That There’s an RV, Clark...

 If 2020 is teaching us anything, it’s that your plans mean shit....they mean nothing and not in a cool, meaningful John Lennon way, you know, “life happens when you’re busy making plans” type of thing - but a I laugh in your face type of thing. 2020 is that asshole that asks your opinion, let’s you go on and on about a great idea or solution to a problem and then smugly says “NOPE”.

Knowing how many plans have been ruined, weddings, concerts, shows, graduations, birthdays (still mad), we spur of the moment decided to rent one of them RVs and took of for the shore.... with really no plans

Thirty eight years ago....almost to the date, we did a similar thing. We were stupid, crazy honeymooners with a small handful of wedding money ( back then the going rate for a wedding gift was like $20 .....cheapskates.) 

1982 -we took off for Cape Cod.   

2020-we really wanted to stay in the safe tri-state area.

So just like those crazy kids, we were off... 1982 all over again, we even brought protection, but now  it was hand sanitizer and Lysol wipes and this time we got tired of driving and bored ... we pulled over and watched tv which thank God we packed last minute!  Also an RV is cool at this age because when you have to pee every five minutes, you can !  Oh how times have changed!

Now I think I’ve mentioned driving anywhere with my husband is like traveling with freaking Marcel Marceau. Silent !! Out of the corner of my eye I see his arm flailing toward the floor looking for the bag of M&M’s .  Like just ask for them ....you don’t have to say a lot of words...just a freaking letter ...M!!!  Noooooo ....He’d rather take one hand off the wheel ...um, you’re driving a house....10 and 2 Buddy!!!!  

Well now, he has substantial hearing loss (after some prodding, he is going to the doctor but, AFTER vacation....doh) Here’s what that’s like-

GPS lady:  Take exit 4

Me: TAKE EXIT 4 .... 4  EXIT 4

Him: huh?

Me: TAKE THE EXIT !   EXIT 4 ...EXIT 4 ....4!!!

GPS lady: Recalculating 

It was around that time we (I) decided to accept the invitation of my dearest friend and Goomadi to stop at his lake house before continuing to the shore. So we parked our temporary house in the yard his temporary house and had a great meal with his beautiful family. Vacation has began!  After many months of isolation... it was nice to see some people....after months of worry and uncertainty and political bullshit ...it was nice to enjoy some nonsense!   I was so happy to actually have conversations with real words, words that aren’t “what?” 

Although there were these conversations...

Goomadi: Blah Blah Blah after some very very detailed story about what happened on August whenever in 1975, peppered with some ridiculous historical factoids... “are you listening?”

Me: no

I am always listening though   - because he is the best, we share a love of food and family and he always sings the Mary Tyler Moore theme when he takes a picture of me. ..and he seriously is a wealth of information (interesting or otherwise)

So after a good night sleep in the bedroom, just inches from the kitchen and “bathroom “, we headed to the ocean.   See above GPS conversation. 

Being in the RV I was able to live out my dream of living in a Tiny House. I mean ours has actual beds and tables, we didn’t have to convert the microwave into extra seating space or anything like that.  I watch that show all the time and always wondered how normal sized people live in them. Well, I am hardly normal sized, so there were definitely pros (I’m pretty  much already travel size)and cons ( I can barely reach the lights, the fan, and said microwave ) but if we ever need to go off the grid... I think we can do it. There will be WiFi though, right?

Now we are finally at the beautiful ocean- I haul my 60 year old bathing suit clad ass out to the secluded area of the beach with of course, a fancy new cover up ...my mask!  Back in March, I’d thought it be years before I would be able to put my feet in the sea again!  Believe me, It was worth the drive! The surf were rough as was the turf as many people were unmasked- but I do have to say people were socially distanced ( not quite as distanced as us) and there was really no congregating.  That being said, it was really nice to climb in to our”Isolation-mobile” to have lunch and such!  A delicious lunch at that- yeah... we brought rotisserie chicken...and my Keurig so what?

After some research on RV campgrounds, we found that you kind of do have to make some plans...like reservations. No vacancies - I guess isolation-mobiles are all the rage in 2020. Ruh Roh - the camps  with openings were kind of far which I tried to show him the maps on my phone - but he “can’t see that small stuff.” Great, now I’m traveling with Helen Keller minus the laughs.

No worries...we had a standing invitation at Goomadi’s house- our usual travel destination. So we parked the RV in the driveway like Cousin Eddies at the Griswald’s...without the whole “shitters full” scene.  More great meals, some hiking ( which is really just walking but sounds cooler) and a couple of movies in our Tiny Home Theater... and we were ready to head back to, well, I was going to say normalcy , but I’m not sure that word even makes sense anymore. Whatever reality is waiting for us in the coming months we have to put on our rose colored masks and face it!  We can do it! Here’s how I know we can:

The day before I left, we were able to present a little socially distanced show with my summer STAGE kids.  This was going to be thefirst summer in since I was 16 with out a show ( save a bunch of years for college , marriage and babies.) We were planning on doing “Anything Goes”, but that quickly turned  in to “Everything Blows” and by June, we knew we wouldn’t be able to pull it off ...as we do every other summer. We did a thing though. It wasn’t anything like the six weeks of rehearsals and costumes and sets and audiences and excitement of the past, but it was amazing!  We live streamed it because we’re fancy and I surround myself with the smartest people in the world. A nice small group of us joined together, followed all the safety rules - cut to me crawling on the ground with a tape measure marking the 12 feet allotted distance for singing -as any good director would!  You can still see it on the STAGE Facebook page ...shameless plug!!! It is absolutely inspirational!The voices of those talented kids of mine gave me such hope that whatever the rest of 2020 throws at us-we will figure out a way to make it work! 

So the school debate goes on- but if we are smart and creative, we can SAFELY get the kids back, those who choose to go back!  If we are smart in November, we can have some new leadership who is also concerned with SAFELY getting back. Back to a life the slightly resemblance the one we once knew, but better!!!So stay well, stay optimistic, stay smart AND vote smart - don’t make me go off the grid!  But so you know, that deaf, mute and blind guy .....sure drives a mean RV..... just sayin’