Monday, April 13, 2020

Be it Ever So Humble

Hello from week whatever of lockdown. I hope everyone is staying healthy and semi sane! We made it through our first major holiday (other than my birthday) in quarantine. It was Easter and I cooked like I had a house full of family- which I didn’t. Even after given some away, we still have a week’s worth of ham- yikes ....a week of JON Hamm - yes, but we got a big ass ham and there is only so much you can do with delicious, delicious ham. There will be a little extra treats in the pet dishes, not to mention it will fancy up my husband’s usual American cheese on white bread sandwich of choice ....don’t get me started on his toddler variety palate.
Yes, the dogs will be very happy. The dogs who by the way, aren’t quite as thrilled as they were the first couple weeks.  They were so excited to have us home, now they’re all “ umm, you’re in my spot, again.”  They bark like they need to go out so, of course, I get up to let them out and they jump on the couch where I was sitting. Doh!  I don’t know what’s worse falling for it way too many times or having a conversation with them .
Me: Do you really need to go out?
Finn: woof
Me : You have food and water, you just want my seat, right?
Finn: woof
As for the cats...well they’re cats, except I found they really know their way around the tv remote. I am taking my glasses on and off to find the number buttons to change the channel and they merely saunter by the thing and MUTE!  It’s difficult to follow the breaking news with picture in picture mode....and in Spanish.  
That’s how things are going with the non human inhabitants of our house. By the looks of my hair, I think I may fall in that classification.  I have entered the support group phase of hair length.  It was February when I had my last cut and luckily at that time bought some ESSENTIAL hair color.  Also at that time,  I signed up for one of those fun little monthly cosmetic bag thing.  Now I have been getting little bags of  super cute make up ...very funny...well played -cue the Alanis Morrisette song. 
Luckily, though, the weather has been semi-nice and we’ve been able to go for walks. I’m not saying I’ve become one of “those people” who brag about how far they’ve walked -  I mostly feel the farther I go the more I can eat. That being said I am getting in a shit ton of steps... not quite a day at Disney number, but pretty close.
Being a holiday yesterday, we decided to take a little trip to walk by the water  and veer away from our usual path. The amount of people that were there by the water  was madden and frankly a little frightening.  It wasn’t one or two people spread out walking- there were groups ... WHAT THE FUCK everyone!!!! I mean we are all going crazy, stir and otherwise, but what are you not getting?  It’s working, doing what we’re doing -so why would you stop now?  Seriously, what the fuck?
Following the rules and doing what is asked of us is tough...I hate it, I do, but it reminds me of when we had to dump a whole bunch of money to get our basement waterproofed.  I was there with the dollar sign eyes thinking of all the things we can do with that money...new kitchen cabinets, fix up the back room and the patio...buy shoes . But we did the basement thing for the better of the whole house. It made the structure safer so that it would not crumble. We eventually got our cabinets and back room and patio fix ups, and of course my shoe collection matches the likes of Carrie Bradshaw  ( does anyone  remember Imelda Marcos anymore.) My point being, if we didn’t do the unpopular thing, the house would have fallen apart.   Get it fuckers...it’s going to crumble if we don’t do the right thing!
It’s pretty simple  ... I mean I’m no genius (although I did complete the two Sunday crosswords, though I fear they made them easier this week for a little ego boost) but  we have to make our way through this so we can be all together again, maybe in a restaurant.  Remember those places where they bring you coffee and food you didn’t have to make yourself! Maybe I’ll put some of that fancy make up on.... and then give some one a hug...preferably my kids and mostly my grandchildren !!!  Until then I make my own coffee, worry about my kids who are out in the workforce, I will have my scheduled cries, like Holly Hunter in Broadcast News....get banned from the room for yelling and swearing  at the TV at very specific news conferences...watch bad movies,  wash wash wash my hands and pray and pray until bedtime. Then wake up and enjoy that split second of bliss, before you really wake up and reality hits, and start it all over again. Right now its a  rainy, stormy day and I can’t get out for a walk, so I will Gladys Kravits through my day,  happy to have a house with a water proofed basement to be safe, not stuck in. We got this friends, we really do and I truly believe we are all going to be okay...at least that was the gist of my last conversation.
Me: do you think we’ll be okay?
Finn: woof
Good enough for me...just saying
Stay safe and healthy and stay the fuck home 

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