I borrowed this title from Green Day, my 2 1/2 year old grandson's favorite band (go figure). I do feel that these days Billie Joe Armstrong is probably having a worse time of it than I am...but it's my blog and he's in rehab so I'm using it.
It's hard for me to believe but just a little better than a month ago I was sitting on the beach. The beautiful Atlantic Ocean was at my feet. I would wake up and see dolphins and my biggest worry was making sure there was enough sun screen in my lip balm so my mouth wouldn't go all Jolie on me again. I was with some of the best people I know. Although all my kids weren't able to go, I did have my grandson with me. It wasn't perfect but it was pretty damn close. I read a book, I ate delicious seafood, had some drinks and tons of laughs.
I remember one afternoon in particular. It was hot, but not unbearable as it was earlier in the day. I was sitting with family & friends and can see my grandson playing in a little tide pool, laughing and having the time of his life. I turned to my daughter, the one who was able to make the trip with her son, the same daughter who spent the summer choreographing the musical with me, and told her to think back. I wondered if she remembered this one day at rehearsal when no one knew their lines and it was a zillion degrees in that theater and we thought we broke those damn tubular bells we borrowed. The show looked like crap and no one seemed to care but us. She did remember, so I told her to close her eyes and think back to that clusterfuck of a day. Open them, I told her and look at her precious little boy running on the beach of this breathtaking ocean on this glorious August day. We earned this vacation....we DESERVED this vacation!
Yep ....this is What I Did on My Summer Vacation Part II ( the original title of this blog), Little did I know this wasn't a reward for a busy, productive summer. It was: enjoy the sunshine sucker..here comes a big poop storm called September.
WeekOne:
Now when you work in a school, it's like you never grow up. The real world goes to work every day January to January. School people start in September and we get that same feeling we got as kids. The nerves, the anxiety, the dread...is that Jerry Lewis singing "You'll Never Walk Alone"? Well this year was different. I slipped on my new school shoes (yes, I still buy new school shoes along with new these are on sale shoes and new hey it's Tuesday shoes ) This year, though, it was the last first day of school at my school because the powers that be (I really hate that phrase) decided to close our school to save a couple mill. I get it, I'm a taxpayer but this is the school my kids went to. Hell, this is the school I came to in 2nd grade. So this will be a bittersweet year of lasts.
I had to face this like a grown up so as I took a big deep breath, I took in whatever was in the air and had the worst allergy attack ever. I say ever because I don't really have allergies or sinus problems. Well I do now. This was the first week of school and here it is the end of the month and my nose is still running. Week One blows...literally
Week Two: After about 7 or 8 second opinions (none to his liking) my dad decided to have that knee surgery we suggested he have in the summer so we can be around to help him. Nah...second week of school is better. My sister, the first grade teacher and I played hospital tag for a couple days. I took the keys to my parent's car (saying it would really help me out if I can borrow their car for a bit). The beck and call situation I put myself in is infinitely better than the "were those your parents that drove through the window of McDonald's?" scenario. Realizing that my dad being out of commission meant that the day to day operations of that house was shut down we had no choice but to roll up our sleeves and play parents to our parents. I cooked, I drove , I cooked , I drove. I took my mom grocery shopping which turned into a horrifying episode of Supermarket Sweep. "I need frozen vegetables ( frozen foods) I need powder (health and beauty) I need milk ( well that's by the frozen foods where we just were) oh and we need Pepsi ...and then she disappeared. OK GO...Find all those items AND your mother.... Tell her what she's won, Johnny!!!
Week Three: More cooking, more driving, more phone calls , more banking "this has been so nice seeing you so much... oh you don't have time for lunch today" ..... oh yeah, more guilt
Week Four: I am at work at the restaurant and get the following from the Mr. Text 1: I am going to urgent care Text 2: I am going to the hospital Phone Call 1: no answer Phone Call 2: no answer Voicemail 1: I'm on (breath)my way( breath) to the hospital. Phone Call 3: "can't talk to you right now we're pulling up to the hospital now."...all said in a voice I have never heard from my husband. Half whisper half moaning. WHAT THE FUCK?!!?
So off I fly to the hospital in my little waitress uniform. Now this is the second time I have left work to fly to the hospital in my little waitress uniform. The first time was a for fall on the ice and my kids called and said he was fine, and I met them there . This time was different. This time I had no freaking idea what I was going to find when I got there. Well I got there and he was standing in the ER...obviously having chest and abdominal pains. Deep breath...this is better than what my over active imagination had me thinking. Miraculously, within minutes of my arrival the pain got better, it down right disappeared. Wow...I had no idea how powerful my presence was...seriously...I'm like Mother Theresa. Although I doubt Mother Theresa would have downed 5 shots of cherry vodka afterwards. Anyway... we still had to stay, for what turned out to be hours, to find out what was causing this. The smell of hospital doesn't mix well with the chicken wings and beer perfume I brought in on my little waitress uniform. Ughhh... I hate hate hate hospitals, so add a dose of panic and fear and a Latino family with the little boy who hit his head crying next to us and the endless parade of unprofessional personnel ("you guys are waiting for the doctor and stuff"...a direct quote) slide over honey I need to lie down too. Turns out the man has a bum gall bladder. After a couple of days of we need to do surgery, no a procedure, no surgery, nah, we'll send you home instead. So they sent him home BUT he needs to have that thing taken out not later but sooner ...Oh boy bring on October!!! If I'm not mistaken, Green Day has a song called BASKET CASE....just sayin'
Friday, September 28, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
What I did on my summer vacation...part one
Yeah, yeah, yeah I know, everyone is saying summer isn't quite over yet... even though there is a small contingency of people who feel that summer is over after July 4th ( you know who you are). I feel compelled to write about my summer (part one) while I should be packing for my vacation to the shore (part two). Being the ADHD person that I am...my summers are anything but relaxing. This year was no different, maybe even worse. I noticed that I haven't "blogged" since the beginning of July. That just proved to me how busy I actually was!
Now anyone who has been a loyal reader of my "MJ Sayin" nonsense knows that I direct musicals in the summer and last year I chonicled it week by week. ( I must have had more energy last year.) This year's show kicked my ass. The fact that it was "Egypt Hot" right up to show time didn't help my already thermometor bursting ( you know that graphic) temp-erature or temp-erament. I also kept up my restaruant job because I am a money whore as you know and three days out of the week I was full time Gaga (not Lady...regular Gaga...no meat dress required but that does sound delicious). I made sure my mom got to where she needed to go. I celebrated 3 DECADES with my husband and in honor of that we decided to re -do our kitchen. WTF? This summer's itinerary required the energy of an Olympiad and the organization, skill and rigor of a Navy Seal...So much for relaxing but remember this is just summer...part one. Bring- it - on!
The Show: It was very challanging this year. It was a young cast and a very social cast. I had assistants who were extremely helpful ( I honestly couldn't have done it without them) but they were also young. Which makes me the adult..a term I haven't come to grips with yet. I have to say this show was one of our very best endeavors. It was well attended and we may have made a profit which is not always the case. But there was a lot of drama. My favorite quote is "if there was as much drama on the stage as there is behind the scenes we would win a Tony!" I would come home from rehearsal ex-haust-ed!
Trying to keep everyone in line and happy and staying true to the integrity of my job as director while being open to other ideas and handling power struggles as I tried to deter a possible "let's drink after the Friday night show" cast party proved to be a job that even Bob Fosse would have struggled with. But he had better drugs... "it's show time folks"! But all in all - it was awesome. I am always so proud of my STAGE kids. It came together (as it always does...). This year there was much more...."you can't do that" and it won't work" and "oh no you didn't" but that just makes me more obnoxious about making it happen, although I never gloat but the addition of a little kids choir was nothing short of genius. With show # 5 under my sequined belt. I look to next year with new ideas and a fresh dose of crazy to unleash on my naysayers!!
The Kitchen: Usually when we do anything to our house, we draw up divorce papers, just in case. Anything short of changing a light bulb winds up in WW III (decades). So just image ripping out counter tops and painting. For the most part what I want is what happens but not without a fight and a Decorating 101 refresher course. My choice for color this time was a dark salmon-y pink. I grew up in a house where our wall color choices were "egg shell" or " ecru" . So we went from asparagus green to salmon ...yeah I know- food colors ...I honestly don't do it on purpose. The biggest dispute we have is that he is :Make it work at all cost it doesn't matter how it looks I am: I want it to look pret-ty. His way requires rolls and rolls of duct tape. My way is all accessories and decorative drawer pulls ( "what the f*** are pulls" ....a direct quote) After almost a month of living in an episode of HOARDERS...the kitchen edition, we have a beautiful, functional kitchen and our marriage is for the most part, intact. I guess in times of great adversity ( I can't find a fork ) you hang on to that person. When the road gets really rough ( how do you heat things up without a microwave) you stick together. After years of living with a broken dishwasher or actually being the broken dishwasher... here I sit...blogging AND doing the dishes...yes, it's the simple things in life!
Everything else: My waitress job is actually a welcomed change from being around kids all the time. Not that our staff is grown up by any means. But I love talking to people and bringing them food and making them happy ...(which is something that I do when I'm home ) only these strangers throw tons of money at me....not a bad gig. Not to mention there is bottle of Jack Daniels at arm's reach! So that's cool.
The moment I punch out on the last day of school....and I mean the moment, my mom is there, rubbing her hands together in anticipation of spending the summer with me.(By spending the summer I mean driving me and my sister crazy) I love my mom...I know so many people who have lost their parents and I am so lucky to have both of mine.....BUT ..."that is all I have to say about that"...thank you Forrest Gump. Guilt prevents me from going on. The irony of her telling me I work too hard while passively aggressively insisting I come pick her up to spend the day is priceless and she usually ends the trek by saying how much she enjoys my company and loves spending time with me. Yeah I'm a schmuck...but I'm a really tired schmuck. I have to remember that I will be there some day and I can see my kids doing rock/paper/scissors over who gets stuck with me....and the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon....everybody sing!!!
I could go on and on about my grandson...my lovey! He has gone from repeating little phrases to actually having conversations and making little jokes. It's an amazing thing being GAGA! We had great adventures this summer (part one) and it continues on to part two.
Part two consists of driving to New Jersey with this little guy and his mom for a fast and furious couple days at the shore. I can't think of anything better (well I do wish the rest of my kids could be there too). After another crazy, busy summer ...a day or two of ocean air sounds like a fabulous diversion to my upcoming school year (more to come about that shitstorm)!
I think of a mere 30 years ago...two KIDS hopped in the car and just took off to the ocean for a honeymoon. We landed in Cape Cod , a little north of where we are headed....but we always are drawn to the Atlantic and I never would have thought we'd be there 30 years later with a grandson...time flies when you're directing shows, re-decorating a house, serving drinks and food a couple nights a week, chasing an exhausting, yet amazing little 2 1/2 year old, taking care of ailing parents while trying to maintain a certain level of dignified immaturity.....just sayin
Now anyone who has been a loyal reader of my "MJ Sayin" nonsense knows that I direct musicals in the summer and last year I chonicled it week by week. ( I must have had more energy last year.) This year's show kicked my ass. The fact that it was "Egypt Hot" right up to show time didn't help my already thermometor bursting ( you know that graphic) temp-erature or temp-erament. I also kept up my restaruant job because I am a money whore as you know and three days out of the week I was full time Gaga (not Lady...regular Gaga...no meat dress required but that does sound delicious). I made sure my mom got to where she needed to go. I celebrated 3 DECADES with my husband and in honor of that we decided to re -do our kitchen. WTF? This summer's itinerary required the energy of an Olympiad and the organization, skill and rigor of a Navy Seal...So much for relaxing but remember this is just summer...part one. Bring- it - on!
The Show: It was very challanging this year. It was a young cast and a very social cast. I had assistants who were extremely helpful ( I honestly couldn't have done it without them) but they were also young. Which makes me the adult..a term I haven't come to grips with yet. I have to say this show was one of our very best endeavors. It was well attended and we may have made a profit which is not always the case. But there was a lot of drama. My favorite quote is "if there was as much drama on the stage as there is behind the scenes we would win a Tony!" I would come home from rehearsal ex-haust-ed!
Trying to keep everyone in line and happy and staying true to the integrity of my job as director while being open to other ideas and handling power struggles as I tried to deter a possible "let's drink after the Friday night show" cast party proved to be a job that even Bob Fosse would have struggled with. But he had better drugs... "it's show time folks"! But all in all - it was awesome. I am always so proud of my STAGE kids. It came together (as it always does...). This year there was much more...."you can't do that" and it won't work" and "oh no you didn't" but that just makes me more obnoxious about making it happen, although I never gloat but the addition of a little kids choir was nothing short of genius. With show # 5 under my sequined belt. I look to next year with new ideas and a fresh dose of crazy to unleash on my naysayers!!
The Kitchen: Usually when we do anything to our house, we draw up divorce papers, just in case. Anything short of changing a light bulb winds up in WW III (decades). So just image ripping out counter tops and painting. For the most part what I want is what happens but not without a fight and a Decorating 101 refresher course. My choice for color this time was a dark salmon-y pink. I grew up in a house where our wall color choices were "egg shell" or " ecru" . So we went from asparagus green to salmon ...yeah I know- food colors ...I honestly don't do it on purpose. The biggest dispute we have is that he is :Make it work at all cost it doesn't matter how it looks I am: I want it to look pret-ty. His way requires rolls and rolls of duct tape. My way is all accessories and decorative drawer pulls ( "what the f*** are pulls" ....a direct quote) After almost a month of living in an episode of HOARDERS...the kitchen edition, we have a beautiful, functional kitchen and our marriage is for the most part, intact. I guess in times of great adversity ( I can't find a fork ) you hang on to that person. When the road gets really rough ( how do you heat things up without a microwave) you stick together. After years of living with a broken dishwasher or actually being the broken dishwasher... here I sit...blogging AND doing the dishes...yes, it's the simple things in life!
Everything else: My waitress job is actually a welcomed change from being around kids all the time. Not that our staff is grown up by any means. But I love talking to people and bringing them food and making them happy ...(which is something that I do when I'm home ) only these strangers throw tons of money at me....not a bad gig. Not to mention there is bottle of Jack Daniels at arm's reach! So that's cool.
The moment I punch out on the last day of school....and I mean the moment, my mom is there, rubbing her hands together in anticipation of spending the summer with me.(By spending the summer I mean driving me and my sister crazy) I love my mom...I know so many people who have lost their parents and I am so lucky to have both of mine.....BUT ..."that is all I have to say about that"...thank you Forrest Gump. Guilt prevents me from going on. The irony of her telling me I work too hard while passively aggressively insisting I come pick her up to spend the day is priceless and she usually ends the trek by saying how much she enjoys my company and loves spending time with me. Yeah I'm a schmuck...but I'm a really tired schmuck. I have to remember that I will be there some day and I can see my kids doing rock/paper/scissors over who gets stuck with me....and the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon....everybody sing!!!
I could go on and on about my grandson...my lovey! He has gone from repeating little phrases to actually having conversations and making little jokes. It's an amazing thing being GAGA! We had great adventures this summer (part one) and it continues on to part two.
Part two consists of driving to New Jersey with this little guy and his mom for a fast and furious couple days at the shore. I can't think of anything better (well I do wish the rest of my kids could be there too). After another crazy, busy summer ...a day or two of ocean air sounds like a fabulous diversion to my upcoming school year (more to come about that shitstorm)!
I think of a mere 30 years ago...two KIDS hopped in the car and just took off to the ocean for a honeymoon. We landed in Cape Cod , a little north of where we are headed....but we always are drawn to the Atlantic and I never would have thought we'd be there 30 years later with a grandson...time flies when you're directing shows, re-decorating a house, serving drinks and food a couple nights a week, chasing an exhausting, yet amazing little 2 1/2 year old, taking care of ailing parents while trying to maintain a certain level of dignified immaturity.....just sayin
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Hot as Balls!
Yeah, I'm not really sure what that phrase means, but I love it and it does describe the weather the past week or so. Hot as Balls...I have a good idea what it means and I really don't want to think about it - I just like saying it!
Now I love this weather ...this is the weather I think about when I am scraping the ice off my car windows, knee deep in snow. This is the weather I think about when my car is in the furthest parking space from the store in mid December. This is the weather I think about when my back wheels are making that zzzz zzzz zzzz sound when I'm stuck in the snow bank at the end of the drive way. Got it? I love this weather...it's "hide the sharp knives" hot and I love watching the tempers flair!
Now I understand....especially when the humidity is 1000%, we all get a little nastier. But since I've kind of jumped feet first into my 50's, I like to think of it as leveling the playing field. I have this personal little heat wave all year round...thanks a lot menopause!
I do have to feel for the kids in our theater group. I think I have mentioned that we are attempting to perform
Jospeh and the blah blah bla ..Dreamcoat ( which, by the way, may be just Joseph! if we don't locate the technicolor son of a gun). Anyway, in this hot little theater we have these 11 sweaty brothers dancing and singing sometime with their 11 sweaty "wives". We haven't even put up any real numbers yet....when we do ....there will be about 45 of them, plus about 20 musicians, a choreographer, musical & assistant directors and pre-menopausal me! Oh and don't forget all the egos! Honestly, I love these kids. They are troopers. They give it their all every rehearsal ( can you tell it's early on in the process....I have scheduled a "melt down" no pun intended in about 2 weeks).
But honestly I do love this season...it's summer and it's summer musical season. ....
I used to wait all year for this time. You get to see all the people you really haven't seen for like 10 months and then you are practically joined at the hip with them for the next 2!! I still feel this way...someone recently commented that it seems to be "taking over my life" and I answered that it absolutely has. The obsession is the best part about it...eat sleep musical....We couldn't wait til rehearsal and when we cancelled a rehearsal ,I overheard one of my little actors say "awww I hate when I can't come here". That makes it all worth it -a zillion degrees and all.
But the heat paired with a bunch of these theater folk,dare I say, divas (and I mean that in a good way) that makes for some tense times. Everyone has great ideas of how certain things should look and sound. And they are all GREAT ideas and sometimes the Ado Annie in me comes out.and "I caint say no"....It's because there is passion behind these ideas, it's not that they just want it their way....it's the passion, the
heat that drives these people to show up every night so we can "put on a show". It's hard to say no to that passion! But I get paid the big bucks to make sure we have 200+ sweaty people for 4 shows walking out of that hot little theater thoroughly entertained ...at least $9 worth of entertained!
There is something about this season ...the sultriness ...the smoldering heat that makes people go to extremes...it's the extreme that I like I think...(so I cant say no and I like to go to extremes to those keeping score out there)
We all know that it is the the heat makes people...actors and other animals misbehave a bit. My favorite is when someone says something so mean and so rude and then comes back with..."sorry I'm just hot" ....like no one else is.
Now the only people I will let slide on that are the cooks that I work with at the restaurant. Man, its like working on the sun back there. So you have to be nice to the cooks....and while you're at it be nice to your servers- we work back there too and ...if you haven't learned that lesson yet -don't mess with the people that touch your food. So thank you Mr. I am more important than anyone else,
I will bring your 50 chicken wings out when they are ready...so you don't have to remind me that you ordered them/ask me where they are...I have been doing this for a long time, dude, I know how it works. You order...Cooks cook...I bring out...pretty simple asshole...sorry I'm just hot...
Thank God for air conditioning ....when it works...especially in your car. So Ms. I had to cut you off just to go 20 miles under the speed limit, my horn works way better than the air conditioner does....Is it getting hotter in here...
Yeah it is... hot as balls...Balls- while we are on the subject -is one of my favorite "swears" It's kind of kid friendly because they don't get it yet and it way less offensive than motherfucker. I always imagine that being my answer when James Lipton asks me what my favorite swear word is on Inside the Actor's Studio-
"It's motherfucker, James" .....yeah so ...I never grew up...remember ...I used to be one of those sweaty actors on stage ...now I'm the sweaty, pre-menopausal director ( which still gets looks and comments believe it or not ...woman director???) I think the reason I like the phrase hot as balls so much is that it reminds me of the origin of why I say "BALLS" when I get mad. I believe the quote is... "Balls, said the Queen, if I had them, I'd be King"...just sayin'
Now I love this weather ...this is the weather I think about when I am scraping the ice off my car windows, knee deep in snow. This is the weather I think about when my car is in the furthest parking space from the store in mid December. This is the weather I think about when my back wheels are making that zzzz zzzz zzzz sound when I'm stuck in the snow bank at the end of the drive way. Got it? I love this weather...it's "hide the sharp knives" hot and I love watching the tempers flair!
Now I understand....especially when the humidity is 1000%, we all get a little nastier. But since I've kind of jumped feet first into my 50's, I like to think of it as leveling the playing field. I have this personal little heat wave all year round...thanks a lot menopause!
I do have to feel for the kids in our theater group. I think I have mentioned that we are attempting to perform
Jospeh and the blah blah bla ..Dreamcoat ( which, by the way, may be just Joseph! if we don't locate the technicolor son of a gun). Anyway, in this hot little theater we have these 11 sweaty brothers dancing and singing sometime with their 11 sweaty "wives". We haven't even put up any real numbers yet....when we do ....there will be about 45 of them, plus about 20 musicians, a choreographer, musical & assistant directors and pre-menopausal me! Oh and don't forget all the egos! Honestly, I love these kids. They are troopers. They give it their all every rehearsal ( can you tell it's early on in the process....I have scheduled a "melt down" no pun intended in about 2 weeks).
But honestly I do love this season...it's summer and it's summer musical season. ....
I used to wait all year for this time. You get to see all the people you really haven't seen for like 10 months and then you are practically joined at the hip with them for the next 2!! I still feel this way...someone recently commented that it seems to be "taking over my life" and I answered that it absolutely has. The obsession is the best part about it...eat sleep musical....We couldn't wait til rehearsal and when we cancelled a rehearsal ,I overheard one of my little actors say "awww I hate when I can't come here". That makes it all worth it -a zillion degrees and all.
But the heat paired with a bunch of these theater folk,dare I say, divas (and I mean that in a good way) that makes for some tense times. Everyone has great ideas of how certain things should look and sound. And they are all GREAT ideas and sometimes the Ado Annie in me comes out.and "I caint say no"....It's because there is passion behind these ideas, it's not that they just want it their way....it's the passion, the
heat that drives these people to show up every night so we can "put on a show". It's hard to say no to that passion! But I get paid the big bucks to make sure we have 200+ sweaty people for 4 shows walking out of that hot little theater thoroughly entertained ...at least $9 worth of entertained!
There is something about this season ...the sultriness ...the smoldering heat that makes people go to extremes...it's the extreme that I like I think...(so I cant say no and I like to go to extremes to those keeping score out there)
We all know that it is the the heat makes people...actors and other animals misbehave a bit. My favorite is when someone says something so mean and so rude and then comes back with..."sorry I'm just hot" ....like no one else is.
Now the only people I will let slide on that are the cooks that I work with at the restaurant. Man, its like working on the sun back there. So you have to be nice to the cooks....and while you're at it be nice to your servers- we work back there too and ...if you haven't learned that lesson yet -don't mess with the people that touch your food. So thank you Mr. I am more important than anyone else,
I will bring your 50 chicken wings out when they are ready...so you don't have to remind me that you ordered them/ask me where they are...I have been doing this for a long time, dude, I know how it works. You order...Cooks cook...I bring out...pretty simple asshole...sorry I'm just hot...
Thank God for air conditioning ....when it works...especially in your car. So Ms. I had to cut you off just to go 20 miles under the speed limit, my horn works way better than the air conditioner does....Is it getting hotter in here...
Yeah it is... hot as balls...Balls- while we are on the subject -is one of my favorite "swears" It's kind of kid friendly because they don't get it yet and it way less offensive than motherfucker. I always imagine that being my answer when James Lipton asks me what my favorite swear word is on Inside the Actor's Studio-
"It's motherfucker, James" .....yeah so ...I never grew up...remember ...I used to be one of those sweaty actors on stage ...now I'm the sweaty, pre-menopausal director ( which still gets looks and comments believe it or not ...woman director???) I think the reason I like the phrase hot as balls so much is that it reminds me of the origin of why I say "BALLS" when I get mad. I believe the quote is... "Balls, said the Queen, if I had them, I'd be King"...just sayin'
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
A Few Good Men
I have been thinking about men lately....and not because of that 50 Shades of Whatever. I think about men a lot. So what...I have a lot of men in my life to think about. A husband, a dad, a son, a son-in-law, a grandson, co workers, friends and to top it off, I was in search of about a dozen or so guys who can sing and dance.
Yes it is theater season again and we decided to do Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat ...which requires in addition to the main character of Joseph, his 11 brothers! We did it...we found a dozen (and then some) talented young men to fill the bill which only means, I will be surrounded by even more men this summer! (Much more about my musical trial and tribulations to come...) So back to men
Maybe because it was just Father's Day ...maybe because I went to 3 wakes for 3 men. One was a grandfather, one dad from our school..one father of a dear friend who was also a war hero. All very sad and all got me thinking about the men in my life and men in general.
I don't claim to be an expert, but a few decades of observation and 30 years of marriage have led me to the conclusion of men...they are all alike! Young, old, gay, straight, any shape, size or color....men are all alike. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. There is some comfort in that I feel. I have had many conversations over coffee or stronger beverages about husbands or boy friends and many times my answer to them has been..."it's a man thing" More times than not...I have been right..."It's a man thing".
So what does that mean......the idea that men are only after one thing is true...but that one thing changes, it differs a bit with the man and the situation, but I will try to break it down
HUNGRY- EAT TIRED - SLEEP MISERABLE- POOP
(usually poop...sometimes this last emotion if you can call miserable an emotion involves s-e-x ...a shade of grey if you will). I know it sounds infantile but in my experience it helps to keep this in mind and it applies cradle to grave. My grandson and my husband are much easier to be around after they EAT SLEEP POOP ...(starring Julia Roberts...).
Proof: One time we had to deal with an insurance issue. I spoke to the insurance agent, I got all the info ...I made some decision or two that I was a little unsure about. So I called the Mr and told him what I had done/decided and he was very quite on the other end of the line.
ME:"Did I do the wrong thing...should I have done something different, you're not saying anything" HIM: "It's fine, but really have to go to the bathroom."
Your Honor...I rest my case!
Maybe this is not true with all men...but in my experience, it makes life easier if you get those three things out of the way first, then you can further investigate and they are sooooo different from girls it's kind of refreshing. Speaking as a mother. I have 2 daughters 1 son...now we all know how girls can be (that is a blog and a half) but having a boy in the middle gave me a little respite from GIRLWORLD.
Proof: My son had some guys over back when Texas Hold 'Em was all the rage. There were some words exchanged about some one cheating blah blah blah, voices got loud and there was some storming out. I was panicked. I was expected to spend the next day on the phone with some of the moms of these upset boys and I was trying to piece together how it all went down. The next day rolls around and there they are.. all the boys ...everyone of them back at my house, playing poker like nothing happened. Awesome! If this were one of my girls and a situation like that broke out...I would be dealing with weeks of phone calls and tears and probably an eating disorder or two. Holy shit! I love men!
Another cool thing about men is that my son and my husband are still friends with people they went to elementary school with. I have one, just one that I stay in touch with... Tammy- who used to ride bikes by boys houses with me and was by my side for my first encounter with a real man...Hubbell Gardner (aka Robert Redford in the Way We Were.) That perfect man in that perfect movie which we saw about 100 times and consequently "ruined romance for us" ...But it was those early days looking for a ''Hubbell" that made me love men!
I do ...I love men...which is why I am giving myself license to dish a little. I like the company of men...I prefer to work for and with men I get along with all the cooks (men) at the restaurant and share a room at school with a man....I kind of grew up as a "one of the guys" girls. (I'm "the you're so funny, hey, let's chug a beer and listen to this disgusting , offensive joke and who is your tall blonde friend? " girl) So I have always felt comportable around men. ....most of my friends and very best friends are men. I DO believe men and women can be friends (sorry to the "Billy Crystal" out there... I think I kind of do believe it)
But as much as I love men I hope everyone out there that you knows you have to love yourself before you can really love any man...or anything. I don't want to go all Oprah on you ...but you come first...then your man...(that's what she said...couldn't resist) But honestly, sometimes we lose ourselves in what our men want and drive ourselves crazy "over a guy" to quote Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. I love that movie too. She is a successful news producer whose world is shook up "over a guy"...now granted this guy was William Hurt. But it goes to show you how we can drive ourselves to drink because some man says or does something that cuts us to the core and we spend hours trying to shake it and figure it out what it all means and sometime the answer is very simple.
Sometimes our men just want to EAT SLEEP POOP and maybe a couple a shades of grey...just sayin
Yes it is theater season again and we decided to do Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat ...which requires in addition to the main character of Joseph, his 11 brothers! We did it...we found a dozen (and then some) talented young men to fill the bill which only means, I will be surrounded by even more men this summer! (Much more about my musical trial and tribulations to come...) So back to men
Maybe because it was just Father's Day ...maybe because I went to 3 wakes for 3 men. One was a grandfather, one dad from our school..one father of a dear friend who was also a war hero. All very sad and all got me thinking about the men in my life and men in general.
I don't claim to be an expert, but a few decades of observation and 30 years of marriage have led me to the conclusion of men...they are all alike! Young, old, gay, straight, any shape, size or color....men are all alike. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. There is some comfort in that I feel. I have had many conversations over coffee or stronger beverages about husbands or boy friends and many times my answer to them has been..."it's a man thing" More times than not...I have been right..."It's a man thing".
So what does that mean......the idea that men are only after one thing is true...but that one thing changes, it differs a bit with the man and the situation, but I will try to break it down
HUNGRY- EAT TIRED - SLEEP MISERABLE- POOP
(usually poop...sometimes this last emotion if you can call miserable an emotion involves s-e-x ...a shade of grey if you will). I know it sounds infantile but in my experience it helps to keep this in mind and it applies cradle to grave. My grandson and my husband are much easier to be around after they EAT SLEEP POOP ...(starring Julia Roberts...).
Proof: One time we had to deal with an insurance issue. I spoke to the insurance agent, I got all the info ...I made some decision or two that I was a little unsure about. So I called the Mr and told him what I had done/decided and he was very quite on the other end of the line.
ME:"Did I do the wrong thing...should I have done something different, you're not saying anything" HIM: "It's fine, but really have to go to the bathroom."
Your Honor...I rest my case!
Maybe this is not true with all men...but in my experience, it makes life easier if you get those three things out of the way first, then you can further investigate and they are sooooo different from girls it's kind of refreshing. Speaking as a mother. I have 2 daughters 1 son...now we all know how girls can be (that is a blog and a half) but having a boy in the middle gave me a little respite from GIRLWORLD.
Proof: My son had some guys over back when Texas Hold 'Em was all the rage. There were some words exchanged about some one cheating blah blah blah, voices got loud and there was some storming out. I was panicked. I was expected to spend the next day on the phone with some of the moms of these upset boys and I was trying to piece together how it all went down. The next day rolls around and there they are.. all the boys ...everyone of them back at my house, playing poker like nothing happened. Awesome! If this were one of my girls and a situation like that broke out...I would be dealing with weeks of phone calls and tears and probably an eating disorder or two. Holy shit! I love men!
Another cool thing about men is that my son and my husband are still friends with people they went to elementary school with. I have one, just one that I stay in touch with... Tammy- who used to ride bikes by boys houses with me and was by my side for my first encounter with a real man...Hubbell Gardner (aka Robert Redford in the Way We Were.) That perfect man in that perfect movie which we saw about 100 times and consequently "ruined romance for us" ...But it was those early days looking for a ''Hubbell" that made me love men!
I do ...I love men...which is why I am giving myself license to dish a little. I like the company of men...I prefer to work for and with men I get along with all the cooks (men) at the restaurant and share a room at school with a man....I kind of grew up as a "one of the guys" girls. (I'm "the you're so funny, hey, let's chug a beer and listen to this disgusting , offensive joke and who is your tall blonde friend? " girl) So I have always felt comportable around men. ....most of my friends and very best friends are men. I DO believe men and women can be friends (sorry to the "Billy Crystal" out there... I think I kind of do believe it)
But as much as I love men I hope everyone out there that you knows you have to love yourself before you can really love any man...or anything. I don't want to go all Oprah on you ...but you come first...then your man...(that's what she said...couldn't resist) But honestly, sometimes we lose ourselves in what our men want and drive ourselves crazy "over a guy" to quote Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. I love that movie too. She is a successful news producer whose world is shook up "over a guy"...now granted this guy was William Hurt. But it goes to show you how we can drive ourselves to drink because some man says or does something that cuts us to the core and we spend hours trying to shake it and figure it out what it all means and sometime the answer is very simple.
Sometimes our men just want to EAT SLEEP POOP and maybe a couple a shades of grey...just sayin
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