Trick or Treat...witches

I love Halloween.  I don't know what it is about this holiday...holiday?  I believe it is a holiday, at least for retailers and people who decorate their houses.  It seems to be a huge business for Haunted Houses or Fright Worlds and Corn Mazes (I call it Maize).  Halloween paraphernalia is out right after the Back to School supplies are gone which, I guess now, is July. But I do love this season.
Maybe it's the costumes or possibly and most likely the candy (fun sized  butterfingers..yes please.. 3 or 4 of them)  I know it's not the horror movies and the desire to be scared.  Of course my definition of scary has change since I was a kid.  It used to be monsters in your house and noises and ghosts.  Now its any time one of my kids say ...."I have something to tell you " or  "what's this thing on my neck..." Those phrases make my blood run cold and grays my hair like the bride of Frankenstein.   Monsters and noises at night???...bring 'em on. I've looked in the face of fear, my friends, and it's called a "pre unlimited texting cell phone bill". Although I'm still not crazy about that whole under the bed scenario...I've seen too many movies.  I read somewhere that Stephen King won't have any part of his body hang over the bed when he sleeps.  Hey, who can argue with the man that thought up those creepy twins in The Shining.  And I have to admit I still can't bring myself  to watch The Exorcist....never have, never will.

So I think I love the dressing up part of Halloween that I love.  It's a chance to be someone or something else for the day. I never wanted to be a nurse but it was fun to dress up as one.  See, I work at an elementary school and it is a great excuse to "have to " dress up.  It's surprising how many people detest this day.  Of course at school, it's about a week of sugar induced ADHD and kids talking about what horror movie they are "allowed" to watch. Mind you, the the school only goes up to 5th grade (about 10 year olds) and the little darlings are talking about watching Saw.  Seriously, Saw???  I  refuse to watch that. The scary part is kids that can't remember that a quarter is worth 25 cents are probably memorizing the tortures scenes for future use.
Anyway, I do love the dressing up.  I think it comes from my childhood. I do believe my mom was one of those who detested that day. In those days my choices for Halloween costumes were limited to hippie, gypsy or Indian (sorry, it was politically correct to use that word back then).   Those three were interchangeable ...give or take some beads and move around the head band.   My sister and I were one of those 3 things every year from ages 7-12.  I guess it didn't matter because Halloween in Buffalo usually meant a winter coat over your costume anyway. 
As I got older and was able to create my own costumes...my world opened up to a wind up doll, Space waitress and on to Miss Yvonne to my boyfriend/now husband's Pee Wee Herman (pre- masturbation in the theatre Pee Wee Herman) and I even dyed my very black hair very red and we were Lucy & Ricky Ricardo.  We had parties where everyone dressed up.  I used to love to see people going about their party business costumes and all.  Where else can you see a bloody shot up gangster having an very in depth conversation with a full grown Winnie the Pooh.   I mean a real serious conversation.   I would also like when you were driving and there was a bunny driving next to you....or a Star Wars Storm Trooper ...or a clown....well that last one is horrifying .  It was amazing how many costumes were so inventive and sometime inappropriate (funny inappropriate, that is....read on) Plus, we used to hate the girls that would come to these parties in "pretty costumes" as we used to call them.  Now it seems to be the norm.  No matter what you dress up as ...it's sexy.
Vampire....a sexy vampire .  Little red riding hood....sexy little red riding hood. ...a nun...a sexy nun?...sexy Cinderella....sexy witch. It's like a fetish episode of HBO's Real Sex. Gives new meaning to Trick or Treat now doesn't it.  
But another reason I love Halloween is that we moved into our house on that day.  I remember watching our new neighbors looking at us .... a Black Cat walking  up the drive way with a little Snow White and an even littler Batman.  (my son was Batman for about 4 years, by choice though).
My kids, as you may have guessed, loved and still love Halloween.  I recall sitting in a dance studio in May when my girls got their costumes and thinking....all right!!!....awesome Halloween costumes!!! They had 2 or 3 costumes ...indoor ones and out door Buffalo Halloween ones.  Ninja Turtle, Jasmine from Aladdin, Little Bo Peep. Phantom of the Opera, a parrot, a viking...the list went on and one. I'm proud to say they still dress up and the costumes are all pretty clever.  They don't get candy anymore unfortunately...but there is some kind of  liquid treat involved.
So I will always have a fondness for this holiday.  Now I get to relive all the fun of carving pumpkins and weeding through candy with the next generation of costume loving kids (my grandson is Tigger this year, but at any time of year will walk around the house with a dish towel tucked in his shirt so he can be Superman). 
And speaking of candy...don't give out those gross black and orange wrapped whatevers. What are those???...or worse..apples (remember the razor blade in apples urban legand) or the very worst....pennies. You might as well give out eggs and toilet paper because that's what your house will be covered with if you give out pennies!  I am big on bubble gum....and huge hand-fulls of bubble gum at that (if I buy chocolate, I  have found...it will never make it to Halloween, no matter where I hide it... so I have learned to buy the stuff that will make it to the 31st.) So whatever you give...just don't be skimpy.  It's all about filling the pillow case...it's all about the hand fulls...and that's what you get when you come to my house and always will even when I'm too old to dress up in anything but a house coat...a sexy house coat.....just saying

Live, Laugh, Love.....especially Laugh

Well, it has been kind of a rough week for this usually cheerful/cynical girl.  I lost a good friend.  I lost one about 9 years ago -I lost one about 9 days ago and for some reason there is a connection.
My friend that I lost years ago was also my sister in law...but she was certainly my friend.  She lost a battle with breast cancer and this being "Pink-tober" ...that feeling was in the air. Everywhere you look is pink...and that's cool...it's awareness ( yes I know ...I'm over due for my mamo...I'm going ...I'm going).  The fact that everytime we tried to take a step of the Breast Cancer walk...it poured...it teamed ...it was very clear to me that she was in the air...
"Quick- everyone-under the tent"
 "Okay...it's slowing down...let's walk" ...... rain...rain...RAIN!!!!
"Quick- everyone- under the tent"
Finally I thought...I don't think she wants us to walk!  - Okay, read the signs any way you want...but if you knew her, that rain her was saying ...go ...go have breakfast...go watch the Bills game...so we did.

I get those signs all the time.  On the anniversary of that awful day that she left this earth...I say to the heavens (where she most definitely is)"Hope I see you today"...and I always do.   To some people they were just little gifts ( oh by the way did I mention it was Christmas time when she passed away ...seriously Christmas time!??!! )To some people it was just an angel ornament...a pink scarf  ...a little figurine collectible -but to me it was a big hello from my sister in law...my friend that I miss so much. 
The best was this past year.  I was waiting ...emotionally looking around every corner...waiting for my hello.  But she is tricky my sister in law, my friend... I was getting gifts here and there ,but nothing that would resemble her hello  ( although the bottles of "spirits" -pun intended- were appreciated).  Then my phone buzzed...who is texting me???....forgetting that my own sister was awaiting word about the sex of the baby her daughter was carrying....I check my phone and all I see are two words...THINK PINK!!!
Cue waterworks...so happy that my sister was going to have a granddaughter and experience the joy (that I know first hand ) of being a grandma...but with those two words I got my hello and I would like to think a little intervention...My niece was so hoping for a girl...and yeah, yeah.. I know how it works XY chromosomes and all that shit....but in my heart- my sister in law, my friend worked her magic.  She was like magic... she truly did live-laugh and love and we did that together...especially laugh! 
I can remember after every show her daughter did or my family did we would chat for hours about it. We would talk about what was great...how great our kids were...how everyone else sucked ...and how we would have done it differently....it was really one of the best parts of doing the show other than the actual doing of the show!!! I miss that more that anyone will ever know
.....so here's my connection.
 Last week, I lost a friend.  He was a show friend ...but so, so much more.  There were people that you did shows with...and then there was Tom.  Now I haven't heard from Tom for almost 30 years and one day last year I got a FaceBook message from him saying "I found you".  That was it...we were back!
Say what you want about FaceBook....it's a soap box...a self serving one at that....a place to put pictures of yourself looking all fancy or most of the time looking like a jackass...but to me it will always be the vehicle that got me back in touch with Tom.  We saw each other quite a few times over which turned out to be his last bit of time on earth .  But who knew... we were back...we acted like it was 30 years ago. True, it wasn't a catch phrase back then but we certainly did live laugh and love...especially laugh.  Even just recently at a 3 hour lunch...we laughed... I could always count on him for a laugh and at the most inappropriate things...my personal favorite things to laugh at.. for example..(and I'm really, truly sorry if I offend anyone )  the 911 call of the women who owned the monkey who attacked that other woman's face.  He did an awesome impression of that awful screeching phone call...
 "he's killing her"
"who ma'am??"
 "MY MONKEY"
...so sorry... again  so so sorry ....with heads hung in shame, we both agreed how horrible that event had to have been...but the phone call ...it made us both giggle a bit...alright a lot...but that was Tom.
So when he sent me a text on the opening night of The Wiz and so eloquently quoted a line from a Wiz song... so perfectly timed that I could tearfully share it with the cast...I was touch but not surprised ...that was my friend Tom. 
I will miss him more than anyone will ever know.   And like with my sister in law, my other friend, I will look for signs.  I may have already gotten one.  The night of Tom's wake, I was on the computer playing some mind numbing game and looking at some old pic (okay some stalking). I was on the computer literally for hours when I decided to hop on to his page...the page where I learned about his passing and I was able to read all the tributes to him and see his face once more ... just then, my computer froze.  After hours of no computer problems at all...it froze...froze on his page...on his name...on his face. To some people it may have been a technological glich...to me it was hello....just saying.

do your job...do your f***ing job-part one

I know, kind of a harsh title ...and the more I thought about it, I realized this may have to be a covered in multiple parts...a mini series if you will. But for now I am going to focus on the job/ the lost art of being a parent. I have been a parent for 337 months (parents always talk in terms of months...don't do the math it's really 28 years 1 month). I remember my non-parent friends condescendingly saying "it's the hardest job in the world". ...ouch-it was like a verbal pat on the head... okay, go away now. I would obediently smile and nod because they had NO IDEA. The thing that made it the hardest job is that is a 24 hour job...no breaks,no lunch hour no contact with other non-diaper wearing human beings (hold your comments that's a whole other blog) Yes-that made it tough, but the job itself is pretty simple. Take care of your kids...food, shelter -yeah yeah yeah...love, of course, but talk to them, teach them, you know abc's - 123's - do re mi's if you're feeling Julie Andrews-y.
Here's what got me started on this rant- school started a few weeks ago.  We are all back for another round...and like every September, we have a whole new crop of kindergartners, cute as can be  Not too many criers this year ( kids, not parents, parent always cry. I remember I was the one clicking my heels, by the way) as a matter of fact, they seemed pretty happy to be at school.
But then comes the real part of school, not just the new back pack and light up sneakers ( I secretly want a pair)but the abc's and 123's, the sit down and raise your hand and don't talk back to the teacher or any other adult for that matter ( aren't you supposed to be kind of afraid of adults when you're 5...???) Well some kids get it...some kids always get it- but then there's the one ( waaayyy more than one unfortunately) that do not and when you are 5 years old, I think I have to say the parents are the ones that don't get it. 

I mean seriously, what have you been doing with these kids for the last five years!!!  Now, I hear you all chiming in- the times they are a changin -MJ...people need to work they can't stay home with their kids like you did ( I worked part time-so no we didn't go to Disney and yes I'm still in debt) these parents are young ( I was 23..first time using no birth control = baby...who knew) some of these kids are raised by their grandparents  (bring it ,fellow grandmas, bring it).  Enough I say.  There is no excuse for your children not being ready for year one of their long trip on the education train. Where are all the braggy kindergarten  parents? It used to be  "my kids can read at this grade level already"...now it's " my kid is on this many sports teams."
Is it to much to ask that letters and numbers be a part of a toddlers life....are they plopped in front of tv? If so...there are shows that can teach those things if you aren't willing (or able) to. 
But how about right from wrong.  Sometime if I tell a student "no" they look at me as if it's the first time they've ever heard it...it very well may be.  Also, do kids not play game anymore.. not video type games..but like CandyLand ...Go Fish games..and if they do, do they always win- because not every one can win.
Not every one can be Ultimate Supreme ---can we talk about Toddlers & Tiaras for just a second. 

Honestly, what is the matter with these people. Not the people that watch the show (me) but the people who think it's a fabulous idea to spray tan their 3 year old, glue false eyelashes on them and force them to do their fat-ass choreography in front of what I am assuming are child beauty pageant survivors who are now the judges. Judges who give points based on the height of their hair and the amount of glitter they have on and if they wink seductively enough and do that creepy dimple thing with their fingers on their cheeks.  Oh and the flippers...false teeth!!!! false teeth on kids because sometimes (read this with sarcasm in your voice)their teeth fall out around age 6 or 7 ...unacceptable in fat ass beauty pageant land.  Sorry, I must have had one too many pixie sticks and too much mountain dew mixed with energy drink...that is actually a "trick" used on the show to keep the kid's energy up....last time I looked -don't 3-7 year olds have a shit ton of energy.....
Okay...that is the extreme, to borrow their words, the ultimate supreme of bad parenting. but it is becoming more and more evident as years go on....I don't want to sound like the "these kids these days" kind of old lady...but c'mon really it isn't that hard. Read a book or two, count the red cars that go by, and maybe just say no sometimes. 
We are all doing the best we can I know, but we can do a little better when there are kids involved, Looking back I know I could have too. I'm know I've made my mistakes. But all these years later I have a teacher, an x ray tech and a budding chef..but most of all I have three really good, solid people, kind, decent, good work ethic etc. which I don't take all the credit for ( because when you do you then have to take the blame when they do dumb-ass stuff too).  So do your f***ing job....it still isn't that hard. I am definitely way more tired but ..I'm working 2 sometimes 3 jobs...I obviously have time to watch really embarrassing reality tv ... but when I babysit my 19 month old grandson...he can recognize the number 3 when he sees it...genius?.... just saying

so live your life...

I wasn't going to blog about today, the 10th anniversary.  I feel almost unworthy to talk about how I remember every minute of that day- what I was doing - where I was....  I also don't want to be one of those flag waving, red white and blue phonies who want to publicly thank those who gave their lives, etc....(you phonies know who you are). But the fact of the matter is my life changed that day like everyone else.   My seemingly insignificant (by comparison, that is) life changed in very significant ways. 

Like ten years ago,  it's the first week of school, the weather is a beautiful mixture of the warmth of the sun and the crispness of fall.  My dad, who was in the hospital  10 years ago, is ailing, thankfully not hospital worthy, but ailing.  Then, I had a kid in college, one in high school and one in middle school.  Today my children are still in various stages of  life .  I am ten years older although I don't feel it nor do I act it, quite the contrary...(another blog)
So what's different?   What's different is now I live my life.  I'm not sure I did before. But I do now.  In the past ten years I have had losses that would have devastated me...and joys that I can't even find the appropriate words to describe.  I wonder how I would have handled the good, the bad and the fugly had my life not been changed that day.

I would like to think that I am thankful for every day that I have on this earth...good or bad...(but if any one is listening ....I can use more of the good ones) Unfortunately I don't think too many people feel that way.  Oh sure, right after and maybe a year or so after and probably every September 11th (aforementioned phonies) people were all about the random acts of kindness, sharing, caring and USA USA USA.....but I have noticed, because that's what I do....people right back to their old tricks.  Entitlement, greed,  inconsideration and complacency and ME ME ME.  Don't say you haven't noticed it either..
my contract says I get a bonus of a bazillion dollars even though I ran the company into the ground and all these peons lost everything...ME ME ME....or I screwed up your dental claim but I don't care enough about you to straighten it out...you do it yourself and get back to me but by that time some new rule would have been to into place... so sorry or why should I have to pay 5 dollars more for my insurance so someone else can have health care...USA USA ....c'mon everyone...
Now I'm not saying I haven't slipped up myself and cut someone/flipped someone off while driving  or slipped into my " financial why me"  mode...I'm not a F***ing robot, you know . But on a whole....I think I live my life...even if that life sucks you in with the day in day out horseshit ( I love that word so better than bull shit ...just fyi)

But once in a while something happens to make you stop and think ....what if this is the last day I get...what if there is another horrifying day like that one around the corner.  I wish I can take credit for this line...I can't remember who said it or even where I read it. I would like to give that person a nod...but they said and I am paraphrasing....Before that day, an attack was the last thing on my mind, now it's the first... my apologies to the author for the re- wording...but that always stuck with me because it's true.  Being Italian we are expect the worst...Hell, we were raised that way and yes, we worry about it before it even (and usually never) happens...but no one expected to see those images that are tattooed on our brains for good.

It could be a national tragedy or a personal one.... you really don't know what scary monster is out there.....so live your life, live it like it's your last time around the dance floor...like it's last call.....like that last, very best kiss.....I guess you can kind of see what I'll be up to on the last day...just saying

vacation...beeeaches!!!

Yes...after a summer of rehearsals/shows/babysitting/computer classes/waitressing  or a combination of on most days...I took a vacation!!!  My family went up to the beach...Crystal Beach...a place where I spent a good deal of my childhood. 
I have wonderful memories of this beach town.  I remember spending what seemed like endless days with my sister and my cousins, days of catching what I'm sure were disease ridden toads, swinging on the weeping willow swing, throwing stones at passing cars (my cousin's idea) sneaking popsicles in the morning (again, my cousin) and playing crazy 8's with my beloved  little cigar smoking "Papa", who gave me my first nickname "Little One", which was funny because I don't think he was even 5 foot himself.
Every once in a while we would go to the amusement park.  Anyone who grew up in this area has the same Crystal Beach Park flashbacks of the following: The Magic Carpet (where you actually got electric shock...fun or what), Yellow Roller Coaster, The Comet ( that I was finally tall enough to go on just before they tore the park down)The Jungle Ride with that disgusting "water" and Laugh in the Dark ( although I think it was spelled Laff... oh Canada) There was the unmistakable laugh of that poorly dressed  woman in the front of the ride (sometimes I think I see incarnations of "Laughing Sal" in the oddest places) and of course those Crystal Beach suckers...mmmmm peanut suckers...I think I still have some caught in my back molars.
But I don't remember going to the beach much now that I think about it.  I know we did because of  lovely/horrifying home movies of my sister and I in matching red bathing suits, but I don't remember. I also don't remember the adults at the time really enjoying themselves.  That is a shame ...especially now that I am the so called adult this time around.  I mean I cooked and cleaned  our cottage like a good adult  but I also spent hours at the beach...reading, wading...but mostly just sitting....if that sounds boring to you, re-read my first sentence. 
But  my favorite part of the vacation was spending priceless time together with my equally busy family. Also the fact that not only am I the "adult"now..I am now the grandma!!!! 
These were picture postcard days that I spent with my grandson, my lovey, my little brown eyed boy....little bits of time that I will never forget or ever have to embellish because they.  were. perfect.  If I'm going to be a grandma...this is the grandma I want to be. We chased seagulls on the beach,  we splashed barefoot in puddles in the road after the one welcomed rainy day.  We had candy for lunch!!!!    I don't remember things like that with my grandma.  I'm sure we did stuff...I remember her cooking. She was a great cook! But I guess I really wasn't her favorite ..Legend has it I broke a  bowl of hers when I was three or something like that....That must have been some bowl because I heard about it most of my life. 
My family was big on favoritism when it came to firstborns which, by no fault of my own, took me out of the game years before I was born.  Oh well. So maybe there was candy for lunch at one time...just not for me.
But I do have some fond memories of my grandmother before she passed away at almost 90...she must have forgiven me about the bowl or forgotten (probably the latter...dementia). She was very, very sweet and funny at the end....But I want to be sweet and funny with my grandchildren now.  So hopefully as our family grows and my grandchildren (no matter the birth order) spend summers with their "Ga" ( who also never made it to 5 foot)...there will be sweet and funny memories for them and they will think fondly of summers the same way I did and still do.  Even if it is only a week...I bet we can squeeze a lot of memories in...like candy for lunch and oh yeah, did I mention he may have tasted pop for the first time....just saying

kiss today goodbye...

I find it kind of funny that my first show blog was titled after a song from Chorus Line (remember, God I hope I get it...) and here is my last show blog and I'm using a song from the same show. Believe me, I didn't do it on purpose, I'm not that insightful nor clever, but it is fitting.  If you don't know or have never seen Chorus Line...first of all...shame on you.  I remember being obsessed with that show in high school and getting the album (ha ha album...at least I didn't say 8 track) for a graduation present.  I also remember someone, in a greater economic household (rich kid) than the one I grew up, in getting tickets to see the show on Broadway. What. Ever...I got there eventually, like 8 years later, standing room tickets...but I got there!  Anyway the show is about the love of being a dancer/ being in shows and how these people couldn't dream of doing anything else but. What would you do if you couldn't do this anymore...maybe, grow up...nnnnaaaahhh!
The whole process of the summer show kind of brought me back to that feeling.  How else would I spend the bulk of my summer. Why wouldn't I spend every night in a hot, stuffy auditorium, dealing with sound issues, actor issues, lighting issues, actor issues, costume issues  and constanly putting out little fires (not literally, thank God)?   I do it because of the love and because of the events of  these last 3 nights...the show nights!!! 
Opening night!!!!...my stomach is in knots...not little shoelace knots, big rope knots that you have to be a boy scout or a sailor to untie....The dress rehearsal went kind of "eh"....some tech problems, some lack luster performances but after 6, count 'em, 6 yummy rum drinks and a couple of shots I realized....I've done all I can. (slur the words this time) I've done all I can....
All three shows were just incredible and so well received by our practically sold out crowds (small auditorium = sold out shows)  People were coming out of the rafters to say "this was one of the best shows we ever saw"  "I go to these things all the time and this was the greatest one I can remember seeing"  "that was so creative, who build the sets, who does the dances, where do the costumes come from?" "Where do you find these kids with these unbelievable voices?" "This  was so good , it must have been so much work...I give you a lot of credit"
I can only take credit for surrounding myself with great people who know what they're doing and maybe a bit or two on stage that got a laugh. (what can I say...I know funny). The closing night finale ...the song "Home" which gets to me anyway...got me good that night.  Seeing all those faces on stage, hearing their beautiful voices with the beautiful orchestra behind them was one of those moments.  Thirty-five years ago...yes 35 (what's worse reading it spelled out or seeing the numbers)...I was one of those kids on stage having that moment.  Not to be schmaltzy..it truly changed my life.  I became one of those people that had to find some way to include the love of the stage in my life.  It seems like I'm a carrier too because I've passed it on to my kids ...and our pets evidently. Louie/Toto who would not get off the stage the last night of the show.
I'm very lucky to be able to do what I love to do and to help these kids find their way.  I heard some comments over the last few days of how this experience has changed their life and this opportunity has given them so much more confidence in themselves and how they feel like they are now a part of something bigger.  Well if that isn't "what I did for love"...I don't know what is.  
So there you have it ..."point me toward tomorrow."  There will  be another show next summer...but for now I guess I will have to think of some new topics to blog about.  The fact that I work at a school and also in a restaurant will supply me with some fodder I'm sure.  Plus, I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter AND a gr gr grandmother(still hard to believe and to say out loud) ...there's volumes right there. Not to mention that I on a daily basis I shake my fist at the heavens because of some moron who refuses to go after I've waved them on at a 4 way stop sign that they were clearly at before I was but has to, in turn, wave me on even though they were there first...OY!...we got  TONS to talk about....just saying.

like no business I know....

It's show time folks....how do you like that.  I knew it was coming, I had it on my calendar and on my "to do" list......this week, don't forget to: buy toothpaste, pay car insurance, put on 3 shows.
I think we may be ready....but I digress.
Last Saturday we had our all day / first day with costumes and technical rehearsal.  Okay..house lights down, overture ...sounds great..... aaaaaaaand go. 
I can't see the actors
Well they are not standing where the lights are
Then put some more lights on
There aren't any more lights
I know there are....I've seen them...what I don't see  ARE THE ACTORS!!!!!
So instead of doing the entire show stage right where all the lights are.....let's move some things around, shall we.
DONE

Why is the yellow brick road/forest backdrop in the middle of Emerald City?
There is no place else to put it and you okayed it that it should say on
(God, what else did I say okay to..?)
Well I don't like it ....can we cover it with green ...you know emerald green...like the city
I guess we can get some material and fly it but the bar will show when we drop it down
So the bar will show...the jig is up kids, people know it's not really Oz...it's community theatre.
DONE

When Dorothy and company (the Fab Four as I call them) goes to meet the Wiz....where is the gatekeeper going to be....wasn't he going to be like a jack in the box...keeping with our toy theme?
We can't find a box big enough for him...
Can we use the big chair we have and cover it?
We would have to cover half of it and then have someone take it apart for the next scene
Hey, that window set that was built for the first scene with Uncle Henry and Aunt Em...can we maybe
use that ...its green and with the Emerald City sign....maybe
DONE

So that was Saturday....I went home to shave my head but decided to color all the greys out of my hair ...
So Monday....  t minus 3 days.....
WE HAVE LIGHTS....WE HAVE EMERALD CITY....WE HAVE A GATEKEEPER SET
Thank you Thank you Thank you theater gods....and theater mortals (our set builder in particular)
I definitely have a little less of a stomach ache. And you know what else happened....
WE HAVE A LION!!!!
Our "little lion man" was told day one of rehearsal that he was moved up from chorus boy to lead when our
original lion was unable to commit to the show.  Day after day - week after week..it was "try it like this"
or "roar like that" , "you have to give it just a little more"  "what can I do to help you...maybe when you get your costume on"...
Well  it was clearly my awesome direction and leadership (sarcasm) or most likely it was in him all along
but I think it was just SHOW WEEK.....he's a LION.  I kind of want to cry, he is that good!
He is now on the same level as the rest of the Fab Four, who are kind of more seasoned performers (all under the age of 21 that is) I can't be prouder of the four of them and the work they've done and it's not just because they are the "leads".  It's something that's in them and I can see it in a few others too.

I hadn't planned on giving THE SPEECH yet,  but on Monday I felt I had to.  THE SPEECH is about respect...the obvious:
Respect the directorate (you'd think that'd be a given) all the directorate or any adult who has volunteered countless hours for that matter. Here's an example, if the assistant director gives a direction ...do it ...he is just a "taller, lankier " version of me (his words)...so listen to him!...
Respect the crew and orchestra ...we are no where without them ...
Respect the venue..our small, sweaty, semi-equipt home...we are LUCKY to be there..so keep it clean, pick up after yourselves and other if you have to. 
But most of all respect the craft.  Respect why we are all here. Respect the love we have for this "business". Respect that feeling, you know, the one we don't talk about but I know we all have.  It absolutely takes my breath away and I never want that feeling to go away. To watch a show is one thing, but to be a part of this process is amazing. To take it from the angst of auditions to the curtain call (which makes me cry...every time, don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my image) is a roller coaster of indescribable emotions.
Respecting the craft is respecting yourself and your fellow cast members.  We are so lucky to have "this" inside of us. Others would rather die than to perform in front of a crowd of people...we would die not to. There's no people like show people....

So I still have a bit of a stomach ache and less grey hair and I know at this point it is kind of out of my hands.  I did get my annual back handed compliment though..."I can't believe you pulled this off..it's actually really good..."(um, thanks.) So that being said...I guess we're ready to go.. so, let's go on with the show ...just saying.