Act 2 Scene 2.... Polonius asks Hamlet "What do you read, my lord?" and Hamlet answers "Words, Words,Words", Now I was pretty sure it was Hamlet, but I'm not going to lie and say I knew what scene it was from. I had to look it up since the most I remember about Hamlet comes from when the castaways performed it for big Hollywood producer Harold Hecuba on Gilligan's Island....don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about ("Never a borrower or a lender be...." set to the music of Carmen....classic!)
But I always remembered Words Words Words. Maybe because I love words. I bet it comes as no surprise to anyone that I love words. I always have. I remember writing stories and poems in elementary school (oh yeah, always in those anthologies) I remember making up crossword puzzles when I was junior high. Reading and rewriting plays in high school and going to school for Communications and writing for the college paper. I'm addicted to Words with Friends and I fear I have lost some friends because of it. (you know who you are). And my favorite thing to do on a Sunday is curl up on the couch, with a big cup of Tim Horton's coffee and do both Sunday crosswords puzzles ....in pen, that's right, pen, bitches! Do you know a 3 letter word for a bitter vetch? I do ERS...whatever
Words Words Words...I've made up a few and have adopted some as my own. For example
"oochie-bit" ...an oochie-bit is a cookie or pastry or even a salty type snack you eat when you're in the mood for something but you don't know what.
"Utzy" ....utzy is a feeling when you don't know what to do with yourself, your arms and legs feel all awkwardy and you can't get comfortable. Usually the only cure for feeling "utzy" is an "oochie-bit". "Frankenstrated"...now this one is a combination of being anxious and frustrated. I remember using it a lot before my daughter's wedding. Anyone who has ever planned a wedding knows that there are so many things to be done, but they have to be done at certain times. I knew I had tons of tasks to accomplish like getting chair covers but you can't really get the chair covers until the morning of...I was frustrated ...I was anxious...I was frankenstrated. Use it in a sentence....it's fun!
Now my new favorite word is (you guessed it)
"Shidiot" .. it's when idiot just doesn't cover it, like some kind of super idiot ...I guess it's a cross between shit head and idiot. It's usually accompanied by head shaking in disbelief. When someone can't figure out that you can't say you're really sick and stiff someone and then post pictures of yourself on facebook having a grand ol' time at a concert or party...."shidiot".
Words, Words Words....I love 'em. I love people who use them creatively. I have been insulted and complimented many times in my life. I don't remember most of them but I do remember that I have been called effervescent and I have been called exhausting. One compliment, one insult, both so very appreciated because of the thought went into the word choice. Thank You ! That being said, I would be remiss to not mention swearing and the thought that goes into each curse word I choose. I just love to swear. I'm sure that is not a surprise to anyone either. But I am a great swearer (except during Lent). Some people think those who swear are unintelligent, rude and are resorting to profanity because they don't know how to express themselves, au contraire mother fuckers...some study showed that people who use a lot of swear words tend to be more honest and trust worthy and there is no correlation between swearing and unintelligence. So shut the hell up and look at Jon Stewart of the Daily Show. Whether you agree with his politics or not, you have to admit that he is one intelligent man...he is well read and can hold his own with any politician or author AND he swears a lot...AND he loves crossword puzzles...I dare say he is the perfect man. I would love to curl up and "do a crossword" with him some day.
Did you ever notice that if you put things in quotes and especially if you do air quotes....it sounds dirty. David Letterman did a whole Top Ten list on it years ago and the one I always remembered was "frosting the pastry"....sounds filthy and delicious. But seriously how good does it feel to say the F word sometimes. It's a noun...it's a verb...adjective and adverb. A good "what the fuck?" really sometimes says it all.
Words, Words Words. The reason I have been thinking so much about words is because I have been at a loss for words as of late. This whole mom/ cancer situation has rendered me, yes me...word girl...speechless. I really can't put into words how I am feeling these days hopeful/hopeless ...encouraged/defeated, I guess I am angry but angry doesn't cut it....angry at who ...angry at what? People ask how she is doing and I can't find the word to describe it. Maybe people are just asking to be polite, but I just can't retort with a "she's better" or "not so good" ...it just doesn't seem like there's a proper way to address it. I usually say "I don't know"...which makes me look uncaring or uninvolved which I am neither...I am angry! W
hen the doctor came out of the OR waaaaaaay earlier than he should have, I knew that was not a good thing. After I picked my heart up out of somewhere between my stomach and my toes, we all went to the little room to talk. You never want to go to that fucking little room.(appropriate use of that word as an adjective) The surgery wasn't going to help her, more cancer than he thought and going with chemo first may be the way to combat this. Ok...disappointed /relieved ? Catch your breath and regroup. Let's tell her its not all bad news, same news ...different tactic. Did we not use the right words, does she get it?
I don't know if she is giving up or if she has no fight in her...which are valid feelings but they don't match the doctor's prognosis. Now we need to try to be encouraging but not bossy...understanding but not passive. It's a whole oxymoron-ity of being a child who is now a parent to a parent whois like a child. I am talking to her like I would my grandson...especially that she needs to poop before she is released to go home. Unfortunately, taking Ninja Turtles away is not quite the incentive for her. I don't know what to think or say anymore...hopefully it's temporary or it's bye, bye blog... I feel like a wall of tears are right behind my eyes and finding the right word will burst the dam. Maybe that's why I can't find it yet. People may say vulnerable , but I HATE that word...mainly because I can't seem to say it properly and because it is a feeling that I detest. Hands are tied...loss for words....this is hell for me. I am fucking word girl....how can someone who loves words so much be in such a dilemma. WTF???
The irony - I guess is life can be good and bad at the same time. I will talk and use the wrong words til the right ones come along and just be pissed off about it. I can't tell you the amount of conversations I have with my husband on the way home from hospital visits that end with me saying a desparate "you know what I mean?" to be only answered by a resounding "uh huh" ... and there it is - the brutal irony of this word girl's life....word girl is married to a man of few word. But to quote Mae West "very few words...but a lot of action" (wink wink) ....just sayin'
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