Back in 2013 or was it a couple weeks ago, there was this big charity concert with Lady Gaga and a bunch of performers including The Rolling Stones. It was pretty cool, they did a zoom-like concert and it was funny because three out of the four screens were all black... for effect, I think because they came on one by one. It seemed to me it was of a bunch of 70-year-olds trying to figure out how to get the damn video and audio to work- but nevertheless, they sang my favorite song , “You can’t always get what you want ........you get what you need.” Great song choice and of course it got me thinking of how much I really have. I’ve seen memes all over the place, but the one that stuck with me was the one that said “when the dust settles, we will find out how little we need and how much we actually have” or something like that.
Now being Sicilian, we were bred to be able to live with only what we needed instead of what we wanted. I mean if we had everything we wanted, we’d be looking over our shoulders our whole lives waiting for someone to put the “Molokio” on us and take it all the way. We grew up kind of modestly, we never went on big vacations, we never had expensive things or fancysmancy clothes. (Google “Plain Pocket Jeans” from Sears ...I wore those in a world of Levi’s) but we had what we needed. Aside from being distanced from my grandchildren, my children, my family and dear friends (and possibly restaurants,) I’ve kind of settled into this new way of simpler life. That being said, when the time is right, I will RUN to DisneyLand/World and wrap my arms around a face masked Mickey Mouse and gladly buy another over priced Minnie Mouse coffee mug. Those recent Disney trips were a long time coming in my life and I’m happy to have all those memories if I never get there again ...but I really really want to - when it’s safe, Disney safe, which means those little Cinderella mice better get busy cleaning and disinfecting.
Now that I’ve settled in to this life style, I have to say if my husband makes one more FUCKING glass of Kool Aid in a plastic cup and stirs it a freaking million times and leaves the spoon on the counter....well, I can not be responsible for my actions. I would be justifiable homicide if you heard the sound of the stirring...the STIRRING. It’s like nails on a chalkboard if the chalkboard were in hell and the nails were covered in tinfoil and we were all on fire...GET IT?
<big exhale> Since I’m on a roll... People on tv can stay saying “ Due to COVID -19” or “In these uncertain times”.... we get it , is there anyone in the world who doesn’t get it ..? We’re 100 weeks in for God’s sake. The people who are wondering why things are closed and cancelled are probably the same people who are adding Lysol to their coffee.
This feels great... And enough with that State Farm commercial where they sing ....and we’ll rise up...” at first it made me tear eyed ....now every time I hear it I wan to put my wrinkly, dried skinned fist through the screen ...especially when it’s followed by the ear worm inducing flea and tick anthem SERESTO SERESTO SERESTO ... and my personal favorite..Oh Oh Oh Ozempic.
Stop watching TV you say ...shut up, it’s all I have left and all my real (housewives) friends are there.
My friend and fellow Gaga is also there on TV ....with her friends Sirs Paul and Elton and Mick and all the rest of the Stones and I wish they would sing more of their quarantine inspired songs:
Miss You
Shattered
Gimme Shelter (in place)
Time on my Side
Mother’s Little Helper - my personal favorite
Emotional Rescue
Ruby Tuesday (or is it Wednesday?)
19th Nervous Breakdown
And...
HEY (hey) YOU (you) Get off of my Couch
All kidding (?) and virus aside, I do kind of feel like the rest of the world is kind of catching up the way I lived, financially and emotionally. Not being able to do things or afford things because of a job loss or a layoff was kind of our reality when we were raising our children. All too well, I remember what it’s like not being able to go anywhere or do anything and making do with in our own family. I think we are all so close because of it, at least I hope that’s what came out of it, and it will again.
Also, as a hypochondriac and Vice President of the disease of the month club (Yes, Vice President...there are people out there way worse than I,) I have lived in constant fear of a virus or disease sweeping the world since I read Stephen King’s “The Stand” back in the 70s. Seriously, every time I heard of a measles or a whooping cough outbreak on the news, I would curl into a little ball in the corner and worry that this is it .....this is the big one! Well, this is the big one and other than my sporadic fear laden tears and daily mini panic attacks, I am trying to handle the situation in only way I know how. Just live and thank God everyday for our family’s continued health.
A very sweet friend of mine told me a little sweet story of how he heard the birds singing a little extra loud one morning and it hit him that amidst the whole situation, birds were singing because that’s what they do. He continued to say maybe we just need to keep on doing what we do ...just keep on living... keep on loving and keep on taking care of one another.... and hope for better days and a better world....possibly in November ....just sayin’.
Wednesday, April 29, 2020
Monday, April 13, 2020
Be it Ever So Humble
Hello from week whatever of lockdown. I hope everyone is staying healthy and semi sane! We made it through our first major holiday (other than my birthday) in quarantine. It was Easter and I cooked like I had a house full of family- which I didn’t. Even after given some away, we still have a week’s worth of ham- yikes ....a week of JON Hamm - yes, but we got a big ass ham and there is only so much you can do with delicious, delicious ham. There will be a little extra treats in the pet dishes, not to mention it will fancy up my husband’s usual American cheese on white bread sandwich of choice ....don’t get me started on his toddler variety palate.
Yes, the dogs will be very happy. The dogs who by the way, aren’t quite as thrilled as they were the first couple weeks. They were so excited to have us home, now they’re all “ umm, you’re in my spot, again.” They bark like they need to go out so, of course, I get up to let them out and they jump on the couch where I was sitting. Doh! I don’t know what’s worse falling for it way too many times or having a conversation with them .
Yes, the dogs will be very happy. The dogs who by the way, aren’t quite as thrilled as they were the first couple weeks. They were so excited to have us home, now they’re all “ umm, you’re in my spot, again.” They bark like they need to go out so, of course, I get up to let them out and they jump on the couch where I was sitting. Doh! I don’t know what’s worse falling for it way too many times or having a conversation with them .
Me: Do you really need to go out?
Finn: woof
Me : You have food and water, you just want my seat, right?
Finn: woof
As for the cats...well they’re cats, except I found they really know their way around the tv remote. I am taking my glasses on and off to find the number buttons to change the channel and they merely saunter by the thing and MUTE! It’s difficult to follow the breaking news with picture in picture mode....and in Spanish.
That’s how things are going with the non human inhabitants of our house. By the looks of my hair, I think I may fall in that classification. I have entered the support group phase of hair length. It was February when I had my last cut and luckily at that time bought some ESSENTIAL hair color. Also at that time, I signed up for one of those fun little monthly cosmetic bag thing. Now I have been getting little bags of super cute make up ...very funny...well played -cue the Alanis Morrisette song.
Luckily, though, the weather has been semi-nice and we’ve been able to go for walks. I’m not saying I’ve become one of “those people” who brag about how far they’ve walked - I mostly feel the farther I go the more I can eat. That being said I am getting in a shit ton of steps... not quite a day at Disney number, but pretty close.
Being a holiday yesterday, we decided to take a little trip to walk by the water and veer away from our usual path. The amount of people that were there by the water was madden and frankly a little frightening. It wasn’t one or two people spread out walking- there were groups ... WHAT THE FUCK everyone!!!! I mean we are all going crazy, stir and otherwise, but what are you not getting? It’s working, doing what we’re doing -so why would you stop now? Seriously, what the fuck?
Following the rules and doing what is asked of us is tough...I hate it, I do, but it reminds me of when we had to dump a whole bunch of money to get our basement waterproofed. I was there with the dollar sign eyes thinking of all the things we can do with that money...new kitchen cabinets, fix up the back room and the patio...buy shoes . But we did the basement thing for the better of the whole house. It made the structure safer so that it would not crumble. We eventually got our cabinets and back room and patio fix ups, and of course my shoe collection matches the likes of Carrie Bradshaw ( does anyone remember Imelda Marcos anymore.) My point being, if we didn’t do the unpopular thing, the house would have fallen apart. Get it fuckers...it’s going to crumble if we don’t do the right thing!
It’s pretty simple ... I mean I’m no genius (although I did complete the two Sunday crosswords, though I fear they made them easier this week for a little ego boost) but we have to make our way through this so we can be all together again, maybe in a restaurant. Remember those places where they bring you coffee and food you didn’t have to make yourself! Maybe I’ll put some of that fancy make up on.... and then give some one a hug...preferably my kids and mostly my grandchildren !!! Until then I make my own coffee, worry about my kids who are out in the workforce, I will have my scheduled cries, like Holly Hunter in Broadcast News....get banned from the room for yelling and swearing at the TV at very specific news conferences...watch bad movies, wash wash wash my hands and pray and pray until bedtime. Then wake up and enjoy that split second of bliss, before you really wake up and reality hits, and start it all over again. Right now its a rainy, stormy day and I can’t get out for a walk, so I will Gladys Kravits through my day, happy to have a house with a water proofed basement to be safe, not stuck in. We got this friends, we really do and I truly believe we are all going to be okay...at least that was the gist of my last conversation.
Me: do you think we’ll be okay?
Finn: woof
Good enough for me...just saying
Stay safe and healthy and stay the fuck home
Being a holiday yesterday, we decided to take a little trip to walk by the water and veer away from our usual path. The amount of people that were there by the water was madden and frankly a little frightening. It wasn’t one or two people spread out walking- there were groups ... WHAT THE FUCK everyone!!!! I mean we are all going crazy, stir and otherwise, but what are you not getting? It’s working, doing what we’re doing -so why would you stop now? Seriously, what the fuck?
Following the rules and doing what is asked of us is tough...I hate it, I do, but it reminds me of when we had to dump a whole bunch of money to get our basement waterproofed. I was there with the dollar sign eyes thinking of all the things we can do with that money...new kitchen cabinets, fix up the back room and the patio...buy shoes . But we did the basement thing for the better of the whole house. It made the structure safer so that it would not crumble. We eventually got our cabinets and back room and patio fix ups, and of course my shoe collection matches the likes of Carrie Bradshaw ( does anyone remember Imelda Marcos anymore.) My point being, if we didn’t do the unpopular thing, the house would have fallen apart. Get it fuckers...it’s going to crumble if we don’t do the right thing!
It’s pretty simple ... I mean I’m no genius (although I did complete the two Sunday crosswords, though I fear they made them easier this week for a little ego boost) but we have to make our way through this so we can be all together again, maybe in a restaurant. Remember those places where they bring you coffee and food you didn’t have to make yourself! Maybe I’ll put some of that fancy make up on.... and then give some one a hug...preferably my kids and mostly my grandchildren !!! Until then I make my own coffee, worry about my kids who are out in the workforce, I will have my scheduled cries, like Holly Hunter in Broadcast News....get banned from the room for yelling and swearing at the TV at very specific news conferences...watch bad movies, wash wash wash my hands and pray and pray until bedtime. Then wake up and enjoy that split second of bliss, before you really wake up and reality hits, and start it all over again. Right now its a rainy, stormy day and I can’t get out for a walk, so I will Gladys Kravits through my day, happy to have a house with a water proofed basement to be safe, not stuck in. We got this friends, we really do and I truly believe we are all going to be okay...at least that was the gist of my last conversation.
Me: do you think we’ll be okay?
Finn: woof
Good enough for me...just saying
Stay safe and healthy and stay the fuck home
Saturday, April 4, 2020
Once in a While ...a Little Flower
So here we are..closing in on week three or twenty three of this cluster ...and we’re still hanging on...the other end of the rope may be on fire, but we’re hanging on!
While trying to stick to my challenge to “do at least one thing everyday,” I find myself going on long, daily walks. On these walks ...the grounds are kind of muddy and mostly brownish, but every once in a while you see a little flower or better, yet a promise of a flower. It makes me feel like maybe good things are coming? It makes me smile on my walks, my walks with my aforementioned silent partner. Actually, he has gotten a little better at talking-I think he’s sick of listening to me ramble and most likely repeating myself..... and of course, repeating myself. And speaking of getting old.... I usually try to write something in the beginning of the week, but this week was my birthday and it was just freaking weird!
Now anyone who knows me knows that I love birthdays especially MINE! I have claimed the month of March as my birthday month and it kind of caught on. People who I know casually are like.. “oh yeah ‘cause it’s your birthday month....” It all started as kind of a joke because my birthday and my sister’s birthday being a day apart. Growing up we were always clumped together with one celebration and one cake ( twins out there, how do you do it?) and if Easter was close, throw that on there too. Childish and obnoxious you say.... I agree but as I enter my sixth decade of childish, obnoxious behavior, I figure, well why stop now!
Well I anticipated turning sixty in this shitshow we are living in was going to be a double kick in the crotch ... but au contraire. That morning my husband asked me if I was going to get up to which I responded ....as melodramatically as I could “why bother.” Well turned out there was a little party in my drive way...a Tim Horton’s breakfast celebration with my grandchildren. My lawn was decorated and people stopped by all day long to bring well wishes and presents from six feet away. My favorite dinner of lamb chops and crepe brûlée for dessert was delivered and I ended the day with a family parking lot gathering ...I just needed to see their faces all in one spot. It was dreary, cold and rainy and we could’ve hug or anything, but there it was ...a little flower.
So as the weeks go on I am trying to look for little flowers- an unexpected phone call, a text from someone you haven’t heard from in a while ...a parking lot coffee date or a FaceTime with my favorite little faces. People have kind of been stepping up and it’s incredible. The news is horrific, every day, relentless ...but then you see a story of people being good and people doing good...and there’s a little flower.
I’m sitting on my patio swing in the sunshine with my two dogs running and playing without a care in the world...I’m a little jealous of them. I used to say must be nice to be a pet...lay around all day...and now I think we can all agree that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. But even they have their little routines though. Bobby the cat is the morning cat who cuddles with me until I decide I’m ready to face the day. Jacob the cat hears the Jeopardy theme and is my companion for the rest of the evening. My dogs, Finn and Teddie are so happy that I’m home with them and because of my “well, I might
as well eat “ philosophy, are just waiting for me to drop a crumb of food on the floor...dumb dogs. I haven’t dropped a morsel food on the floor since my d cups appeared somewhere between sixth and seventh grade. These pets of mine are my saviors and very accommodating in my need for hugs and I feel like that little girl on Anamaniacs who wants a “pet to hug and squeeze of my very very own” They are definitely flowers in my very unfortunately muddy garden.
I am going to try to keep looking for glimmers of hope or little flowers in these next weeks. I was quite distracted with birthdays and such, but with Easter around the corner- let’s hope for some goodness to bloom and health and security to be reborn...there’s little flower out there- you just have to look for them. While you’re looking, be on the look out for my up coming blog on things that are really REALLY pissing me off - spoiler alert, there will be offensive language.....just sayin’
While trying to stick to my challenge to “do at least one thing everyday,” I find myself going on long, daily walks. On these walks ...the grounds are kind of muddy and mostly brownish, but every once in a while you see a little flower or better, yet a promise of a flower. It makes me feel like maybe good things are coming? It makes me smile on my walks, my walks with my aforementioned silent partner. Actually, he has gotten a little better at talking-I think he’s sick of listening to me ramble and most likely repeating myself..... and of course, repeating myself. And speaking of getting old.... I usually try to write something in the beginning of the week, but this week was my birthday and it was just freaking weird!
Now anyone who knows me knows that I love birthdays especially MINE! I have claimed the month of March as my birthday month and it kind of caught on. People who I know casually are like.. “oh yeah ‘cause it’s your birthday month....” It all started as kind of a joke because my birthday and my sister’s birthday being a day apart. Growing up we were always clumped together with one celebration and one cake ( twins out there, how do you do it?) and if Easter was close, throw that on there too. Childish and obnoxious you say.... I agree but as I enter my sixth decade of childish, obnoxious behavior, I figure, well why stop now!
Well I anticipated turning sixty in this shitshow we are living in was going to be a double kick in the crotch ... but au contraire. That morning my husband asked me if I was going to get up to which I responded ....as melodramatically as I could “why bother.” Well turned out there was a little party in my drive way...a Tim Horton’s breakfast celebration with my grandchildren. My lawn was decorated and people stopped by all day long to bring well wishes and presents from six feet away. My favorite dinner of lamb chops and crepe brûlée for dessert was delivered and I ended the day with a family parking lot gathering ...I just needed to see their faces all in one spot. It was dreary, cold and rainy and we could’ve hug or anything, but there it was ...a little flower.
So as the weeks go on I am trying to look for little flowers- an unexpected phone call, a text from someone you haven’t heard from in a while ...a parking lot coffee date or a FaceTime with my favorite little faces. People have kind of been stepping up and it’s incredible. The news is horrific, every day, relentless ...but then you see a story of people being good and people doing good...and there’s a little flower.
I’m sitting on my patio swing in the sunshine with my two dogs running and playing without a care in the world...I’m a little jealous of them. I used to say must be nice to be a pet...lay around all day...and now I think we can all agree that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. But even they have their little routines though. Bobby the cat is the morning cat who cuddles with me until I decide I’m ready to face the day. Jacob the cat hears the Jeopardy theme and is my companion for the rest of the evening. My dogs, Finn and Teddie are so happy that I’m home with them and because of my “well, I might
as well eat “ philosophy, are just waiting for me to drop a crumb of food on the floor...dumb dogs. I haven’t dropped a morsel food on the floor since my d cups appeared somewhere between sixth and seventh grade. These pets of mine are my saviors and very accommodating in my need for hugs and I feel like that little girl on Anamaniacs who wants a “pet to hug and squeeze of my very very own” They are definitely flowers in my very unfortunately muddy garden.
I am going to try to keep looking for glimmers of hope or little flowers in these next weeks. I was quite distracted with birthdays and such, but with Easter around the corner- let’s hope for some goodness to bloom and health and security to be reborn...there’s little flower out there- you just have to look for them. While you’re looking, be on the look out for my up coming blog on things that are really REALLY pissing me off - spoiler alert, there will be offensive language.....just sayin’
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