I'm throwing you all a curve ball with the name of this blog. The decision to use that particular title with a deliberate omission of punctuation, will be addressed. Read on, my friends, read on. The true theme of this installment is quite positive. It should be called "The Luckiest People in the World." Even that title is a curve ball. (throwing these curve balls is the most exercise I've gotten in months).
Anyone who read my last blog knows what my little family has been through the last several months. I do have to say the outcome has truly catapulted us into that category of the Luckiest People in the World.
As I sat in an oncologist waiting room with my cancer-free healthy husband, that phrase kept ringing in my ears. We are sooooo lucky, fortunate, blessed. however you want to say it ....we dodged a big fucking bullet. The oncologist waiting room is not a place where you want 'everyone to know your name"....you don't want to be a regular there. You don't want the workers there to look at you with that look and say "how you DOING today?" I know it's hard to convey it in print , but take my word for it, it was a different "HOW you doing today? " than we got. Lucky!
The sweet scarf headed woman playing the same game on her phone as I was, I'm sure was not thinking "why can't I get past this fucking level??!!" Damn Candy Crush game. Other than being stuck on level 65....Lucky!
But that being said...that isn't where I'm going with this. As unbelievably grateful as I am for our blessings....I am lucky for another reason. I am lucky because I GET IT. Now get your filthy minds out of the gutter and bare with me (hahaha bare), There is a group of people out there, and you know who you are, that get it! I also believe the people that GET IT, seek out other people that GET IT.
For those of you reading this and are saying ...oh I get it, enjoy the ride. You know what I mean. Those who think they maybe get it but are not sure...read on. Those who are already offended by anything I have said...stop...go back and watch anything with Tim Allen in it or that Big Bang show(now I just don't get that show but everyone else does) Anyway....
TO GET IT:
You must be able to weed through all the bullshit of everyday life and stop taking the wrong things so seriously. I don't think you have to go through life altering events to realize this either. Although that does give you the kick in the ass you may need. The people that don't get ( it in my opinion) use these event as crutches and not as learning experiences. Just check Face Book. Speaking of FB, how funny is it when someone is ranting about something or bragging about how great they are or kissing some one's ass and 75% of their shit is misspelled .".thanks for being their for me....your the best"....snicker snicker...if you find humor in that...you get it!!!
Now I know what you're thinking....what makes you so fucking perfect and I know you're thinking it. Well I'm not....I make tons of mistakes....(not so many grammatical ones thanks to my junior high school English teacher) but I giggle at some taking themselves so seriously and not taking the time to re-read what they wrote. I work at a school and I will spell check my name before I send it out on something that you can't unsend. But don't just rely on spell check folks because..... many years ago we received mail from the Department of Education in Albany and the envelope was stamped "ATTENTION PRINCIPLE" They used the wrong one!!!! GET IT??? cuz not too many people did until I pointed it out..."your principal is your PAL" Thank you Mr. Noworyta!! All those who got it join me in a resounding "doy-ee".
Now another way to get it is to be able to quote an awesome movie at the most appropriate time or ideally, an inappropriate time. Here's a test: while in a group of people quote something from The Producers or any Mel Brooks movie and see who laughs or if it's a massively inappropriate situation, see gives you the eye or the look. The look is half mortified and half admiration....They GET IT!!!
Being able to communicate with your eyes is like the secret hand shake of those who GET IT.
I remember being at a class reunion...the mecca for people taking themselves too seriously. I was sitting with an old classmate who had become a what they used to call a Born Again Christian. In the distance I saw another old friend with inappropriate-ness written all over his face. I'm not sure what or how it happened, I may have even blacked out, but afterwards I recall hearing"thank God for those eyes MJ" Crisis averted!
There was a bunch of us who GOT IT in high school (yeah baby...getting it in high school). I had a good friend who I knew back then was lucky enough to get back in touch with after some 30 years and unfortunately lost about a year and a half ago. He was one of those lucky people got it and didn't who knew it. He is the one who said when he gets a pet he will name it Peeve so he can say "this is my pet, Peeve"....GET IT? He also wanted a dog named FIDO but would spell it PHYDOUX. Goofy kid stuff I know, but when we met up after 3 decades and he told me he was embarrassed but still laughed about that woman in Florida with the chimpanzee who she raised like her son and acted like a real human but unfortunately tore the neighbor's face off, I knew he still got it. Now no one thinks that the act of having you face torn off is funny at all...honestly I think its horrific...but a monkey driving the family car and having lobster for dinner with the occasional mood altering pharmaceutical chaser is a little funny.
Just a little...no? If you think no and think somethings should not be made fun of...I'm sorry. I truly apologize and agree to disagree as they say....but those of you who felt their lip creep up in an almost smile, congratulations...you are one of the luckiest people in the world....you get it!
People have told me I'm going to hell....not in anger like, GO TO HELL...but with some concern for my warped soul and my inability to keep my wretched thoughts to myself. So I decided to go to the top with this and went to the closest thing to the top that I could think of. I went to church. Truly worried about my little soul, I asked a priest if he thought I was a sinner or at the very least a terrible person for making inappropriate comments about hardships to make others laugh...I mean " Father, it really is about the humor." He couldn't help but smile and he said he thinks God understands, He made me this way.....GOD GETS IT...whaddya know!
So all my peeps that get it and we know who we are....WE GOING TO HEAVEN BITCHES!!!
Heaven will be all about my favorite thing....sitting around with a bunch of us lucky people, taking a situation and beating the shit out of it with exaggerations and nonsense ...crossing the line...moving it and crossing it again. I will be with all my favorite people...especially my children because they too get it ...it must be inherent. Oh yeah and there will be an open bar!!!
In September I will be starting over again in a new school after 19 years. I was the one who was already there for the new lucky people to "click" with. It usually takes about 12 seconds and then you are...BFF's. There is some comfort in knowing that there is a group of lucky people... who get it located in my new school where ever that may be. They are there waiting there for me to say something inappropriate, I just know it. I look forward to the eye rolls from those who never saw Blazing Saddles and to the nod of approval who think the phrase "wed woses... how womantic " is fwiggen hysterical. I'll know I'm among some of the luckiest people in the world....Those who enjoy finding the obscurity in life ...considering SCTV a religion of sorts...being able to dish it out AND take it. Being able to laugh at yourself and laugh at others but being savvy enough not to hurt any one's feelings which you usually don't because THEY don't GET IT anyway.."Oh I get it...I get it...a very obscure quote from an even obscurer Mel Brooks movie and if you got that ding ding ding you are one of THE luckiest people in the world.....just sayin.
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