.....so live your life, live it like it's your last time around the dance floor...like it's last call.....like that last, very best kiss.....I guess you can kind of see what I'll be up to on the last day...just saying