Saturday, January 25, 2014
MJust Sayin: Eat, Pray, Crush....
MJust Sayin: Eat, Pray, Crush....: .....Candy Crush that is. I must apologize to my faithful readers who are not familiar or are not fans of the game CANDY CRUSH SAGA. O....
Eat, Pray, Crush....
.....Candy Crush that is.
I must apologize to my faithful readers who are not familiar or are not fans of the game CANDY CRUSH SAGA.
O. M. G!
I started playing this little game on my phone while I was sitting in waiting rooms last year. I remember really enjoying that Bedazzled or Bejeweled game or what ever it was called. It was mindless and relaxing but fulfilled that little bit of competitiveness I have. I can hear you all laughing at me for calling myself a little competitive. That is like saying that they "kind of swear" in the Wolf of Wall Street. Anyway- this Candy game, I thought was the same kind of thing...line up three colors ...get points...AND it's candy! Doctor appointment after doctor appointment, waiting room after waiting room I would sit and play level after level and I would wonder "what did people do before this game"...would they just sit there...look at outdated magazines...God forbid...Talk? I mean it was mindless and really did help pass the time....and then some
"So you want to know what the doctor said?"
"yeah yeah yeah....one second... I have 4 moves .....DAMMIT!!!!!"
Okay I'm only kind of exaggerating, kind of. I guess I have a little bit of an addictive personality ( see above analogy).
As time went on, the game got more popular and more and more people I knew were playing this silly game. I would see friends that I haven't had contact with for years sending me a request for a "life" or a chance to advance to a new level. I had visions of these people sniffing and all shifty-like
"can you help me out man...I need one more life...c'mon we're old friends right?"
Once I realized how far this game had gone and how many people it had in its Candy Clutches, I felt like I could talk about it ...it was less a "dirty little secret " and more of a "guilty pleasure"
It was then I realized...Candy Crush is Life.
Now let me explain:
All kinds of people play this game. I can see from my Face Book friends list - young, old, rich poor. It is like the great equalizer! No matter where you are in the game, you are trying to get ahead. I see people on lower levels and higher levels and basically we are all out for the same outcome. Getting ahead. In life when you perceive someone as "having it all" and then you talk to them only to find they are the same as you...wanting certain things,- material and non-material things. Everything is relative ...no matter how much you have (money, standings, influence etc.) you never seem like you have enough. How can someone on Level 245 be complaining I ask you??
The frustration of life gets to you no matter what level you are on.
Sometimes it's smooth sailing ....you are pounding out reds and blues, striped candy , wrapped ones bang, bang, bang....next level please...I am the Queen of All Candy I am!
But then ..you get stuck. Stuck for days weeks...what the fuck! I will never get off this stinkin' level...what am I doing wrong? Like life...right? Things are going so awesome (and if you are Italian you are looking over your shoulder never quite enjoying it ), yet appreciating that life is good! Job is good, family -good and you find a $ 20 in your coat pocket or you get a refund check- weather is beautiful on your vacation- you are Leonardo on the front of the Titanic!!!
But then you get stuck! Job- sucks...you are mad at your entire family...."I thought I had a $20 in my wallet"..."I owe how much?" I just got my period!!!...of course it's raining
What the hell...who did I piss off? You kind of get stuck on a level...and you run on the hope that things will get better . Then this happens.. you see whole bunch of your friends there to give you a "life". One of those lives give you what you need to beat that level and move on. Occasionally someone in your life will give you a kind word, the hand you need , an invite for coffee or a drink and you get "unstuck" enough to move to your next "level".... which of course will be either smooth or most likely frustrating.(hey I'm Italian)
Your friends will get stuck too remember, so you need to give them a life when they ask...it's only fair! Their level may be more frustrating than you think. Those guys that seem so cool, they don't need your help do they? You bet your Goobers and Raisinettes they do! There is nothing better than hearing "I'm so glad you called" and knowing you may have made someone's life a little sweeter.
Of course we all know the feeling of - it's not fair...you kind of feel like a 4 year old when you say it - but really, it's not fair- and not for the reason that some people have more than others, that's true but that's not exactly what I mean. I'm playing a level and I think "I got this- no problem"-
I do the same thing I always do...but why didn't that big candy covered chocolate ball bust through everything like it always does! Uh yeah...life's like that... You work and work and they close your school and now the same thing happens to my sister's school (although it seems like their big chocolate candy is going to do the trick and hopefully keep their school open) You eat the right things and work out and usually you lose a pound or two....but not lately...I am doing the same thing I always do but I can't zip my jeans...what gives.??
Life's not fair - this game is certainly not fair! So, you try a new move and you give it a shot and zip goes your jeans! Hey whaddya know, you're on to the next level!
But wait, if that doesn't work, they ( who are they?) try to get you to BUY your way out of your failure,...don't do it!!! - although I have to admit, I have considered it at a weaker moment. I never have done it though, because I couldn't figure out how to do it or mainly I was too lazy to get my credit card. I suppose it's like buying your self something when you are depressed- you know, "retail therapy" . It doesn't really work...it's a quick fix.
Lately, I haven't been playing a whole lot of Candy Crush ....it was getting too frustrating. I took a break- I couldn't stand the sight of that creepy old timey guy and that little girl you see when you "fail" at a level. - I did start recently playing again, you know for research for this blog..."Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in"
Since I just quoted Michael Corleone I'll get extra Italian on you and say
La vita รจ dolce - Life is Sweet!
Life is sweet as Candy- Crush!
So follow these rules of the game-
I must apologize to my faithful readers who are not familiar or are not fans of the game CANDY CRUSH SAGA.
O. M. G!
I started playing this little game on my phone while I was sitting in waiting rooms last year. I remember really enjoying that Bedazzled or Bejeweled game or what ever it was called. It was mindless and relaxing but fulfilled that little bit of competitiveness I have. I can hear you all laughing at me for calling myself a little competitive. That is like saying that they "kind of swear" in the Wolf of Wall Street. Anyway- this Candy game, I thought was the same kind of thing...line up three colors ...get points...AND it's candy! Doctor appointment after doctor appointment, waiting room after waiting room I would sit and play level after level and I would wonder "what did people do before this game"...would they just sit there...look at outdated magazines...God forbid...Talk? I mean it was mindless and really did help pass the time....and then some
"So you want to know what the doctor said?"
"yeah yeah yeah....one second... I have 4 moves .....DAMMIT!!!!!"
Okay I'm only kind of exaggerating, kind of. I guess I have a little bit of an addictive personality ( see above analogy).
As time went on, the game got more popular and more and more people I knew were playing this silly game. I would see friends that I haven't had contact with for years sending me a request for a "life" or a chance to advance to a new level. I had visions of these people sniffing and all shifty-like
"can you help me out man...I need one more life...c'mon we're old friends right?"
Once I realized how far this game had gone and how many people it had in its Candy Clutches, I felt like I could talk about it ...it was less a "dirty little secret " and more of a "guilty pleasure"
It was then I realized...Candy Crush is Life.
Now let me explain:
All kinds of people play this game. I can see from my Face Book friends list - young, old, rich poor. It is like the great equalizer! No matter where you are in the game, you are trying to get ahead. I see people on lower levels and higher levels and basically we are all out for the same outcome. Getting ahead. In life when you perceive someone as "having it all" and then you talk to them only to find they are the same as you...wanting certain things,- material and non-material things. Everything is relative ...no matter how much you have (money, standings, influence etc.) you never seem like you have enough. How can someone on Level 245 be complaining I ask you??
The frustration of life gets to you no matter what level you are on.
Sometimes it's smooth sailing ....you are pounding out reds and blues, striped candy , wrapped ones bang, bang, bang....next level please...I am the Queen of All Candy I am!
But then ..you get stuck. Stuck for days weeks...what the fuck! I will never get off this stinkin' level...what am I doing wrong? Like life...right? Things are going so awesome (and if you are Italian you are looking over your shoulder never quite enjoying it ), yet appreciating that life is good! Job is good, family -good and you find a $ 20 in your coat pocket or you get a refund check- weather is beautiful on your vacation- you are Leonardo on the front of the Titanic!!!
But then you get stuck! Job- sucks...you are mad at your entire family...."I thought I had a $20 in my wallet"..."I owe how much?" I just got my period!!!...of course it's raining
What the hell...who did I piss off? You kind of get stuck on a level...and you run on the hope that things will get better . Then this happens.. you see whole bunch of your friends there to give you a "life". One of those lives give you what you need to beat that level and move on. Occasionally someone in your life will give you a kind word, the hand you need , an invite for coffee or a drink and you get "unstuck" enough to move to your next "level".... which of course will be either smooth or most likely frustrating.(hey I'm Italian)
Your friends will get stuck too remember, so you need to give them a life when they ask...it's only fair! Their level may be more frustrating than you think. Those guys that seem so cool, they don't need your help do they? You bet your Goobers and Raisinettes they do! There is nothing better than hearing "I'm so glad you called" and knowing you may have made someone's life a little sweeter.
Of course we all know the feeling of - it's not fair...you kind of feel like a 4 year old when you say it - but really, it's not fair- and not for the reason that some people have more than others, that's true but that's not exactly what I mean. I'm playing a level and I think "I got this- no problem"-
I do the same thing I always do...but why didn't that big candy covered chocolate ball bust through everything like it always does! Uh yeah...life's like that... You work and work and they close your school and now the same thing happens to my sister's school (although it seems like their big chocolate candy is going to do the trick and hopefully keep their school open) You eat the right things and work out and usually you lose a pound or two....but not lately...I am doing the same thing I always do but I can't zip my jeans...what gives.??
Life's not fair - this game is certainly not fair! So, you try a new move and you give it a shot and zip goes your jeans! Hey whaddya know, you're on to the next level!
But wait, if that doesn't work, they ( who are they?) try to get you to BUY your way out of your failure,...don't do it!!! - although I have to admit, I have considered it at a weaker moment. I never have done it though, because I couldn't figure out how to do it or mainly I was too lazy to get my credit card. I suppose it's like buying your self something when you are depressed- you know, "retail therapy" . It doesn't really work...it's a quick fix.
Lately, I haven't been playing a whole lot of Candy Crush ....it was getting too frustrating. I took a break- I couldn't stand the sight of that creepy old timey guy and that little girl you see when you "fail" at a level. - I did start recently playing again, you know for research for this blog..."Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in"
Since I just quoted Michael Corleone I'll get extra Italian on you and say
La vita รจ dolce - Life is Sweet!
Life is sweet as Candy- Crush!
So follow these rules of the game-
- Be happy and enjoy each level you are at, but never stop trying to be better!
- Help out your friends and be ready to accept when someone wants to help you out as well!
- Life's not always fair - but if you keep trying new avenues, you may make find it isn't fair for a reason and you need to discover a new way to get to your new level!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
"I got through all of last year...and I'm here"
During my Christmas break, in between the last minute shopping, the eating, the decorating, the eating, the cooking and the eating and the family gatherings which consisted of, you guessed it, I sat down and watched a documentary on Stephen Sondheim. I love him and usually when I hear a song from a musical that I really adore, it's by Stephen Sondheim. I didn't realize how many musicals he wrote the lyrics for- including "Gypsy", which is the musical I chose for this summer's production. The title of this first blog of 2014 comes the musical "Follies" by my friend Stephen. It's a song about endurance called "I'm Still Here" and that particular line just slapped me in the face as I was sitting on my couch....eating.
I know that everyone looks back at their year and says either "what a good year" or "well, that sucked." As usual, I fell somewhere in between as that same song calls "good times and bum times". That sounds about right. We started last year with good new - an all clear/no cancer from the doctor and it seemed like it will be business as usual. Doesn't everyone have to sweat out two PET SCANs per year when you walk around all day with your heart beating a mile a minute until you get the results? It is horrifying and reassuring at the same time. It's a part of my NEW NORMAL. The only way I can describe my New Normal is that I have taken up residency just outside of my comfort zone. The events of last year set me up in this nice little neighborhood on the corner of Awkward and Anxious and it looks like I'm staying.
When my job of 20 odd years ended last year, my colleagues and I were scattered through the district and placed in new schools. I was one of the "lucky" ones that was put in a completely new job. We all agreed the awkwardness of "where's this" "where's that" and "how do you do it at this school" and most importantly "where's the lunch room" (and bathroom for that matter) took a while to get over. On top of that I had to learn a whole new job with a whole new set of responsibilities and tasks that would have been a dream...maybe ten years ago or at the very least if it were my choice to leave my nice little job in Comfortville.
Well it wasn't so what the hell, right? Was this going to defeat me ...I mean have I ever turned down a challenge.
Did I turn down that Buff State frat boy's challenge to beer chugging contest?....No
Did I win?....No
Did excuse myself and throw up in the ladies room?....You bet I did.
So here it is years later and I am asked once again to a prove myself as someone who is up to the challenge.
Did I accept it? ....Yes
Am I doing okay?....I think so.
Did I thrown up in the ladies room? No, because I wasn't sure where it was.
That's a part of my New Normal and pretty soon it will just be normal, I hope.
It is unfortunate that I have to say I had to put my ailing 15 year old dog to sleep this past week and I am truly devastated. We had her since she was just six weeks old. We all piled into the car and drove out to East Shitville (this was before GPS) and rescued her from this disgusting trailer where they must have been burning a dog poop scented candle. It was so gross! It was a "go wait in the car kids" type of place where "lady" handed us the dog's AKC papers (for real?) carefully as to not burn them with her lit cigarette that she never put down once. So we took our little Cosette home, fleas and all which I am positive she caught from that lady. She was our lovely little pet until about 6 months ago or so when she just wasn't anymore. I read so much on the subject of when do you know it's time, and they all said essentially the same thing, : when they are not enjoying their life as a dog- it's already too late. The "soul went out of her eyes" was a phrase that stuck with me. So we started this new year with the actually not so tough decision of letting her sleep.... So my New Normal does not include my Cosette.
Last year was filled with caring for an ailing dog as well as an ailing Mom (please know that not at all do I mean to suggest they are on the same level but someday I will talk about the similarities,) Since August, my life consisted of hospital visits and chemo and the feeling that we are all one doctor appointment away from a life altering situation. But you get through it and her exhaustion and dizziness and wigs and how she has no eye lashes. well that's part of conversation in the New Normal.
I am also now preparing my self for an empty nest situation as my remaining kids that are home are moving out into a house my daughter purchased and I am okay with that.....no my jaws aren't clenched....that's how I always talk. But seriously, its a great thing and I am elated...it's time! None of my kids went away to college so I never had to deal with the separation. I provided the dorm life experience though ....drunk the most of the time, staying up late watching dumb movies, eating Ramen Noodles, gaining the Freshman 15....but enough about me.
Scary is it is...it will be the first time in a lot of years that it will be just me and him. Scary because we are kind of different people in the New Normal. I now sweat when it is -10 degrees outside. I can heat up leftovers with some of my hot flashes and fall asleep if I am sitting still for more than 5 minutes aaaand that's my normal now. It is also the normal of most of my friends which we laughed about the other day at our breakfast/lunch /are they ever going stop laughing and leave. As usual, after meeting with true friends, I leave feeling totally empowered as well as exhausted from laughing.
New Normal is where I feel like I handle things with a new outlook, I wouldn't call it maturity, anyone who knows me wouldn't call it maturity either. I was told one time I am like a kidadult ...one word .
I guess it's life experience and that the only thing you can count on is change. Sometimes bad but you know what, sometimes good.
In this New Normal I decided to give up my restaurant job for the time being to better handle my crazy schedule of work and family and musicals. For the first time in many years I won't have change for a fifty in my purse or "stripper money" as my daughter used to refer to it in front of the grocery store check out people thank you very much.
So I got through all of last year's trials and tribulations and the eminent changes I could see coming. But I am, as always, optimistic....how can you be anything but optimistic in January
Let's get back to Mr. Sondheim, who I will get to know quite well as "everything comes up roses" this summer. From that documentary I learned that he also wrote the lyrics for my favorite musical "West Side Story", I did not know that! To quote him again ( because everything goes back to musicals....do you not know that by now)
Could it be? Yes it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
I love it...of course that whole show ends up just horribly but that's besides the point. What an uplifting song though and I urge you to listen to it and you will feel the power... the feeling that "there's miracle due." It is so amazing to me that someone wrote that song (duh Stephen Sondheim) over 50 years ago and today it is relevant to me and I hope for some of you too. It's a great song with hope and promise, but alas it is sung by Tony, a Jet and with my skin tone and black hair...I would have totally been a Shark....just sayin'
I know that everyone looks back at their year and says either "what a good year" or "well, that sucked." As usual, I fell somewhere in between as that same song calls "good times and bum times". That sounds about right. We started last year with good new - an all clear/no cancer from the doctor and it seemed like it will be business as usual. Doesn't everyone have to sweat out two PET SCANs per year when you walk around all day with your heart beating a mile a minute until you get the results? It is horrifying and reassuring at the same time. It's a part of my NEW NORMAL. The only way I can describe my New Normal is that I have taken up residency just outside of my comfort zone. The events of last year set me up in this nice little neighborhood on the corner of Awkward and Anxious and it looks like I'm staying.
When my job of 20 odd years ended last year, my colleagues and I were scattered through the district and placed in new schools. I was one of the "lucky" ones that was put in a completely new job. We all agreed the awkwardness of "where's this" "where's that" and "how do you do it at this school" and most importantly "where's the lunch room" (and bathroom for that matter) took a while to get over. On top of that I had to learn a whole new job with a whole new set of responsibilities and tasks that would have been a dream...maybe ten years ago or at the very least if it were my choice to leave my nice little job in Comfortville.
Well it wasn't so what the hell, right? Was this going to defeat me ...I mean have I ever turned down a challenge.
Did I turn down that Buff State frat boy's challenge to beer chugging contest?....No
Did I win?....No
Did excuse myself and throw up in the ladies room?....You bet I did.
So here it is years later and I am asked once again to a prove myself as someone who is up to the challenge.
Did I accept it? ....Yes
Am I doing okay?....I think so.
Did I thrown up in the ladies room? No, because I wasn't sure where it was.
That's a part of my New Normal and pretty soon it will just be normal, I hope.
It is unfortunate that I have to say I had to put my ailing 15 year old dog to sleep this past week and I am truly devastated. We had her since she was just six weeks old. We all piled into the car and drove out to East Shitville (this was before GPS) and rescued her from this disgusting trailer where they must have been burning a dog poop scented candle. It was so gross! It was a "go wait in the car kids" type of place where "lady" handed us the dog's AKC papers (for real?) carefully as to not burn them with her lit cigarette that she never put down once. So we took our little Cosette home, fleas and all which I am positive she caught from that lady. She was our lovely little pet until about 6 months ago or so when she just wasn't anymore. I read so much on the subject of when do you know it's time, and they all said essentially the same thing, : when they are not enjoying their life as a dog- it's already too late. The "soul went out of her eyes" was a phrase that stuck with me. So we started this new year with the actually not so tough decision of letting her sleep.... So my New Normal does not include my Cosette.
Last year was filled with caring for an ailing dog as well as an ailing Mom (please know that not at all do I mean to suggest they are on the same level but someday I will talk about the similarities,) Since August, my life consisted of hospital visits and chemo and the feeling that we are all one doctor appointment away from a life altering situation. But you get through it and her exhaustion and dizziness and wigs and how she has no eye lashes. well that's part of conversation in the New Normal.
I am also now preparing my self for an empty nest situation as my remaining kids that are home are moving out into a house my daughter purchased and I am okay with that.....no my jaws aren't clenched....that's how I always talk. But seriously, its a great thing and I am elated...it's time! None of my kids went away to college so I never had to deal with the separation. I provided the dorm life experience though ....drunk the most of the time, staying up late watching dumb movies, eating Ramen Noodles, gaining the Freshman 15....but enough about me.
Scary is it is...it will be the first time in a lot of years that it will be just me and him. Scary because we are kind of different people in the New Normal. I now sweat when it is -10 degrees outside. I can heat up leftovers with some of my hot flashes and fall asleep if I am sitting still for more than 5 minutes aaaand that's my normal now. It is also the normal of most of my friends which we laughed about the other day at our breakfast/lunch /are they ever going stop laughing and leave. As usual, after meeting with true friends, I leave feeling totally empowered as well as exhausted from laughing.
New Normal is where I feel like I handle things with a new outlook, I wouldn't call it maturity, anyone who knows me wouldn't call it maturity either. I was told one time I am like a kidadult ...one word .
I guess it's life experience and that the only thing you can count on is change. Sometimes bad but you know what, sometimes good.
In this New Normal I decided to give up my restaurant job for the time being to better handle my crazy schedule of work and family and musicals. For the first time in many years I won't have change for a fifty in my purse or "stripper money" as my daughter used to refer to it in front of the grocery store check out people thank you very much.
So I got through all of last year's trials and tribulations and the eminent changes I could see coming. But I am, as always, optimistic....how can you be anything but optimistic in January
Let's get back to Mr. Sondheim, who I will get to know quite well as "everything comes up roses" this summer. From that documentary I learned that he also wrote the lyrics for my favorite musical "West Side Story", I did not know that! To quote him again ( because everything goes back to musicals....do you not know that by now)
Could it be? Yes it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
I love it...of course that whole show ends up just horribly but that's besides the point. What an uplifting song though and I urge you to listen to it and you will feel the power... the feeling that "there's miracle due." It is so amazing to me that someone wrote that song (duh Stephen Sondheim) over 50 years ago and today it is relevant to me and I hope for some of you too. It's a great song with hope and promise, but alas it is sung by Tony, a Jet and with my skin tone and black hair...I would have totally been a Shark....just sayin'
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