I have been thinking about men lately....and not because of that 50 Shades of Whatever. I think about men a lot. So what...I have a lot of men in my life to think about. A husband, a dad, a son, a son-in-law, a grandson, co workers, friends and to top it off, I was in search of about a dozen or so guys who can sing and dance.
Yes it is theater season again and we decided to do Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat ...which requires in addition to the main character of Joseph, his 11 brothers! We did it...we found a dozen (and then some) talented young men to fill the bill which only means, I will be surrounded by even more men this summer! (Much more about my musical trial and tribulations to come...) So back to men
Maybe because it was just Father's Day ...maybe because I went to 3 wakes for 3 men. One was a grandfather, one dad from our school..one father of a dear friend who was also a war hero. All very sad and all got me thinking about the men in my life and men in general.
I don't claim to be an expert, but a few decades of observation and 30 years of marriage have led me to the conclusion of men...they are all alike! Young, old, gay, straight, any shape, size or color....men are all alike. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. There is some comfort in that I feel. I have had many conversations over coffee or stronger beverages about husbands or boy friends and many times my answer to them has been..."it's a man thing" More times than not...I have been right..."It's a man thing".
So what does that mean......the idea that men are only after one thing is true...but that one thing changes, it differs a bit with the man and the situation, but I will try to break it down
HUNGRY- EAT TIRED - SLEEP MISERABLE- POOP
(usually poop...sometimes this last emotion if you can call miserable an emotion involves s-e-x ...a shade of grey if you will). I know it sounds infantile but in my experience it helps to keep this in mind and it applies cradle to grave. My grandson and my husband are much easier to be around after they EAT SLEEP POOP ...(starring Julia Roberts...).
Proof: One time we had to deal with an insurance issue. I spoke to the insurance agent, I got all the info ...I made some decision or two that I was a little unsure about. So I called the Mr and told him what I had done/decided and he was very quite on the other end of the line.
ME:"Did I do the wrong thing...should I have done something different, you're not saying anything" HIM: "It's fine, but really have to go to the bathroom."
Your Honor...I rest my case!
Maybe this is not true with all men...but in my experience, it makes life easier if you get those three things out of the way first, then you can further investigate and they are sooooo different from girls it's kind of refreshing. Speaking as a mother. I have 2 daughters 1 son...now we all know how girls can be (that is a blog and a half) but having a boy in the middle gave me a little respite from GIRLWORLD.
Proof: My son had some guys over back when Texas Hold 'Em was all the rage. There were some words exchanged about some one cheating blah blah blah, voices got loud and there was some storming out. I was panicked. I was expected to spend the next day on the phone with some of the moms of these upset boys and I was trying to piece together how it all went down. The next day rolls around and there they are.. all the boys ...everyone of them back at my house, playing poker like nothing happened. Awesome! If this were one of my girls and a situation like that broke out...I would be dealing with weeks of phone calls and tears and probably an eating disorder or two. Holy shit! I love men!
Another cool thing about men is that my son and my husband are still friends with people they went to elementary school with. I have one, just one that I stay in touch with... Tammy- who used to ride bikes by boys houses with me and was by my side for my first encounter with a real man...Hubbell Gardner (aka Robert Redford in the Way We Were.) That perfect man in that perfect movie which we saw about 100 times and consequently "ruined romance for us" ...But it was those early days looking for a ''Hubbell" that made me love men!
I do ...I love men...which is why I am giving myself license to dish a little. I like the company of men...I prefer to work for and with men I get along with all the cooks (men) at the restaurant and share a room at school with a man....I kind of grew up as a "one of the guys" girls. (I'm "the you're so funny, hey, let's chug a beer and listen to this disgusting , offensive joke and who is your tall blonde friend? " girl) So I have always felt comportable around men. ....most of my friends and very best friends are men. I DO believe men and women can be friends (sorry to the "Billy Crystal" out there... I think I kind of do believe it)
But as much as I love men I hope everyone out there that you knows you have to love yourself before you can really love any man...or anything. I don't want to go all Oprah on you ...but you come first...then your man...(that's what she said...couldn't resist) But honestly, sometimes we lose ourselves in what our men want and drive ourselves crazy "over a guy" to quote Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. I love that movie too. She is a successful news producer whose world is shook up "over a guy"...now granted this guy was William Hurt. But it goes to show you how we can drive ourselves to drink because some man says or does something that cuts us to the core and we spend hours trying to shake it and figure it out what it all means and sometime the answer is very simple.
Sometimes our men just want to EAT SLEEP POOP and maybe a couple a shades of grey...just sayin
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