I decided that even if I am not in a very happy time of life....I can recall the things that make me happy...go ahead say it "go to your happy place". Now I am generally a positive, glass half full type of person. I really am...I remember being told one time that "not everything is funny, you know"...but....it kind of is... for the most part anyway. So being that person, I have found a bunch of things that make me happy. Some are big, grand events that I look back on and some are simple little things that most people don't even notice. The births of my children/grandchild/nieces & nephews (related or unrelated) of course make up a chunk of the happiest moments ever. That is kind of what they call a given. But there were certain days that even when I was in it, I knew... this is an "as good as it gets" moment.
About six years ago, my three kids and I piled in a car at midnight and drove through the night to New York City to see a friend of ours in a real live Broadway show. We went to this awesome show along with our favorite NYC Goomadi. Like that wasn't enough to make a memory or two After the show we made our way to the stage door . There was a crowd of adoring fans which we maneuvered through and caught the eye of the guy at the door. We said who we were and he said ..."right this way" and escorted us in, much to the hatred of the mere peons on the street... I remember saying "Hey we are finally as cool as we are always pretending to be". We met some of the cast and went to dinner with our Broadway star friend. Walking down the street on that warm July evening, I knew...this is a good day, one that I will always remember as pretty close to perfect.
Many of my happy moments are NYC/NJ based. Sitting on a roof top with good friends having Mojitos...watching my kids see the ocean for the first time and then years later, laughing uncontrollably while we got knocked around by the waves . going backstage at Saturday Night Live, having a handsome waiter comment on my smile as he took a picture of us. Those are all good 'go to" moments to savor on the drive home from the cancer ward of a hospital.
Five years ago I directed my first musical. Godspell... and I honestly did not know what the fuck I was doing. For some reason taking on this task at the same time we were planning a wedding (show- one weekend/wedding the next) seemed like a perfectly sane thing to do..Now I've never smoked crack, but I would image it's the feeling of pure joy and intense fear and having really no true control over anything yet watching it all unfold in front of you. For the record both events were wildly successful and I look back on that time with true happiness as they both were interwoven and life changing. On the first day of rehearsal, I suggested to this group of strangers, that it would be so cool if everyone came to the church for the wedding and surprise my daughter/our choreographer with one of the songs from the show that she had also chosen for the service.(..Godspell....God....church,.... see how this all fits.)
Fast forward six weeks later and in the back of the church sat these once strangers, now "family". I know the thought was "how sweet they came to the wedding" but when the song started and these kids stood up and filled the church with gorgeous harmonies ...it was honestly one of the most incredible moments and the beautiful, surprised look on my daughter's face is burned in my mind and heart forever.
So when I find myself looking for some cute hats and pretty scarves to bring to my mom who now lost all her hair....I think of the song "All Good Gifts" and that amazing summer.
Now its not all about good times and great days....little things make me happy too. Like making all the lights on Sheridan Drive...looking at a digital clock and the time is your birthday (3:31 in case anyone forgot) or when its 12:34 ....it's crazy how many time I look at the clock right at that 1234 time....day or night, it always makes me smile. ( yeah, I'm kind of low maintenance)
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Working in a restaurant offers moments of happy ....sometimes. Of course getting a giant tip is great, but bear with me here. After a crazy shitstorm night (like yesterday) when the place is packed and you are actually questioning your existence, you get through it with a strange feeling of accomplishment and a pocket filled with wads of money. You'd think that is good enough ...but as you go to set up the place, that looks like Viet Nam, you grab a random hand full of silver ware and napkins etc, and just so happens you grabbed the EXACT NUMBER of everything you need, I LOVE THAT. That makes me so happy in a sad way that only other freaky, Anthony Bourdain lovin' restaurant people will understand.
So I guess I just got buried in all the negative things that were happening that I forgot about all the "good gift around us."..simple or not they keep me going and bring me back to that happy place. Like.......
A curtain call...when the applause swells and someone "woos" (it actually makes me teary eyed)
When my grandson decided to call me Gaga..
True Laughter.... I heard this line somewhere "the moment your laugh becomes a chuckle"
When someone gets your references...doesn't everyone know who Rocky Dennis is....I guess not.
That first kiss....
Zipping up a pair of jeans that didn't always fit
...and on the other hand,,,, CAKE!!!!
Happy Hour ( duh it's right in the name)
A good shower, not your everyday one but a real good one, like after a day at the beach
The right pair of shoes
...and to come full circle...someone asking me when my next blog is because they really look forward to it.Yeah, it's been quite a year or so and I don't know how much longer this will continue but these little escapes into "happy land" remind me how blessed I am. While I'm on the subject I'm a little annoyed at how people are totally abusing the word "blessed" these days...just because your life seems to be going your way at the moment- it doesn't always warrant a hashtag ...."got what I wanted#blessed." Seriously, think about what it really means to be blessed. Hmmmm, I guess this might be a little foreshadowing, I mean if I can write about all the things that make happy, you know damn well I am ready to list all the shit that fucking PISSES ME OFF.....just sayin
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