Well, it has been kind of a rough week for this usually cheerful/cynical girl. I lost a good friend. I lost one about 9 years ago -I lost one about 9 days ago and for some reason there is a connection.
My friend that I lost years ago was also my sister in law...but she was certainly my friend. She lost a battle with breast cancer and this being "Pink-tober" ...that feeling was in the air. Everywhere you look is pink...and that's cool...it's awareness ( yes I know ...I'm over due for my mamo...I'm going ...I'm going). The fact that everytime we tried to take a step of the Breast Cancer walk...it poured...it teamed ...it was very clear to me that she was in the air...
"Quick- everyone-under the tent"
"Okay...it's slowing down...let's walk" ...... rain...rain...RAIN!!!!
"Quick- everyone- under the tent"
Finally I thought...I don't think she wants us to walk! - Okay, read the signs any way you want...but if you knew her, that rain her was saying ...go ...go have breakfast...go watch the Bills game...so we did.
I get those signs all the time. On the anniversary of that awful day that she left this earth...I say to the heavens (where she most definitely is)"Hope I see you today"...and I always do. To some people they were just little gifts ( oh by the way did I mention it was Christmas time when she passed away ...seriously Christmas time!??!! )To some people it was just an angel ornament...a pink scarf ...a little figurine collectible -but to me it was a big hello from my sister in law...my friend that I miss so much.
The best was this past year. I was waiting ...emotionally looking around every corner...waiting for my hello. But she is tricky my sister in law, my friend... I was getting gifts here and there ,but nothing that would resemble her hello ( although the bottles of "spirits" -pun intended- were appreciated). Then my phone buzzed...who is texting me???....forgetting that my own sister was awaiting word about the sex of the baby her daughter was carrying....I check my phone and all I see are two words...THINK PINK!!!
Cue waterworks...so happy that my sister was going to have a granddaughter and experience the joy (that I know first hand ) of being a grandma...but with those two words I got my hello and I would like to think a little intervention...My niece was so hoping for a girl...and yeah, yeah.. I know how it works XY chromosomes and all that shit....but in my heart- my sister in law, my friend worked her magic. She was like magic... she truly did live-laugh and love and we did that together...especially laugh!
I can remember after every show her daughter did or my family did we would chat for hours about it. We would talk about what was great...how great our kids were...how everyone else sucked ...and how we would have done it differently....it was really one of the best parts of doing the show other than the actual doing of the show!!! I miss that more that anyone will ever know
.....so here's my connection.
Last week, I lost a friend. He was a show friend ...but so, so much more. There were people that you did shows with...and then there was Tom. Now I haven't heard from Tom for almost 30 years and one day last year I got a FaceBook message from him saying "I found you". That was it...we were back!
Say what you want about FaceBook....it's a soap box...a self serving one at that....a place to put pictures of yourself looking all fancy or most of the time looking like a jackass...but to me it will always be the vehicle that got me back in touch with Tom. We saw each other quite a few times over which turned out to be his last bit of time on earth . But who knew... we were back...we acted like it was 30 years ago. True, it wasn't a catch phrase back then but we certainly did live laugh and love...especially laugh. Even just recently at a 3 hour lunch...we laughed... I could always count on him for a laugh and at the most inappropriate things...my personal favorite things to laugh at.. for example..(and I'm really, truly sorry if I offend anyone ) the 911 call of the women who owned the monkey who attacked that other woman's face. He did an awesome impression of that awful screeching phone call...
"he's killing her"
"who ma'am??"
"MY MONKEY"
...so sorry... again so so sorry ....with heads hung in shame, we both agreed how horrible that event had to have been...but the phone call ...it made us both giggle a bit...alright a lot...but that was Tom.
So when he sent me a text on the opening night of The Wiz and so eloquently quoted a line from a Wiz song... so perfectly timed that I could tearfully share it with the cast...I was touch but not surprised ...that was my friend Tom.
I will miss him more than anyone will ever know. And like with my sister in law, my other friend, I will look for signs. I may have already gotten one. The night of Tom's wake, I was on the computer playing some mind numbing game and looking at some old pic (okay some stalking). I was on the computer literally for hours when I decided to hop on to his page...the page where I learned about his passing and I was able to read all the tributes to him and see his face once more ... just then, my computer froze. After hours of no computer problems at all...it froze...froze on his page...on his name...on his face. To some people it may have been a technological glich...to me it was hello....just saying.
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