I have been thinking about men lately....and not because of that 50 Shades of Whatever. I think about men a lot. So what...I have a lot of men in my life to think about. A husband, a dad, a son, a son-in-law, a grandson, co workers, friends and to top it off, I was in search of about a dozen or so guys who can sing and dance.
Yes it is theater season again and we decided to do Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat ...which requires in addition to the main character of Joseph, his 11 brothers! We did it...we found a dozen (and then some) talented young men to fill the bill which only means, I will be surrounded by even more men this summer! (Much more about my musical trial and tribulations to come...) So back to men
Maybe because it was just Father's Day ...maybe because I went to 3 wakes for 3 men. One was a grandfather, one dad from our school..one father of a dear friend who was also a war hero. All very sad and all got me thinking about the men in my life and men in general.
I don't claim to be an expert, but a few decades of observation and 30 years of marriage have led me to the conclusion of men...they are all alike! Young, old, gay, straight, any shape, size or color....men are all alike. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. There is some comfort in that I feel. I have had many conversations over coffee or stronger beverages about husbands or boy friends and many times my answer to them has been..."it's a man thing" More times than not...I have been right..."It's a man thing".
So what does that mean......the idea that men are only after one thing is true...but that one thing changes, it differs a bit with the man and the situation, but I will try to break it down
HUNGRY- EAT TIRED - SLEEP MISERABLE- POOP
(usually poop...sometimes this last emotion if you can call miserable an emotion involves s-e-x ...a shade of grey if you will). I know it sounds infantile but in my experience it helps to keep this in mind and it applies cradle to grave. My grandson and my husband are much easier to be around after they EAT SLEEP POOP ...(starring Julia Roberts...).
Proof: One time we had to deal with an insurance issue. I spoke to the insurance agent, I got all the info ...I made some decision or two that I was a little unsure about. So I called the Mr and told him what I had done/decided and he was very quite on the other end of the line.
ME:"Did I do the wrong thing...should I have done something different, you're not saying anything" HIM: "It's fine, but really have to go to the bathroom."
Your Honor...I rest my case!
Maybe this is not true with all men...but in my experience, it makes life easier if you get those three things out of the way first, then you can further investigate and they are sooooo different from girls it's kind of refreshing. Speaking as a mother. I have 2 daughters 1 son...now we all know how girls can be (that is a blog and a half) but having a boy in the middle gave me a little respite from GIRLWORLD.
Proof: My son had some guys over back when Texas Hold 'Em was all the rage. There were some words exchanged about some one cheating blah blah blah, voices got loud and there was some storming out. I was panicked. I was expected to spend the next day on the phone with some of the moms of these upset boys and I was trying to piece together how it all went down. The next day rolls around and there they are.. all the boys ...everyone of them back at my house, playing poker like nothing happened. Awesome! If this were one of my girls and a situation like that broke out...I would be dealing with weeks of phone calls and tears and probably an eating disorder or two. Holy shit! I love men!
Another cool thing about men is that my son and my husband are still friends with people they went to elementary school with. I have one, just one that I stay in touch with... Tammy- who used to ride bikes by boys houses with me and was by my side for my first encounter with a real man...Hubbell Gardner (aka Robert Redford in the Way We Were.) That perfect man in that perfect movie which we saw about 100 times and consequently "ruined romance for us" ...But it was those early days looking for a ''Hubbell" that made me love men!
I do ...I love men...which is why I am giving myself license to dish a little. I like the company of men...I prefer to work for and with men I get along with all the cooks (men) at the restaurant and share a room at school with a man....I kind of grew up as a "one of the guys" girls. (I'm "the you're so funny, hey, let's chug a beer and listen to this disgusting , offensive joke and who is your tall blonde friend? " girl) So I have always felt comportable around men. ....most of my friends and very best friends are men. I DO believe men and women can be friends (sorry to the "Billy Crystal" out there... I think I kind of do believe it)
But as much as I love men I hope everyone out there that you knows you have to love yourself before you can really love any man...or anything. I don't want to go all Oprah on you ...but you come first...then your man...(that's what she said...couldn't resist) But honestly, sometimes we lose ourselves in what our men want and drive ourselves crazy "over a guy" to quote Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. I love that movie too. She is a successful news producer whose world is shook up "over a guy"...now granted this guy was William Hurt. But it goes to show you how we can drive ourselves to drink because some man says or does something that cuts us to the core and we spend hours trying to shake it and figure it out what it all means and sometime the answer is very simple.
Sometimes our men just want to EAT SLEEP POOP and maybe a couple a shades of grey...just sayin
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
So a deaf man and a blind woman walk into a bar....
Sounds like the beginning of a great joke, right? Oh the possibilities! But it's no joke, folks....tonight at the restaurant/bar where I work, a deaf man and a blind woman came in for dinner. Keep this thought in mind as I say that I was in that "waa- waa- feeling sorry for myself "mood. I'm driving to my second job,and I'm pissed off at every dumbass driver that crossed my path. I am stressing over the beginning stages of musical planning....the business part of "show" business which I really don't like..I am also stressing over being in the midst of putting up a show which I "adopted" when their director quit....Plus..I am in a total "what the hell do I want to do if and when I grow up" phase.
Shut. Up. right?
So it's hot and it's humid, my hair looks like Linc from the Mod Squad and my mind is going in a hundred different directions and my first table is this deaf man and blind woman. GREAT! Within seconds ... I immediately start feeling like a real jackhole for even complaining about my perfect life. This couple sat there, holding hands... holding hands because that is how they communicate with each other. She would sign into his hand as he read the menu and signed back to her. He would look at me then and speak his order the best he could. I'm sure he was thinking why is this goofy woman smiling so much? (I suppose I smile a lot in awkward situations)...but it was better than trying to be all Annie Sullivan at them and try to"over" help. They were doing just fine on their own. They ordered their dinners and drank their sodas "with not a lot of ice" . They were fascinating to watch and absolutely adorable.
I wonder if they know the impact they had on me. It was like getting hit in the head with a cast iron frying pan a la Wile E. Coyote on the Road Runner cartoons. How dare I complain about the "stuff" I have to deal with. I think of the people I encounter during the day...co-workers, family, friends, random humans...there is a whole lot of bitching out there folks and I'm not so sure how much of it is justified. We all have "one of those days" ...I was having one myself. We are all allowed to have them ...once in a while. Some people, though, are really pushing it ...in my opinion. Now I am all about that "walking in their shoes"shit and you really don't know people until then...but COME ON!!! I see an awful lot of " boo hoo..there was a long line at the bank as I was cashing my $1000 check" kind of whining. I wish those people (and again- you know who you are) could have witnessed the deaf man and blind woman having dinner.
I wish more people had the LIVE LAUGH LOVE attitude that I try to have...and I think I do tons of reality checks when I start getting whiny. People need to do that more. And now here's a little story..
When I had my last child ...there were ....complications....not with her, thank God...with me. I won't go into it...that's a whole other blog topic. But I almost didn't make it. There were surgeries and heart issues and thoughts of being the main character in the Lifetime movie of the woman who went to have her third child and didn't come out alive....scary stuff kids...but it's been 22 years and for the most part have adopted the live your life lifestyle. You just never know ....
I have been accused, many ,many times of not taking things seriously., "you know, not everything is funny," I've been told... Well the truth is...not everything is funny...mostly it's hysterical ...you just have to be able to look at life a little differently. Sure there are serious, scary things...I 've been through a bunch of them...but when things are not that bad....don't make them worse. Try to be positive...have faith and don't be afraid to laugh and enjoy the ride.
Back to the deaf man and the blind woman...they ate every bit of their dinner....paid their bill, left me a great tip and they were on their way. The bartender and I wondered how they manage. What do they do when they get home. How do they run errands, pay bills and just do every day tasks ?Everything seemed like it was such a struggle....probably not to them, though..they were just out for dinner on a lovely, warm May evening. I honestly can not get them out of my mind..but I forgot to mention that when I gave them their drinks, they sat there for a minute. As I walked away.. out of the corner of my eye I saw them clink glasses together...."cheers".
Now I don't like to cry in public....I am a very emotional person but I do NOT like people to see me cry....only a few chosen have...but man...turn on the water works when I saw the deaf man and the blind woman toast each other over their diet pepsi's....it was truly one of the coolest thing I ever saw. I'm not going to say it changed my life but it surely gave me a kick in the big ass attitude adjustment.... So maybe I didn't get that interview and ONE of our cars may need work on the transmission...and my kitchen counter didn't come in ..but just I saw and I heard two of the coolest people ever who made me open my eyes and ears on this lovely, warm May evening ...."cheers'.....just saying
Shut. Up. right?
So it's hot and it's humid, my hair looks like Linc from the Mod Squad and my mind is going in a hundred different directions and my first table is this deaf man and blind woman. GREAT! Within seconds ... I immediately start feeling like a real jackhole for even complaining about my perfect life. This couple sat there, holding hands... holding hands because that is how they communicate with each other. She would sign into his hand as he read the menu and signed back to her. He would look at me then and speak his order the best he could. I'm sure he was thinking why is this goofy woman smiling so much? (I suppose I smile a lot in awkward situations)...but it was better than trying to be all Annie Sullivan at them and try to"over" help. They were doing just fine on their own. They ordered their dinners and drank their sodas "with not a lot of ice" . They were fascinating to watch and absolutely adorable.
I wonder if they know the impact they had on me. It was like getting hit in the head with a cast iron frying pan a la Wile E. Coyote on the Road Runner cartoons. How dare I complain about the "stuff" I have to deal with. I think of the people I encounter during the day...co-workers, family, friends, random humans...there is a whole lot of bitching out there folks and I'm not so sure how much of it is justified. We all have "one of those days" ...I was having one myself. We are all allowed to have them ...once in a while. Some people, though, are really pushing it ...in my opinion. Now I am all about that "walking in their shoes"shit and you really don't know people until then...but COME ON!!! I see an awful lot of " boo hoo..there was a long line at the bank as I was cashing my $1000 check" kind of whining. I wish those people (and again- you know who you are) could have witnessed the deaf man and blind woman having dinner.
I wish more people had the LIVE LAUGH LOVE attitude that I try to have...and I think I do tons of reality checks when I start getting whiny. People need to do that more. And now here's a little story..
When I had my last child ...there were ....complications....not with her, thank God...with me. I won't go into it...that's a whole other blog topic. But I almost didn't make it. There were surgeries and heart issues and thoughts of being the main character in the Lifetime movie of the woman who went to have her third child and didn't come out alive....scary stuff kids...but it's been 22 years and for the most part have adopted the live your life lifestyle. You just never know ....
I have been accused, many ,many times of not taking things seriously., "you know, not everything is funny," I've been told... Well the truth is...not everything is funny...mostly it's hysterical ...you just have to be able to look at life a little differently. Sure there are serious, scary things...I 've been through a bunch of them...but when things are not that bad....don't make them worse. Try to be positive...have faith and don't be afraid to laugh and enjoy the ride.
Back to the deaf man and the blind woman...they ate every bit of their dinner....paid their bill, left me a great tip and they were on their way. The bartender and I wondered how they manage. What do they do when they get home. How do they run errands, pay bills and just do every day tasks ?Everything seemed like it was such a struggle....probably not to them, though..they were just out for dinner on a lovely, warm May evening. I honestly can not get them out of my mind..but I forgot to mention that when I gave them their drinks, they sat there for a minute. As I walked away.. out of the corner of my eye I saw them clink glasses together...."cheers".
Now I don't like to cry in public....I am a very emotional person but I do NOT like people to see me cry....only a few chosen have...but man...turn on the water works when I saw the deaf man and the blind woman toast each other over their diet pepsi's....it was truly one of the coolest thing I ever saw. I'm not going to say it changed my life but it surely gave me a kick in the big ass attitude adjustment.... So maybe I didn't get that interview and ONE of our cars may need work on the transmission...and my kitchen counter didn't come in ..but just I saw and I heard two of the coolest people ever who made me open my eyes and ears on this lovely, warm May evening ...."cheers'.....just saying
Sunday, May 6, 2012
This is a test...this is only a test.....
Beeeeeeep....remember those? Those Emergency Broadcast System things used to scare the shit out of me! What were those and what is the Emergency Broadcast System anyway? All I know is that I would hear that beep and think "just a test...did they say it was just a test? This isn't THE emergency where we are supposed to tune into that station....wait ...what are we supposed to do....WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?"
I can only assume that this stress early on in my life contributed to my hatred for tests! I hate tests -always have. I guess I don't know of too many people who enjoy them (I'm sure you're out there) but I know there are people who handle them better than I.
I am not a good test taker....I never was. I would try to study but I never knew what to study and I always studied the wrong stuff. I had all kinds of tricks, songs, mnemonic and none of that information was ever on the test. I would read so much in to the questions that I would wind up stressing over the simplest things.
(What do they mean by Name__________________?)
Tests- I know at one point in my life....way, way back... I took a test and did so well that they wanted me to skip a grade at School 49. I think it was 1st or 2nd - I don't know because my Mom said no based on the fact that I was too little....size wise...too little. I will pause here for the collective ...huh?. Whatever ...I can't think about how different things may have been because everything happens for a reason but seriously....too little....huh?
But grade skipping aside, I know that I am sort of bright, kind of clever and sometimes I can be
somewhat of a "smartypants" if you will...but put a test in front of me and I'm all TRUE...no FALSE...no TRUE...oh shit! Maybe I can make it look like a "T" and an "F" and let the person correcting deal with it.
Tests- I'm stressed just thinking about the word. Even out of the school setting...who ever wants to hear the phrase "I'm sending you for tests" or "those tests were inconclusive so we'll run some more tests " I do not like those kinds of tests either.
Road Test- I passed mine on the first try and I am a HORRIBLE driver. I checked my mirrors and parallel parked and passed....so what did that prove. It proved for that little snapshot of my driving ventures, I did everything right. I guess that is kind of my point. Tests kind of show what you know or what you remember at that little snippet of time. In college, I took and passed tests in classes ranging from Greek Mythology to Geology to Rhetoric...test me now on that BS ( ironically the degree I earned) I don't think I would do very well...geology-really?. I do know a bit about Greek Mythology mostly thanks to crossword puzzles and Jeopardy.
The reason TESTS have jumped in the forefront of my cluttered brain is that for the past two week the 3rd, 4th & 5th graders at the school I work at have been inundated with New York State tests. Now the tests have been all over the news mostly due to the unfair questions, the "opting out" movement, the amount of time used for teaching to the tests and the ridiculous actions they will be taking with the results of these tests.
A certain percentage of the classroom teacher's evaluation will be determined by the outcome of the tests. Can you imagine you are assessed based on how a bunch of 8 year olds felt like doing on a test on a certain day?
It's like my driving test. I did well on that day....but if I hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten my licence...but they wouldn't have taken away my dad's licence because he's the one who taught me how to drive. Sounds silly when you think about it like that. But that isn't even the worst part. I just think about that one kid...that one who is just like me when I'm faced with tests. The stress of having to take 6 tests in 2 weeks is more than I would have been able to handle at that age.
They are told not to worry and get upset about it, it's just like any other test but only use these #2 pencils (do we know what the other number pencils are for)/we can't answer any of your question/ if you need to use the bathroom you must do so with a chaperone /and make sure you bubble in correctly/ DON'T ERASE -cross out then circle...what the fuck? I'm stressed!
Let's face it ... I took tests as a kid and I know, more recently my kids took tests. I always told them do your best, prepare yourself and do your best...YOUR best. You don't have to do THE best. If you do, great, but just try to show what you are capable of.
I recall my youngest (a lot like me) totally stressing about these test. Stomach aches ...head aches...and me totally relaxed mom at this point... telling her that the outcome of these tests for her will be someone saying..."oh she did well, just like I thought or hmmm I thought she'd do better". But either way it won't change your day to day life....and it didn't. My son...who also followed in my footsteps as a bad test taker...did not fare well on his Math assessment way back when he was 12 or 13. (yes ...let's test kids going through puberty and base important decisions on those results.) When the dust settled and the results were in, his score showed he was eligible for extra help in Math,
a subject that he was now pulling 90's in. So much for tests, I did have one good test taker- my oldest daughter--the logical one ...She has a brilliant mathematical mind and also says some of the "air headiest "things I ever heard uttered by a human being. So much for tests.
So in conclusion..being an intelligent woman, a "smartypants" as aforementioned, I can see the need for tests- I understand what they show ....but I don't think it tells the whole story. While proctoring one of these test I encountered a "little darling" that will probably score very well on these assessments but was one of the most obnoxious, rudest child I've seen. What are you going to do with that New York State! While tests are important ...I always feel there are things that can't be tested (on paper) that prove more important. I like seeing people's true colors come out when "tested" in certain situations. Some of the "smartest" people are the "dumbest" people I know. You know who you are!
So tests...are there good tests? Taste tests- I guess I'd like those...Pregnancy tests...I was always pretty good at those-- ( I can pee on those sticks like nobody's business) but those can be scary too...
And the phrase "I've been tested" has a whole new meaning in these current times One's reaction to hearing that phrase come out of one of your childrens' mouths is a true test of a person ----my reaction.....let me see if I can illustrate it....you know those Looney Tune cartoons where the character has a frozen smile on and piece by piece their face falls apart....yeah that's the reaction!
So yeah I get it ...tests are a necessary evil in all aspects of society but I guess how you react and what you do with the results is more telling than anything they can test you on.
Just
a) be prepared
b) do your best
c) don't panic
d) whatever the result- deal with it and move on
Ummm...I choose e) all of the above...true? no... false no true...can you repeat the question...
just sayin'
I can only assume that this stress early on in my life contributed to my hatred for tests! I hate tests -always have. I guess I don't know of too many people who enjoy them (I'm sure you're out there) but I know there are people who handle them better than I.
I am not a good test taker....I never was. I would try to study but I never knew what to study and I always studied the wrong stuff. I had all kinds of tricks, songs, mnemonic and none of that information was ever on the test. I would read so much in to the questions that I would wind up stressing over the simplest things.
(What do they mean by Name__________________?)
Tests- I know at one point in my life....way, way back... I took a test and did so well that they wanted me to skip a grade at School 49. I think it was 1st or 2nd - I don't know because my Mom said no based on the fact that I was too little....size wise...too little. I will pause here for the collective ...huh?. Whatever ...I can't think about how different things may have been because everything happens for a reason but seriously....too little....huh?
But grade skipping aside, I know that I am sort of bright, kind of clever and sometimes I can be
somewhat of a "smartypants" if you will...but put a test in front of me and I'm all TRUE...no FALSE...no TRUE...oh shit! Maybe I can make it look like a "T" and an "F" and let the person correcting deal with it.
Tests- I'm stressed just thinking about the word. Even out of the school setting...who ever wants to hear the phrase "I'm sending you for tests" or "those tests were inconclusive so we'll run some more tests " I do not like those kinds of tests either.
Road Test- I passed mine on the first try and I am a HORRIBLE driver. I checked my mirrors and parallel parked and passed....so what did that prove. It proved for that little snapshot of my driving ventures, I did everything right. I guess that is kind of my point. Tests kind of show what you know or what you remember at that little snippet of time. In college, I took and passed tests in classes ranging from Greek Mythology to Geology to Rhetoric...test me now on that BS ( ironically the degree I earned) I don't think I would do very well...geology-really?. I do know a bit about Greek Mythology mostly thanks to crossword puzzles and Jeopardy.
The reason TESTS have jumped in the forefront of my cluttered brain is that for the past two week the 3rd, 4th & 5th graders at the school I work at have been inundated with New York State tests. Now the tests have been all over the news mostly due to the unfair questions, the "opting out" movement, the amount of time used for teaching to the tests and the ridiculous actions they will be taking with the results of these tests.
A certain percentage of the classroom teacher's evaluation will be determined by the outcome of the tests. Can you imagine you are assessed based on how a bunch of 8 year olds felt like doing on a test on a certain day?
It's like my driving test. I did well on that day....but if I hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten my licence...but they wouldn't have taken away my dad's licence because he's the one who taught me how to drive. Sounds silly when you think about it like that. But that isn't even the worst part. I just think about that one kid...that one who is just like me when I'm faced with tests. The stress of having to take 6 tests in 2 weeks is more than I would have been able to handle at that age.
They are told not to worry and get upset about it, it's just like any other test but only use these #2 pencils (do we know what the other number pencils are for)/we can't answer any of your question/ if you need to use the bathroom you must do so with a chaperone /and make sure you bubble in correctly/ DON'T ERASE -cross out then circle...what the fuck? I'm stressed!
Let's face it ... I took tests as a kid and I know, more recently my kids took tests. I always told them do your best, prepare yourself and do your best...YOUR best. You don't have to do THE best. If you do, great, but just try to show what you are capable of.
I recall my youngest (a lot like me) totally stressing about these test. Stomach aches ...head aches...and me totally relaxed mom at this point... telling her that the outcome of these tests for her will be someone saying..."oh she did well, just like I thought or hmmm I thought she'd do better". But either way it won't change your day to day life....and it didn't. My son...who also followed in my footsteps as a bad test taker...did not fare well on his Math assessment way back when he was 12 or 13. (yes ...let's test kids going through puberty and base important decisions on those results.) When the dust settled and the results were in, his score showed he was eligible for extra help in Math,
a subject that he was now pulling 90's in. So much for tests, I did have one good test taker- my oldest daughter--the logical one ...She has a brilliant mathematical mind and also says some of the "air headiest "things I ever heard uttered by a human being. So much for tests.
So in conclusion..being an intelligent woman, a "smartypants" as aforementioned, I can see the need for tests- I understand what they show ....but I don't think it tells the whole story. While proctoring one of these test I encountered a "little darling" that will probably score very well on these assessments but was one of the most obnoxious, rudest child I've seen. What are you going to do with that New York State! While tests are important ...I always feel there are things that can't be tested (on paper) that prove more important. I like seeing people's true colors come out when "tested" in certain situations. Some of the "smartest" people are the "dumbest" people I know. You know who you are!
So tests...are there good tests? Taste tests- I guess I'd like those...Pregnancy tests...I was always pretty good at those-- ( I can pee on those sticks like nobody's business) but those can be scary too...
And the phrase "I've been tested" has a whole new meaning in these current times One's reaction to hearing that phrase come out of one of your childrens' mouths is a true test of a person ----my reaction.....let me see if I can illustrate it....you know those Looney Tune cartoons where the character has a frozen smile on and piece by piece their face falls apart....yeah that's the reaction!
So yeah I get it ...tests are a necessary evil in all aspects of society but I guess how you react and what you do with the results is more telling than anything they can test you on.
Just
a) be prepared
b) do your best
c) don't panic
d) whatever the result- deal with it and move on
Ummm...I choose e) all of the above...true? no... false no true...can you repeat the question...
just sayin'
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Gas Station Chardonnay anyone?
Did I mention that it was a gas station in Virginia ...also that they had Merlot, Pinots both Noir and Grigio and a nice Cabernet Sauvignon....individually portioned out in little glasses. Who is buying these ??? "Fill 'er up and may I see your wine list?"... Red with beef jerky right? I will get back to this whole issue later...I do have a point, not that they are selling "fancy" wines in a gas station isn't point enough!
Two things....1) I went on a little vacation with the Mr. and b) I turned 52 since my last blog. Oy....52 is such a big freaking number. At the school where I work, a friend of mine made me a little sign that the give the kindergartners on their birthday..."I'm 5 Today!" a big 5 on a string to wear around my neck...of course, mine had a little 2 next to it. Funny, real fucking funny.
One of the little kids said hey that's mixed up ...it should say 25.....I love that kid!!! Okay nice compliment I guess...but it was coming from kids who aren't really secure with their numbers yet....(question: what is 1 + 1 more? answer: kittens...not the sharpest group of 5 year olds). It is the equivalence of getting proofed at the grocery store when you buy beer. You feel kind of good until you look over and there is someone who looks like that Crypt Keeper fishing through her purse with her bony fingers to find her old ass ID as well.
It got me thinking 52/25 how different is it...Let's see when I was 25 I had one child and one on the way...so I was in Mommy Mode. I still kind of am in Mommy Mode...Grandmommy Mode even. Like now, I was working & busy all the time.. but I probably acted older at 25 than I do now.....I absolutely acted older than I do now.
Case in point: For our little spring break vacation we decided to take the train down to the Outer Banks and spend some time with friends in one of those big beautiful houses. We did that once before and it was really relaxing and nice. So off we went on a long-long-long train ride through most of the day and all of the night. I got to thinking...what's the Amtrak equivalence of the Mile High Club? That's a 25 year old thinking, right? I mentioned it to the Mr. and surprise surprise he was all for it...ALL FOR IT! "WOO WOO - complete with arm pumping like your blowing the train whistle" all for it! K, so we are on the same page with this.
We sat on the train for a while and just when it seemed like the perfect time...in come a huge family with about 25 kids . They were scattered all through the seats of this train.... in every nook and every cranny...where ever you looked there was a "Dugger"...all kind of homeschooly...all whiny...all complainy and their overbearing, somewhat judgmental mother ..total. mood. breaker! But I'm not letting those kids, that scary mom and her spindly little husband ruin my big idea. An idea that seemed much more realistic earlier in the romance novel/soft porn planning stage. That being said...
Let's check out the bathroom...tacky I know...but dammit I will not be a 52 year old AARP passenger on this train eating a butterscotch candy and reading a grown up home and garden magazine with my reader glasses...get the picture..so ALL ABOARD BITCHES!!!!
In the bathroom everything was wet... I mean everything and I'm not sure why, what or how but having used the bathroom on the train before...I have a pretty good idea. Think port-a potty and the people from Jackass . Not the most romantic nor sanitary place.
We change trains about 3 AM ...perfect ...we get on board and we don't have seats together doh!....So I doze off and when I awake we are surrounded by a what seems like a church gospel group ....doh! Sadly...Operation Hoo Hoo on the Choo Choo is aborted and I'm 52 again.
We get to the beach and it is glorious...we have a beautiful house with a deck right outside our bedroom with a porch swing and a ocean view...it is how the other half lives....the half that doesn't have 5 jobs between the two of them. We walked by the ocean and drank beers, ate crab legs and spent time with our friends when we wanted ...basically came and went as we pleased. Okay 52...not so bad....at 25 we were like the only one of our friends with kids and they would be doing the aforementioned activities while we was being mommy and daddy. Not a complaint...just a fact...a fact of my life.
So there it is- this is where I am and I guess I have to accept it and I am accepting it ...kicking and screaming all the way. The vacation, like all unrealistic things, comes to an end ...we head home and I think back to reality ...52!
But then we drove 14 hours straight to get home in time for me to catch the Springsteen concert ...I realized I am not growing up anytime soon -considering this was my 11th time seeing him. I sang and danced and screamed BRUUUCCEEE all on about 1 hour and 20 minutes of sleep.
...And that night when he sang one of my favorites "Thunder Road" that was me screaming the lyric.."so you're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore"..."Show a little faith" Bruce says..."there's magic in the night"....There is magic in the night ! Maybe not the night we attempted to "do the locomotion" but maybe it was the night we drove home from a vacation and stopped at a Virginia gas station and noticed that they sell individual glasses of wine there. At 25 ...I may have missed the irony of that because of normal parental preoccupations...but at 52... I found it hilarious... Now the big question...how was the wine?...seriously...I'm immature, I'm not stupid...just sayin'
Two things....1) I went on a little vacation with the Mr. and b) I turned 52 since my last blog. Oy....52 is such a big freaking number. At the school where I work, a friend of mine made me a little sign that the give the kindergartners on their birthday..."I'm 5 Today!" a big 5 on a string to wear around my neck...of course, mine had a little 2 next to it. Funny, real fucking funny.
One of the little kids said hey that's mixed up ...it should say 25.....I love that kid!!! Okay nice compliment I guess...but it was coming from kids who aren't really secure with their numbers yet....(question: what is 1 + 1 more? answer: kittens...not the sharpest group of 5 year olds). It is the equivalence of getting proofed at the grocery store when you buy beer. You feel kind of good until you look over and there is someone who looks like that Crypt Keeper fishing through her purse with her bony fingers to find her old ass ID as well.
It got me thinking 52/25 how different is it...Let's see when I was 25 I had one child and one on the way...so I was in Mommy Mode. I still kind of am in Mommy Mode...Grandmommy Mode even. Like now, I was working & busy all the time.. but I probably acted older at 25 than I do now.....I absolutely acted older than I do now.
Case in point: For our little spring break vacation we decided to take the train down to the Outer Banks and spend some time with friends in one of those big beautiful houses. We did that once before and it was really relaxing and nice. So off we went on a long-long-long train ride through most of the day and all of the night. I got to thinking...what's the Amtrak equivalence of the Mile High Club? That's a 25 year old thinking, right? I mentioned it to the Mr. and surprise surprise he was all for it...ALL FOR IT! "WOO WOO - complete with arm pumping like your blowing the train whistle" all for it! K, so we are on the same page with this.
We sat on the train for a while and just when it seemed like the perfect time...in come a huge family with about 25 kids . They were scattered all through the seats of this train.... in every nook and every cranny...where ever you looked there was a "Dugger"...all kind of homeschooly...all whiny...all complainy and their overbearing, somewhat judgmental mother ..total. mood. breaker! But I'm not letting those kids, that scary mom and her spindly little husband ruin my big idea. An idea that seemed much more realistic earlier in the romance novel/soft porn planning stage. That being said...
Let's check out the bathroom...tacky I know...but dammit I will not be a 52 year old AARP passenger on this train eating a butterscotch candy and reading a grown up home and garden magazine with my reader glasses...get the picture..so ALL ABOARD BITCHES!!!!
In the bathroom everything was wet... I mean everything and I'm not sure why, what or how but having used the bathroom on the train before...I have a pretty good idea. Think port-a potty and the people from Jackass . Not the most romantic nor sanitary place.
We change trains about 3 AM ...perfect ...we get on board and we don't have seats together doh!....So I doze off and when I awake we are surrounded by a what seems like a church gospel group ....doh! Sadly...Operation Hoo Hoo on the Choo Choo is aborted and I'm 52 again.
We get to the beach and it is glorious...we have a beautiful house with a deck right outside our bedroom with a porch swing and a ocean view...it is how the other half lives....the half that doesn't have 5 jobs between the two of them. We walked by the ocean and drank beers, ate crab legs and spent time with our friends when we wanted ...basically came and went as we pleased. Okay 52...not so bad....at 25 we were like the only one of our friends with kids and they would be doing the aforementioned activities while we was being mommy and daddy. Not a complaint...just a fact...a fact of my life.
So there it is- this is where I am and I guess I have to accept it and I am accepting it ...kicking and screaming all the way. The vacation, like all unrealistic things, comes to an end ...we head home and I think back to reality ...52!
But then we drove 14 hours straight to get home in time for me to catch the Springsteen concert ...I realized I am not growing up anytime soon -considering this was my 11th time seeing him. I sang and danced and screamed BRUUUCCEEE all on about 1 hour and 20 minutes of sleep.
...And that night when he sang one of my favorites "Thunder Road" that was me screaming the lyric.."so you're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore"..."Show a little faith" Bruce says..."there's magic in the night"....There is magic in the night ! Maybe not the night we attempted to "do the locomotion" but maybe it was the night we drove home from a vacation and stopped at a Virginia gas station and noticed that they sell individual glasses of wine there. At 25 ...I may have missed the irony of that because of normal parental preoccupations...but at 52... I found it hilarious... Now the big question...how was the wine?...seriously...I'm immature, I'm not stupid...just sayin'
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
...it's all the stuff
This blog title comes from one of my favorite movies..."The Jerk". It's the movie where Steve Martin goes from "poor black child" to millionaire and then loses it all, but it's okay 'cause all he needs is his thermos...and that's all he needs...oh yeah and this table....Classic...The particular part I quoted was actually from his wife, Marie played by Bernadette Peters who (after they lose their fortune) says in her best Kewpie Doll voice..."it's not the money....it's all the stuff.
Sometimes I wonder how much "stuff" do people need? I have been thinking about money a lot ...more than usual that is. Usually I think of how much money I need.....how much do I need to: pay the bills, get out of debt, to afford a new whatever, go on vacation...or most of the time... to go grocery shopping. But these days I am thinking about money in a different way. How much do people need? I often wonder about billionaires and why am I not one....but really- how do they possible spend all the money they have. Are these the people that buy the solid gold bathroom fixtures or spend $25,000 on sunglasses? You can't possible spend that much money in a life time...can you? I mean those nauseating BRAVO housewives ( who don't seem to do anything resembling work) go bankrupt because of bad business deals but still continue to spend spend spend....it's all so hard to understand for someone who works 3 count 'em 3 jobs and sometimes only has $3.65 in her wallet.
Now the reason I have been thinking money is that one of my aforementioned jobs is in an elementary school. Anyone who has been watching these last few years has seen schools lose their funding. Schools have been force to make brutal cuts to make up the deficits cause by, in my opinion, bad decisions and good ol' American greed. These cuts have touched many people close to me...one very close....my own daughter had to give up on the thought of a teaching job a year or so ago. So sad...she was, and is still, an awesome teacher. A while back her math position was cut and then it was impossible to find another and since then things have gotten worse.....way worse!
Not only has staffing been cut, but programs...sports and music and art...across the boards- the programs that directly affect children. Some of the programs which were slashed are the very reasons that make certain kids want to go to school. Sometimes it's the only reason. So sad ...because out there...somewhere... "some one's being greedy" (say that in a playground sing songy voice please)......and you know who you are. The people making the rules are not the ones playing the game...they are not in the trenches so to speak.
I'm pretty sure these people are the one that get in to office and vote to give themselves pay raises as their first order of business...For real? How much more do you need for doing a job that you really, really wanted ...I mean you campaigned for it for God's sake.
I remember one time one of my insightful children made a great observation...."how come the people with the worst jobs get paid the least...? " Good point huh?....no one WANTS to change bedpans so shouldn't those people get paid more ...for incentive ...then athletes, actors and the like, ( the ones supposedly doing something they LOVE) getting paid ungodly amounts. It doesn't make sense, right?
Did you ever notice that those athletes actors and the like are the ones that get free shit -like fabulous gift bags full of things they can most certainly afford. So you just won the Super Bowl...oh that's not enough...here's a new car. SERIOUSLY??!!?? I'm sure the quarterback for the Giants isn't waiting around for a ride after the game because his wife has the car that day.
Money, Money, Money! it makes the warped world go 'round. Now don't get me wrong....I heart money....I have referred to myself as a "money whore"... more than once. In addition to school, I work at a restaurant. I initially started working there as a bold move to fend off the empty nest syndrome but now I would soooooo miss the money!!! But before you judge too harshly, please know...I have done and still do my share of giving back out of the goodness of my heart. (awwww) I mean...I'm not tithing or anything crazy like that....but I've volunteered my time and talents especially when my kids were younger and I fully expect to do the same for my grandson and future grand children. I think I have instilled a little bit of that sense of community and giving back to my kids. They are all pretty generous with their time and are always willing to help each other out financially when they can. I did give them allowances growing up ...but I also wanted them to know that somethings (like chores) you just do because you are helping someone out. Although, I remember my youngest slamming her $2 down on the kitchen table and said...it's not worth it ....and refused to clean up the living room. There's one in every family......
The "what's in it for me"syndrome runs wild these days....an ironic statement coming from someone who works for tips...(how badly do you want that hamburger?).
In school, when I am playing games with the kids (a lost art these days)...."what do I get if I win" is a question that is often asked and usually answered with..."you get to win!" Since when is winning not enough...I love winning!!! You get to say "I WIN".
In a business class I took waaaay back in college, I learned that being appreciated and told "thank you" was more meaningful than money. I do believe that and I also know my fortune is not found in my bank account. I think we need to start to appreciate the little things in life...like a kind word...a compliment... or some one bringing you a coffee or hearing "Gaga...I love you" or laughing so hard you cry (don't you just love that feeling). I think we can all do with a lot less "stuff". I know that I have an exceptional family that is loving and funny and precious. I have great, great friends and enough money to go around and you know what... that's all I need ...oh yeah and those awesome pink shoes I saw and that's all I need.... just sayin'.
Sometimes I wonder how much "stuff" do people need? I have been thinking about money a lot ...more than usual that is. Usually I think of how much money I need.....how much do I need to: pay the bills, get out of debt, to afford a new whatever, go on vacation...or most of the time... to go grocery shopping. But these days I am thinking about money in a different way. How much do people need? I often wonder about billionaires and why am I not one....but really- how do they possible spend all the money they have. Are these the people that buy the solid gold bathroom fixtures or spend $25,000 on sunglasses? You can't possible spend that much money in a life time...can you? I mean those nauseating BRAVO housewives ( who don't seem to do anything resembling work) go bankrupt because of bad business deals but still continue to spend spend spend....it's all so hard to understand for someone who works 3 count 'em 3 jobs and sometimes only has $3.65 in her wallet.
Now the reason I have been thinking money is that one of my aforementioned jobs is in an elementary school. Anyone who has been watching these last few years has seen schools lose their funding. Schools have been force to make brutal cuts to make up the deficits cause by, in my opinion, bad decisions and good ol' American greed. These cuts have touched many people close to me...one very close....my own daughter had to give up on the thought of a teaching job a year or so ago. So sad...she was, and is still, an awesome teacher. A while back her math position was cut and then it was impossible to find another and since then things have gotten worse.....way worse!
Not only has staffing been cut, but programs...sports and music and art...across the boards- the programs that directly affect children. Some of the programs which were slashed are the very reasons that make certain kids want to go to school. Sometimes it's the only reason. So sad ...because out there...somewhere... "some one's being greedy" (say that in a playground sing songy voice please)......and you know who you are. The people making the rules are not the ones playing the game...they are not in the trenches so to speak.
I'm pretty sure these people are the one that get in to office and vote to give themselves pay raises as their first order of business...For real? How much more do you need for doing a job that you really, really wanted ...I mean you campaigned for it for God's sake.
I remember one time one of my insightful children made a great observation...."how come the people with the worst jobs get paid the least...? " Good point huh?....no one WANTS to change bedpans so shouldn't those people get paid more ...for incentive ...then athletes, actors and the like, ( the ones supposedly doing something they LOVE) getting paid ungodly amounts. It doesn't make sense, right?
Did you ever notice that those athletes actors and the like are the ones that get free shit -like fabulous gift bags full of things they can most certainly afford. So you just won the Super Bowl...oh that's not enough...here's a new car. SERIOUSLY??!!?? I'm sure the quarterback for the Giants isn't waiting around for a ride after the game because his wife has the car that day.
Money, Money, Money! it makes the warped world go 'round. Now don't get me wrong....I heart money....I have referred to myself as a "money whore"... more than once. In addition to school, I work at a restaurant. I initially started working there as a bold move to fend off the empty nest syndrome but now I would soooooo miss the money!!! But before you judge too harshly, please know...I have done and still do my share of giving back out of the goodness of my heart. (awwww) I mean...I'm not tithing or anything crazy like that....but I've volunteered my time and talents especially when my kids were younger and I fully expect to do the same for my grandson and future grand children. I think I have instilled a little bit of that sense of community and giving back to my kids. They are all pretty generous with their time and are always willing to help each other out financially when they can. I did give them allowances growing up ...but I also wanted them to know that somethings (like chores) you just do because you are helping someone out. Although, I remember my youngest slamming her $2 down on the kitchen table and said...it's not worth it ....and refused to clean up the living room. There's one in every family......
The "what's in it for me"syndrome runs wild these days....an ironic statement coming from someone who works for tips...(how badly do you want that hamburger?).
In school, when I am playing games with the kids (a lost art these days)...."what do I get if I win" is a question that is often asked and usually answered with..."you get to win!" Since when is winning not enough...I love winning!!! You get to say "I WIN".
In a business class I took waaaay back in college, I learned that being appreciated and told "thank you" was more meaningful than money. I do believe that and I also know my fortune is not found in my bank account. I think we need to start to appreciate the little things in life...like a kind word...a compliment... or some one bringing you a coffee or hearing "Gaga...I love you" or laughing so hard you cry (don't you just love that feeling). I think we can all do with a lot less "stuff". I know that I have an exceptional family that is loving and funny and precious. I have great, great friends and enough money to go around and you know what... that's all I need ...oh yeah and those awesome pink shoes I saw and that's all I need.... just sayin'.
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