I'm Thankful for Peas

I am always blown away by the passage of time. They say you blink and years fly by...it is so true. I can't believe how old my kids are. I can't believe  how old my friends are....yeah, yeah, yeah -I can't believe  how old I am too.  Any how, this particular blog title shows the passage of time because it  was uttered by my son a mere 25 years ago.  He was sitting in his high chair while we were all preparing for the big Thanksgiving meal.  He must have overheard us talking and said he was "thankful for peas" ( I should have known then he would wind up in the food industry).  Well, my big obnoxious Sicilian family thought he said he was thankful for PEACE...."Oh my God ...did you hear what he said God Bless him"   "I can't believe it, God Bless him" "He is so sweet, God Bless him". Seriously, the kid was covered with peas and they had him pegged as the new Gandhi.  But that is my big, obnoxious Sicilian family.(God Bless 'em)..and I'm thankful for them,  So in the spirit of the season, here, in no particular order, are some of the things I am thankful for:

I am thankful for, of course, my family and my children but I am also thankful for my animals.  There is nothing like sitting on the couch and have one of my many pets come and plop down on my lap.  They know when you're feeling down or if you are ill.  They sense things, like when my daughter was pregnant, they knew not to jump up on her. It is uncanny how they know. They are so sweet and entertaining and dependable. I know every morning my two cats will join me in the bathroom and watch the toilet flush...their little heads circling ...they are like the "we are Siamese if you please"cats from Lady and the Tramp. I am thankful for my non human family!

I am thankful that after months of stressing, I wound up in a new position that really suits me and I'm in an office surrounded by wonderful characters and supportive people and friends where I feel like I can be myself...eventually. I am still watching my language a little and trying not to be too inappropriate. Oh well, we all know it's just a fucking matter of time.

I am thankful for Happy Hour where I meet up every Friday with my "girls" from the old school.  People roll their eyes when we said we would stay connected , but  a shit ton of Jack and Cokes later, we have.  I am so thankful for these people and the fact that we make the effort .  That is an amazing thing especially when you realize how quickly you can fall off of some one's plate.  I know that everyone is busy and life has a way of moving on, but a text, a let's get together, a "how's your mom doing" goes a long way in my book.  I am thankful for my friends old and new!

I am thankful for Bruce Springsteen. I am obsessed, I admit it, but when a song by the Boss comes on , I am 17 years old again.  I have seen him over a dozen times, with friends, with my husband (who always says he will never go to another concert with me again...just because the ONE time they guys behind us lifted me up in the air when he played Rosalita. and the ONE time  I teared up when he opened with Tunnel of Love) I have even  seen him a couple of times with my son, which is so awesome ...but my favorite concert partner is my sister in law...who has seen him I think 3 more times than I have.  One day we will finagle our way up to the front....I know we will.  I am thankful for the faith  that  "there's magic in the night"

I am thankful for the fact that my husband's latest colonoscopy did not turn out like the last time.  They did find a polyp but they did not call us immediately with that news that no one wants to hear, especially at Thanksgiving.  I am thankful for no news is good news!

I am thankful for the "remember the time" people in my life, both family and friends.  The time at the Taste of Buffalo when the old guy smashed an ice cream cone like he was Godzilla walking through Tokyo.  The time we went to that church and there was like 100 bottle of maple syrup on the shelves in the rectory.  The time we met those guys at Angola on the lake (yeah I married one of 'em) The time at the cottage in Canada and that Battleship game with that kid and how EVERYONE we knew came to that garbage pail party.  The "don't take a year" ice cream story. That "AHHH Freak Out" Mexican Train game".  The time we talked each other through turning 50. ...right down to the minute. Those are just a few of many times that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for musicals.  Musical have brought me years and years of happiness. Starting with listening to Camelot, Funny Girl, The Bells are Ringing and Hello Dolly with my sister to eventually being able to sing the entire score of Jesus Christ Superstar( including all the record skips ).  Musicals have brought me the best friends I could have ever dreamt of having.  Sitting with the altos at 16, I would have never have imagined still having breakfast with these girls, being grandmas together and especially, providing the opportunity for other 16 year olds to find their sole mates.  I am thankful that everything I know I learned from watching, performing in and directing musicals.   How long does it takes to get from Buffalo to Fredonia?  The entire score of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat .Thank you very much!

I am so thankful for this little 3 1/2 year old guy who calls me Gaga.  I can't believe the happiness I feel when I am with him.  I don't think I could have made it through this past year with out him. When things are at their worst, his laugh, his hugs and his little snarky sense of humor (already) makes me so thankful that he and all my kids, for that matter, are so close.  Close as in where we live and close in our hearts.  I am thankful my kids are so close to each other too.  I was not close to my sister growing up but I don't know what I would do with out her now.  With everything we are going through, our coffee getaways are better than any therapy session. I know she would say "the same to you"

I am thankful that after about 30 years, I was reunited with my friend Tommy  because it was only a short time after that  reunion that he passed away.  I am thankful for that brief time and that when the temperature drops I will always say "Brrrrritney Sprears it's cold outside" in his honor. I miss him everyday.  I also miss my sister in law, who was also taken way too soon. I miss her terribly, but I will always remember something she said as well.  In her last days I remember her saying that she had the "perfect life". I was taken aback by that at first. For years she battled cancer among other things and her life was not easy looking from the outside...but to her, it was perfect and I don't think she would mind at all if I borrowed her words.

A lot of shit has happened recently, I laugh a lot, I cry a lot.  I am hurt  by some people but there are those I adore. I lose my shit more than I'd like to admit. I am sometimes so tired that I can't even see straight, but I will always stay for "just one more" beer.  Sometimes stupid things like money issues get me down but I also know more that anyone that the best things in life aren't things....so as I prepare for an exhausting week of family and friends ..... I am thankful to be aggravated , overwhelmed, hysterical, bone weary, full of food, full of gratitude and  full of joy.
To quote my guardian angel..,".I am thankful for my Perfect Life".....just saying

Six Degrees of Jubilation

Someone recently asked me when the next installment of MJust Sayin was going to be ready.  I thought long and hard before I sarcastically answered "when I have something happy to write about".  I have been in a slump lately...a rut ...or what is known (to a chosen few) as the LIFE TROUGH.  Now everyone is probably well aware of my family  health situation,  but that being said, I have been very negative lately. It seems like I am in a downward spiral of bitch, (that would be a great  title for a soap opera).  So in a Scarlett O'Hara moment....I made a conscious decision...."with God as my  witness." to be.... happy
I decided that even if I am not in a very happy time of life....I can recall the things that make me happy...go ahead say it  "go to your happy place".  Now I am generally a positive, glass half full type of person. I really am...I remember being told one time that "not everything is funny, you know"...but....it kind of is... for the most part anyway.  So being that person, I have found a bunch of things that make me happy.  Some are big, grand events that I look back on and some are simple little things that most people don't even notice.  The births of my children/grandchild/nieces & nephews (related or unrelated) of course make up a chunk of the happiest moments ever. That is kind of what they call a given.   But there were certain days that even when I was in it, I knew... this is an "as good as it gets" moment.

 About six years ago, my three kids and I piled in a car at midnight and drove through the night to New York City to see a friend of ours in a real live Broadway show.  We went to this awesome show along with our favorite  NYC Goomadi. Like that wasn't enough to make a memory or two  After the show we made our way to the stage door .  There was a crowd of adoring fans which we maneuvered through and caught the eye of the guy at the door.  We said who we were and he said ..."right this way" and escorted us in, much to the hatred of the mere peons on the street... I remember saying "Hey we are finally as cool as we are always pretending to be". We met some of the cast and went to dinner with our Broadway star friend.  Walking down the street on that warm July evening, I knew...this is a good day, one that I will always remember as pretty close to perfect. 

Many of my happy moments are NYC/NJ based.  Sitting on a roof top with good friends having Mojitos...watching my kids see the ocean for the first time and then years later, laughing uncontrollably while we got knocked around by the waves . going backstage at Saturday Night Live,  having a handsome waiter comment on my smile as he took a picture of us.  Those are all good 'go to" moments to savor on the drive home from the cancer ward of a hospital.

Five  years ago I directed my first musical.  Godspell... and I honestly did not know what the fuck I was doing.  For some reason taking on this task at the same time we were planning a wedding (show- one weekend/wedding the next) seemed like a perfectly sane thing to do..Now I've never smoked crack, but I would image it's the feeling of pure joy and intense fear and having really no true control over anything yet watching it all unfold in front of you.  For the record both events were wildly successful and I look back on that time with true happiness as they both were interwoven and life changing.  On the first day of rehearsal, I suggested to this group of strangers, that it would be so cool if everyone came to the church for the wedding and surprise my daughter/our choreographer with one of  the songs from the show that she had also chosen for the service.(..Godspell....God....church,.... see how this all fits.)
Fast forward six weeks later and in the back of the church sat these once strangers, now "family".  I know the thought was  "how sweet they came to the wedding" but when the song started and these kids stood up and filled the church with gorgeous harmonies  ...it was honestly one of the most incredible moments and the beautiful, surprised look on my daughter's face is burned in my mind and heart forever.
 So when I find myself looking for  some cute hats and pretty scarves to bring to my mom who now lost all her hair....I think of the song "All Good Gifts" and that amazing summer.

Now its not all about good times and great days....little things make me happy too. Like making all the lights on Sheridan Drive...looking at a digital clock and the time is your birthday (3:31 in case anyone forgot)  or when its 12:34 ....it's crazy  how many time I look at the clock right at that 1234 time....day or night, it always makes me smile. ( yeah, I'm kind of low maintenance)
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Working in a restaurant offers moments of happy ....sometimes.  Of course getting a giant tip is great, but bear with me here. After a crazy shitstorm night (like yesterday) when the place is packed and you are actually questioning your existence, you get through it with a strange feeling of accomplishment and a pocket filled with wads of money.  You'd think that is good enough ...but as you go to set up the place,  that looks like Viet Nam,  you grab a  random hand full of silver ware and napkins etc, and just so happens you grabbed the EXACT NUMBER of everything you need,  I LOVE THAT.  That makes me so happy in a sad way that only other freaky, Anthony Bourdain lovin' restaurant people will understand.

So I guess I just got buried in all the negative things that were happening  that I forgot about all the "good gift around us."..simple or not they keep me going and bring me back to that happy place. Like.......

A curtain call...when the applause swells and someone "woos" (it actually makes me teary eyed)

When my grandson decided to call me Gaga..

 True Laughter.... I heard this line somewhere "the moment your laugh becomes a chuckle"

When someone gets your references...doesn't everyone know who Rocky Dennis is....I guess not.

That first kiss....

Zipping up a pair of jeans that didn't always fit

...and on the other hand,,,, CAKE!!!!

Happy Hour ( duh it's right in the name)

A good shower, not your everyday one but a real good one, like after a day at the beach  

The right pair of shoes 

...and to come full circle...someone asking me when my next blog is because they really look forward to it.

Yeah, it's been quite a year or so and I don't know how much longer this will continue but these little escapes into "happy land" remind me how blessed I am. While I'm on the subject I'm a little annoyed at how people are totally abusing the word "blessed" these days...just because your life seems to be going your way at the moment- it doesn't always warrant a hashtag ...."got what I wanted#blessed."    Seriously, think about what it really means to be blessed.   Hmmmm, I guess this might be a little foreshadowing,  I mean if I can write about all the things that make happy, you know damn well I am ready to list all the shit that fucking PISSES ME OFF.....just sayin