So here it is New Year's Eve Eve...and I feel compelled to write my last blog of 2011. Even as I type I am wondering where am I going with this...and I am kind of thinking the same for the next year...where am I going with this?
Well let's take on the easy one first...what to blog blog blog about....the year in review perhaps? Yeah- like all years, 2011 had its ups and it had its downs but all in all it was a very good year ( I hope everyone sang that last part). Boy- did it go fast though. If this is how fast all the years are going to go by....I better concentrate on more than blogging!
This year was a year of some firsts....my sweet grandson's first birthday and he is even more so the shining light of my life.
With that same feeling in mind, I was so thrilled to see my sister enjoy the feeling of being a grandma as her daughter had a daughter. Even though no one warned me...I was happy to share with her the concept of the "new layer of worry" that comes with the totally overwhelming joy you feel as a grandparent! I feel it is my duty to warn grandmas-to-be (especially Italian ones) to expect a punch in the stomach.
I realized it myself when my daughter was in the labor room and I was in there for some support ( I wasn't there for the delivery ...I couldn't take that moment away from her and her husband...plus... a c-section..um... no thanks) While I was in her room, I was watching the beeps of the machines that I knew nothing about (but it also seemed the nurses were fumbling over the new computerized system too).......those beeps don't seem right to me...which one is the baby ...which one is hers...it was then I realized as I prayed ...that if anything happened...I mean ..that is MY baby having a baby...POOF- along with the birth of my grandson was the birth of the new layer of worry !!! Maybe you have to be Italian to get this paranoid way of thinking---my sister - she gets- I mean, she's my sister !
As life goes -there were some losses. A very dear friend, gone way too young... I miss him every day and will try to keep his memory alive with my theater kids...(by the way...2012 will be an AMAZING TECHNICOLOR year....yay! MJ directs a show blog part 2 coming this summer to a computer near you .....) But as I look back- yeah there was injury and illness...the good won..thank goodness!
Some Goodness of the year included
-playing Yatzee with my kids at our cottage ...all three ...in the same place for a whole night and the stand up surfing the next day and lauging until it hurt!
-securing a home for my summer show kids
-having those same kids come through for me and our town at a toy drive for the community center that houses us!
-my daughter graduating from college /low point - my idea of buying her an idiot dog as a gift...although Louie made a great Toto.
-of course my train trip with my sweet boy...that will be the highlight of many many years!
-walking around NYC with some of my favorite people in the world on a beautiful fall day
-the whole Christmas season....teaching a little boy Jingle Bells etc....decorating the (dont touch the tree) ...watching him open gifts...getting the ho ho whole idea of Santa but also singing Happy Birthday to Jesus (I wish there was a font to relate how he says Jesus because it is awesome!!)
And that brings us to New Years Eve Eve...and where am I going with this?
Resolutions? Nah..I break those before my head hits the pillow on New Years Day...No diets, no exercise routines...no trying not to swear so much ...WTF- I'll save that last one for Lent! So what's a girl (hah) to do to be a better person in 2012? No weight loss/diet regimen is going to do it...that's external...although there is a pair of jeans I would like to fit into again.....but let's concentrate on the inside. The person inside the those really, really, REALLY tight jeans- What can I do to be better... we all can be better in some way or another right? So let's do it....
Lets ALL be better!!! ...let's be considerate, let's take time for each other - let's not wait for someone else to call.... you call to make plans with friends...let's not be so money oriented...I learned this holiday that no amount of gifts or money spent can replace the look on Coop's face when he found M&M's in his stocking that Santa promised to bring him!
Let's be better! Let's make each other laugh...let's smile more and stop complaining so much...let's appreciate what we have and who we are. Let's be better- we can do it
...and let's not let the little things get to us...like those slow ass drivers who only speed up to make the light that you get caught at...or the people who call and call and call to remind you that your credit card payment is due in 2 weeks ....or incompetency on soooo many levels ..from doctors that don't call back when they say they will to the Tim Horton's people that don't get that black coffee means no cream and no sugar... or those FU**ING Kardashians...enough already with those no talents morons...hey so what.. I got a big ass too...just sayin...Happy New Year!!!!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Buses, Trains and Automobiles
So I traveled across the state with a 20 month old and lived to blog about it! I loved every minute of if...well almost every minute. Before I get too detailed about this little adventure, let me just say there are two kind of people in this world. People who appreciate children ....and everyone else. Now let it be clear that I have most definitely asked hostesses in restaurants to move me to a different table if I am seated near children. That doesn't put me in Column B...the everyone else column.... I like children, I work with children and have for 17 years. I never planned to, my degree in communications and public relations was never put to actual use because of my own children...but life happens and everything happens for a reason. (Apparently the reason is I can make less money working in a school than I can in an ad firm.) But what ever....there are two kinds of people but I guess Column A can be broken up even further...1. Loves kids and 2. Loves WELL BEHAVED kids...which is why I usually ask to have my seat moved. That being said, my little companion falls in the "well behaved" group...for real...not grandma real either.
On to the trip. The reason for the trip in the first place, was to take my grandson to Albany to see his mom who was there on business and then the three of us to travel for a side trip to NYC.
The first leg of the trip is all me!
We walked in to the train station in Buffalo to begin our adventure. He was so excited...woo woo (-along with the arm pump )..let's wait for the train. We were greeted with some genuine smiles and some "oh shit is that kid going to be on the train with me?" smiles. Speaking of shit...he did ...in the train station. Which by the way Amtrak is in Column B. No kid friendly rest rooms.....no place to really change the "I'm so excited to go this train ride" dump he took. But we managed and the people with the nice smiles immediately moved over to the "oh shit" group...literally
So freshly diapered...we boarded the train. We luckily got a seat with tons of space around us to accommodate the equipment one needs for traveling with a grandchild. A portable DVD player ...a necessity ! To an adult ...a luxury,when traveling with a toddler...a NECESSITY! A Yo Gabba Gabba sleeping bag...a bag full Barney DVD's (sorry every other passenger) supply of juice boxes, healthy snacks from mom and grandma specific snacks like cheese balls and m&m cookies and then of course a suit case of 5 days worth of clothes (and shoes).
All aboard...and he was awesome....even with an hour delay our 7 hour train trip was a successful one. We ate, we watched dvd's and listened to a loop of his 5 favorite songs (again, sorry every other passenger)and then he slept. I am so proud of him for sleeping and proud of myself for not. Imagine: sitting on a nice warm train...the motion of the rails...no interruptions or distractions...and I can't believe I stayed awake. I sit down for five minutes at home and I'm out like a light, hell, I'm dosing as I write this...but some how I stayed awake...(Grand)Mother Bear instinct I guess!
Now the moment of truth...the two kinds of people....The train is pulling into the Albany Station. As I gather up all the above mentioned paraphernalia and I keep my eye on this perfect little boy who has kind of turned into a ticking time bomb....he can blow at any minute..."all done" train! While I hike my bags on my shoulders and scoop up my companion....people have already invaded our space to get off the train first....Adults!!!!!! these are...ADULTS!!!...pushing their way to get to the door. I am reminded of school when these kids die to be first in line..."I'm the line leader" I envisioned this middle aged man with one small bag saying as he CUT ME !!! I have to say one nice Cloumn A man offered to help me but at this point I was balanced like a Jenga game and one false move and game over.
So off the train to hail a cab in the rain of course....me and my boy off to see Momma or as I see my lovely daughter: another set of hands and eyes to watch him so I CAN PEE!!!!
A day and half in an Albany hotel in the middle of nowhere was a challenge but we had enough nonsense to keep us busy....and that 3 hour nap (we both took this time) was priceless so ...with Mom along we were off to the big city.
This leg of the trip involves a cab- a train -a cab -a bus -and a car....all in one afternoon/evening. Though we had another companion (set of hands/set of eyes) with her came a fold up stroller and the biggest suitcase I have ever seen. I still include the fact that it had wheels on it in my nightly prayers. God Bless my family and friends and thank you for the wheels on that suitcase....Amen.
So my best friend in the world met us at Penn Station....my best friend who I saw as another set of arms... escorted us to the clusterf*ck that is NewYork City in front of Penn Station on a Friday evening.....We ignored the cop "suggestion" that we stay on the curb and wait in the taxi line....and hijacked a cab as some one jumped out we jumped in...and by jumped I mean loading all our crap into the trunk in the rain ( it wasn't really raining..I just threw that in)
From the cab we jump out ...and by jump( see previous sentence) and walk to catch the bus. On that little trek, a bag with some "necessities" rips and spill on to the streets.
Someone...an angel, I believe, or at the very least..some one in Column A stopped and gave us one of her plastic shopping bags.. I Heart NY!!!
So to Port Authority to get on a bus...by the way, the wheels on the bus go round and round. This is where we meet the president of Column B, the "I see people with kids and suitcases everyday"guy ...who scolded me for trying to get that giant suitcase on the bus and again for going the wrong way to have that giant suitcase put in the storage area. So-rry buddy....did you meet the nice lady on the street with the plastic bags. So the wheels on the bus went round and round ....for an hour straight...We get off the bus and here is the conversation:
Me: I have a bag under the bus in storage
Bus Nazi: (disgusted)Oh yeah and you know what ...you never gave me your ticket
Me: You never asked me for it
Bus Nazi: Where's your ticket?
Me: In my pocket....
Bus Nazi: I shouldn't even give you your bag...no didn't give me a ticket
Me: I don't give a shit...it's my not my bag anyway...it's my daughter's
Bus Nazi: <trying not to laugh>
Me: Look Dude...I'm a grandmother and I have been traveling for 3 days with a 20 month old....bring it bitch....(I didn't say that last part ...but how cool if I did) Here's my ticket...
Bus (not so much like a )Nazi: smiles and laughs and says have a good night.
And with that we spent the next couple days with our friends and family in the city and in New Jersey and had a wonderful "did everything we wanted to"time. I have to say one of the best times I ever had. I was kind of "held captive" with this spectacular little toddler and loved every exhausting minute of it. Some people thought I was crazy to take this on ...but when has that ever stopped me. This trip was one that I will always remember as one of my best ideas and I hope some way, some how he will have a little glimpse of a memory of when he and his "Ga" went on an excellent adventure! After 5 days we are back in Buffalo with all our shit..and....shit happened -again in the Buffalo Amtrack Station...full circle...just sayin.
On to the trip. The reason for the trip in the first place, was to take my grandson to Albany to see his mom who was there on business and then the three of us to travel for a side trip to NYC.
The first leg of the trip is all me!
We walked in to the train station in Buffalo to begin our adventure. He was so excited...woo woo (-along with the arm pump )..let's wait for the train. We were greeted with some genuine smiles and some "oh shit is that kid going to be on the train with me?" smiles. Speaking of shit...he did ...in the train station. Which by the way Amtrak is in Column B. No kid friendly rest rooms.....no place to really change the "I'm so excited to go this train ride" dump he took. But we managed and the people with the nice smiles immediately moved over to the "oh shit" group...literally
So freshly diapered...we boarded the train. We luckily got a seat with tons of space around us to accommodate the equipment one needs for traveling with a grandchild. A portable DVD player ...a necessity ! To an adult ...a luxury,when traveling with a toddler...a NECESSITY! A Yo Gabba Gabba sleeping bag...a bag full Barney DVD's (sorry every other passenger) supply of juice boxes, healthy snacks from mom and grandma specific snacks like cheese balls and m&m cookies and then of course a suit case of 5 days worth of clothes (and shoes).
All aboard...and he was awesome....even with an hour delay our 7 hour train trip was a successful one. We ate, we watched dvd's and listened to a loop of his 5 favorite songs (again, sorry every other passenger)and then he slept. I am so proud of him for sleeping and proud of myself for not. Imagine: sitting on a nice warm train...the motion of the rails...no interruptions or distractions...and I can't believe I stayed awake. I sit down for five minutes at home and I'm out like a light, hell, I'm dosing as I write this...but some how I stayed awake...(Grand)Mother Bear instinct I guess!
Now the moment of truth...the two kinds of people....The train is pulling into the Albany Station. As I gather up all the above mentioned paraphernalia and I keep my eye on this perfect little boy who has kind of turned into a ticking time bomb....he can blow at any minute..."all done" train! While I hike my bags on my shoulders and scoop up my companion....people have already invaded our space to get off the train first....Adults!!!!!! these are...ADULTS!!!...pushing their way to get to the door. I am reminded of school when these kids die to be first in line..."I'm the line leader" I envisioned this middle aged man with one small bag saying as he CUT ME !!! I have to say one nice Cloumn A man offered to help me but at this point I was balanced like a Jenga game and one false move and game over.
So off the train to hail a cab in the rain of course....me and my boy off to see Momma or as I see my lovely daughter: another set of hands and eyes to watch him so I CAN PEE!!!!
A day and half in an Albany hotel in the middle of nowhere was a challenge but we had enough nonsense to keep us busy....and that 3 hour nap (we both took this time) was priceless so ...with Mom along we were off to the big city.
This leg of the trip involves a cab- a train -a cab -a bus -and a car....all in one afternoon/evening. Though we had another companion (set of hands/set of eyes) with her came a fold up stroller and the biggest suitcase I have ever seen. I still include the fact that it had wheels on it in my nightly prayers. God Bless my family and friends and thank you for the wheels on that suitcase....Amen.
So my best friend in the world met us at Penn Station....my best friend who I saw as another set of arms... escorted us to the clusterf*ck that is NewYork City in front of Penn Station on a Friday evening.....We ignored the cop "suggestion" that we stay on the curb and wait in the taxi line....and hijacked a cab as some one jumped out we jumped in...and by jumped I mean loading all our crap into the trunk in the rain ( it wasn't really raining..I just threw that in)
From the cab we jump out ...and by jump( see previous sentence) and walk to catch the bus. On that little trek, a bag with some "necessities" rips and spill on to the streets.
Someone...an angel, I believe, or at the very least..some one in Column A stopped and gave us one of her plastic shopping bags.. I Heart NY!!!
So to Port Authority to get on a bus...by the way, the wheels on the bus go round and round. This is where we meet the president of Column B, the "I see people with kids and suitcases everyday"guy ...who scolded me for trying to get that giant suitcase on the bus and again for going the wrong way to have that giant suitcase put in the storage area. So-rry buddy....did you meet the nice lady on the street with the plastic bags. So the wheels on the bus went round and round ....for an hour straight...We get off the bus and here is the conversation:
Me: I have a bag under the bus in storage
Bus Nazi: (disgusted)Oh yeah and you know what ...you never gave me your ticket
Me: You never asked me for it
Bus Nazi: Where's your ticket?
Me: In my pocket....
Bus Nazi: I shouldn't even give you your bag...no didn't give me a ticket
Me: I don't give a shit...it's my not my bag anyway...it's my daughter's
Bus Nazi: <trying not to laugh>
Me: Look Dude...I'm a grandmother and I have been traveling for 3 days with a 20 month old....bring it bitch....(I didn't say that last part ...but how cool if I did) Here's my ticket...
Bus (not so much like a )Nazi: smiles and laughs and says have a good night.
And with that we spent the next couple days with our friends and family in the city and in New Jersey and had a wonderful "did everything we wanted to"time. I have to say one of the best times I ever had. I was kind of "held captive" with this spectacular little toddler and loved every exhausting minute of it. Some people thought I was crazy to take this on ...but when has that ever stopped me. This trip was one that I will always remember as one of my best ideas and I hope some way, some how he will have a little glimpse of a memory of when he and his "Ga" went on an excellent adventure! After 5 days we are back in Buffalo with all our shit..and....shit happened -again in the Buffalo Amtrack Station...full circle...just sayin.
Monday, November 14, 2011
The Sandwich Generation...sounded like it would be way more fun ....
When someone says SANDWICH...don't you think "Yay!!" I mean seriously, think of it....from grilled paninis to peanut butter and fluff AND jelly...you have to admit, it's a positive experience. Don't even get me started on ice cream sandwiches! So don't you think comfort, you think safe...you think being nestled in the middle...(that's a whole other kind of sandwich) But not so!! I am quickly finding out you put the word Generation after the word Sandwich and you get something completely different! I, like sooooo many of my friends and acquaintances, am a member of the Sandwich Generation. Now I have to admit my Sandwich is not quite as overwhelming as some. I mean it's not a turkey club or anything that requires fancy toothpicks to hold it together. My sandwich is in the beginning stage...but I can see condiments being added as the years go on.
For those of you who think this blogger is food obsessed...well, you're right...but in this instance I am metaphor-ing all over the place about a position in life. I have 3 children and a grandchild. Because of the way of the world these days, 2 of them still live at home and one is married with a baby ...who we baby sit so my daughter can work...the way of the world. I am proud of my kids and what they have and have the potential to accomplish, But the reality is: they still need help. Of course my involvement in their lives varies at different times and I do understand that when you are sick....you still want your mama! So that is one slice of bread !
I am also so lucky to have both my parents. They have been healthy and from what I can see happy for many years...but just recently ..it has started...there was a fall or two and pneumonia, a couple little hospital stays and now arthritis..but they have been lucky to get to know their 2 (so far) great-grandchildren! So that is slice number two. Which makes me the ...baloney? turkey?...choose the filling of your choice!
See we are a generation who is "sandwiched" between helping our kids and helping our parents. That seems like a job for a grown up,but damn it...I don't feel like the grown up.
Come to think of it I have been waiting my whole life to feel like a grown up. I remember buying my first car ...a rust Comet ..rust was the color and the condition...the radio went on and off when you hit a pothole or a bump...but it was my own car...I kind of felt like a grown up... I had a loan and car insurance to pay...but no I wasn't quite there. I graduated from college ....got married...and boom! got pregnant (in that order) all in the second half of 1982. I must be grown up now because I'm a mom...this has to do it. But every time I would bring my overall clad, wild curly haired kids over to my parents house...they would immediately plop them on the kitchen counter and wash their faces and ask why I never put bibs on them... Damn! a grown up would have bibs on their kids !! So I blinked my eyes and here I am watching my kids graduate from high school, college...watched one of them (so far) walk down the aisle....and the check I wrote for the wedding was certainly a grown up check! But hmmmmm...I partied at that wedding like I was 18 years old ....so not a grown up. C'mon ...I have a mortgage...I have a real job....a couple of 'em ...so,when? when?
Fast foward and here I am a grandma...and anyone who has ever read my blog know I LOVE being "Ga". ...but holy shit when is this grown up thing gonna kick it. As I look at my responsibilities, I know what I have taken on is not for the weak of heart...certainly not kid stuff! I realize that the tough parts are still ahead of me...the talks! THE TALKS!!! "what to do with their house...what to do....we need to get this in writing"...OMG ( so not a grown up thing to say) I know the situations await me and I will try my best to handle it in a grown up way....I will continue to be there for my kids...what ever they need.
(Like taking a trip to Albany and NYC with my grandson so his mom doesn't have to be away from him all week on her business trip ****more on that stay tuned for the "Coops and Ga's Excellent Adventure" Blog!)
I will also be there for my Mom and Dad...what ever they need...I will gladly make the upcoming holiday turkey and make sure gifts are bought and doctor appointments are kept, groceries are in the house!! So order me a sandwich...hell, I'll have a sub...I guess it's falls under the heading "you gotta do what you gotta do..."
But with my track record I guess...in the words of Peter Pan... if it means I must prepare to shoulder burdens with a worried air....
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
Not me.....just sayin (and I'm sticking my tongue out)
For those of you who think this blogger is food obsessed...well, you're right...but in this instance I am metaphor-ing all over the place about a position in life. I have 3 children and a grandchild. Because of the way of the world these days, 2 of them still live at home and one is married with a baby ...who we baby sit so my daughter can work...the way of the world. I am proud of my kids and what they have and have the potential to accomplish, But the reality is: they still need help. Of course my involvement in their lives varies at different times and I do understand that when you are sick....you still want your mama! So that is one slice of bread !
I am also so lucky to have both my parents. They have been healthy and from what I can see happy for many years...but just recently ..it has started...there was a fall or two and pneumonia, a couple little hospital stays and now arthritis..but they have been lucky to get to know their 2 (so far) great-grandchildren! So that is slice number two. Which makes me the ...baloney? turkey?...choose the filling of your choice!
See we are a generation who is "sandwiched" between helping our kids and helping our parents. That seems like a job for a grown up,but damn it...I don't feel like the grown up.
Come to think of it I have been waiting my whole life to feel like a grown up. I remember buying my first car ...a rust Comet ..rust was the color and the condition...the radio went on and off when you hit a pothole or a bump...but it was my own car...I kind of felt like a grown up... I had a loan and car insurance to pay...but no I wasn't quite there. I graduated from college ....got married...and boom! got pregnant (in that order) all in the second half of 1982. I must be grown up now because I'm a mom...this has to do it. But every time I would bring my overall clad, wild curly haired kids over to my parents house...they would immediately plop them on the kitchen counter and wash their faces and ask why I never put bibs on them... Damn! a grown up would have bibs on their kids !! So I blinked my eyes and here I am watching my kids graduate from high school, college...watched one of them (so far) walk down the aisle....and the check I wrote for the wedding was certainly a grown up check! But hmmmmm...I partied at that wedding like I was 18 years old ....so not a grown up. C'mon ...I have a mortgage...I have a real job....a couple of 'em ...so,when? when?
Fast foward and here I am a grandma...and anyone who has ever read my blog know I LOVE being "Ga". ...but holy shit when is this grown up thing gonna kick it. As I look at my responsibilities, I know what I have taken on is not for the weak of heart...certainly not kid stuff! I realize that the tough parts are still ahead of me...the talks! THE TALKS!!! "what to do with their house...what to do....we need to get this in writing"...OMG ( so not a grown up thing to say) I know the situations await me and I will try my best to handle it in a grown up way....I will continue to be there for my kids...what ever they need.
(Like taking a trip to Albany and NYC with my grandson so his mom doesn't have to be away from him all week on her business trip ****more on that stay tuned for the "Coops and Ga's Excellent Adventure" Blog!)
I will also be there for my Mom and Dad...what ever they need...I will gladly make the upcoming holiday turkey and make sure gifts are bought and doctor appointments are kept, groceries are in the house!! So order me a sandwich...hell, I'll have a sub...I guess it's falls under the heading "you gotta do what you gotta do..."
But with my track record I guess...in the words of Peter Pan... if it means I must prepare to shoulder burdens with a worried air....
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
Not me.....just sayin (and I'm sticking my tongue out)
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Trick or Treat...witches
I love Halloween. I don't know what it is about this holiday...holiday? I believe it is a holiday, at least for retailers and people who decorate their houses. It seems to be a huge business for Haunted Houses or Fright Worlds and Corn Mazes (I call it Maize). Halloween paraphernalia is out right after the Back to School supplies are gone which, I guess now, is July. But I do love this season.
Maybe it's the costumes or possibly and most likely the candy (fun sized butterfingers..yes please.. 3 or 4 of them) I know it's not the horror movies and the desire to be scared. Of course my definition of scary has change since I was a kid. It used to be monsters in your house and noises and ghosts. Now its any time one of my kids say ...."I have something to tell you " or "what's this thing on my neck..." Those phrases make my blood run cold and grays my hair like the bride of Frankenstein. Monsters and noises at night???...bring 'em on. I've looked in the face of fear, my friends, and it's called a "pre unlimited texting cell phone bill". Although I'm still not crazy about that whole under the bed scenario...I've seen too many movies. I read somewhere that Stephen King won't have any part of his body hang over the bed when he sleeps. Hey, who can argue with the man that thought up those creepy twins in The Shining. And I have to admit I still can't bring myself to watch The Exorcist....never have, never will.
So I think I love the dressing up part of Halloween that I love. It's a chance to be someone or something else for the day. I never wanted to be a nurse but it was fun to dress up as one. See, I work at an elementary school and it is a great excuse to "have to " dress up. It's surprising how many people detest this day. Of course at school, it's about a week of sugar induced ADHD and kids talking about what horror movie they are "allowed" to watch. Mind you, the the school only goes up to 5th grade (about 10 year olds) and the little darlings are talking about watching Saw. Seriously, Saw??? I refuse to watch that. The scary part is kids that can't remember that a quarter is worth 25 cents are probably memorizing the tortures scenes for future use.
Anyway, I do love the dressing up. I think it comes from my childhood. I do believe my mom was one of those who detested that day. In those days my choices for Halloween costumes were limited to hippie, gypsy or Indian (sorry, it was politically correct to use that word back then). Those three were interchangeable ...give or take some beads and move around the head band. My sister and I were one of those 3 things every year from ages 7-12. I guess it didn't matter because Halloween in Buffalo usually meant a winter coat over your costume anyway.
As I got older and was able to create my own costumes...my world opened up to a wind up doll, Space waitress and on to Miss Yvonne to my boyfriend/now husband's Pee Wee Herman (pre- masturbation in the theatre Pee Wee Herman) and I even dyed my very black hair very red and we were Lucy & Ricky Ricardo. We had parties where everyone dressed up. I used to love to see people going about their party business costumes and all. Where else can you see a bloody shot up gangster having an very in depth conversation with a full grown Winnie the Pooh. I mean a real serious conversation. I would also like when you were driving and there was a bunny driving next to you....or a Star Wars Storm Trooper ...or a clown....well that last one is horrifying . It was amazing how many costumes were so inventive and sometime inappropriate (funny inappropriate, that is....read on) Plus, we used to hate the girls that would come to these parties in "pretty costumes" as we used to call them. Now it seems to be the norm. No matter what you dress up as ...it's sexy.
Vampire....a sexy vampire . Little red riding hood....sexy little red riding hood. ...a nun...a sexy nun?...sexy Cinderella....sexy witch. It's like a fetish episode of HBO's Real Sex. Gives new meaning to Trick or Treat now doesn't it.
But another reason I love Halloween is that we moved into our house on that day. I remember watching our new neighbors looking at us .... a Black Cat walking up the drive way with a little Snow White and an even littler Batman. (my son was Batman for about 4 years, by choice though).
My kids, as you may have guessed, loved and still love Halloween. I recall sitting in a dance studio in May when my girls got their costumes and thinking....all right!!!....awesome Halloween costumes!!! They had 2 or 3 costumes ...indoor ones and out door Buffalo Halloween ones. Ninja Turtle, Jasmine from Aladdin, Little Bo Peep. Phantom of the Opera, a parrot, a viking...the list went on and one. I'm proud to say they still dress up and the costumes are all pretty clever. They don't get candy anymore unfortunately...but there is some kind of liquid treat involved.
So I will always have a fondness for this holiday. Now I get to relive all the fun of carving pumpkins and weeding through candy with the next generation of costume loving kids (my grandson is Tigger this year, but at any time of year will walk around the house with a dish towel tucked in his shirt so he can be Superman).
And speaking of candy...don't give out those gross black and orange wrapped whatevers. What are those???...or worse..apples (remember the razor blade in apples urban legand) or the very worst....pennies. You might as well give out eggs and toilet paper because that's what your house will be covered with if you give out pennies! I am big on bubble gum....and huge hand-fulls of bubble gum at that (if I buy chocolate, I have found...it will never make it to Halloween, no matter where I hide it... so I have learned to buy the stuff that will make it to the 31st.) So whatever you give...just don't be skimpy. It's all about filling the pillow case...it's all about the hand fulls...and that's what you get when you come to my house and always will even when I'm too old to dress up in anything but a house coat...a sexy house coat.....just saying
Maybe it's the costumes or possibly and most likely the candy (fun sized butterfingers..yes please.. 3 or 4 of them) I know it's not the horror movies and the desire to be scared. Of course my definition of scary has change since I was a kid. It used to be monsters in your house and noises and ghosts. Now its any time one of my kids say ...."I have something to tell you " or "what's this thing on my neck..." Those phrases make my blood run cold and grays my hair like the bride of Frankenstein. Monsters and noises at night???...bring 'em on. I've looked in the face of fear, my friends, and it's called a "pre unlimited texting cell phone bill". Although I'm still not crazy about that whole under the bed scenario...I've seen too many movies. I read somewhere that Stephen King won't have any part of his body hang over the bed when he sleeps. Hey, who can argue with the man that thought up those creepy twins in The Shining. And I have to admit I still can't bring myself to watch The Exorcist....never have, never will.
So I think I love the dressing up part of Halloween that I love. It's a chance to be someone or something else for the day. I never wanted to be a nurse but it was fun to dress up as one. See, I work at an elementary school and it is a great excuse to "have to " dress up. It's surprising how many people detest this day. Of course at school, it's about a week of sugar induced ADHD and kids talking about what horror movie they are "allowed" to watch. Mind you, the the school only goes up to 5th grade (about 10 year olds) and the little darlings are talking about watching Saw. Seriously, Saw??? I refuse to watch that. The scary part is kids that can't remember that a quarter is worth 25 cents are probably memorizing the tortures scenes for future use.
Anyway, I do love the dressing up. I think it comes from my childhood. I do believe my mom was one of those who detested that day. In those days my choices for Halloween costumes were limited to hippie, gypsy or Indian (sorry, it was politically correct to use that word back then). Those three were interchangeable ...give or take some beads and move around the head band. My sister and I were one of those 3 things every year from ages 7-12. I guess it didn't matter because Halloween in Buffalo usually meant a winter coat over your costume anyway.
As I got older and was able to create my own costumes...my world opened up to a wind up doll, Space waitress and on to Miss Yvonne to my boyfriend/now husband's Pee Wee Herman (pre- masturbation in the theatre Pee Wee Herman) and I even dyed my very black hair very red and we were Lucy & Ricky Ricardo. We had parties where everyone dressed up. I used to love to see people going about their party business costumes and all. Where else can you see a bloody shot up gangster having an very in depth conversation with a full grown Winnie the Pooh. I mean a real serious conversation. I would also like when you were driving and there was a bunny driving next to you....or a Star Wars Storm Trooper ...or a clown....well that last one is horrifying . It was amazing how many costumes were so inventive and sometime inappropriate (funny inappropriate, that is....read on) Plus, we used to hate the girls that would come to these parties in "pretty costumes" as we used to call them. Now it seems to be the norm. No matter what you dress up as ...it's sexy.
Vampire....a sexy vampire . Little red riding hood....sexy little red riding hood. ...a nun...a sexy nun?...sexy Cinderella....sexy witch. It's like a fetish episode of HBO's Real Sex. Gives new meaning to Trick or Treat now doesn't it.
But another reason I love Halloween is that we moved into our house on that day. I remember watching our new neighbors looking at us .... a Black Cat walking up the drive way with a little Snow White and an even littler Batman. (my son was Batman for about 4 years, by choice though).
My kids, as you may have guessed, loved and still love Halloween. I recall sitting in a dance studio in May when my girls got their costumes and thinking....all right!!!....awesome Halloween costumes!!! They had 2 or 3 costumes ...indoor ones and out door Buffalo Halloween ones. Ninja Turtle, Jasmine from Aladdin, Little Bo Peep. Phantom of the Opera, a parrot, a viking...the list went on and one. I'm proud to say they still dress up and the costumes are all pretty clever. They don't get candy anymore unfortunately...but there is some kind of liquid treat involved.
So I will always have a fondness for this holiday. Now I get to relive all the fun of carving pumpkins and weeding through candy with the next generation of costume loving kids (my grandson is Tigger this year, but at any time of year will walk around the house with a dish towel tucked in his shirt so he can be Superman).
And speaking of candy...don't give out those gross black and orange wrapped whatevers. What are those???...or worse..apples (remember the razor blade in apples urban legand) or the very worst....pennies. You might as well give out eggs and toilet paper because that's what your house will be covered with if you give out pennies! I am big on bubble gum....and huge hand-fulls of bubble gum at that (if I buy chocolate, I have found...it will never make it to Halloween, no matter where I hide it... so I have learned to buy the stuff that will make it to the 31st.) So whatever you give...just don't be skimpy. It's all about filling the pillow case...it's all about the hand fulls...and that's what you get when you come to my house and always will even when I'm too old to dress up in anything but a house coat...a sexy house coat.....just saying
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Live, Laugh, Love.....especially Laugh
Well, it has been kind of a rough week for this usually cheerful/cynical girl. I lost a good friend. I lost one about 9 years ago -I lost one about 9 days ago and for some reason there is a connection.
My friend that I lost years ago was also my sister in law...but she was certainly my friend. She lost a battle with breast cancer and this being "Pink-tober" ...that feeling was in the air. Everywhere you look is pink...and that's cool...it's awareness ( yes I know ...I'm over due for my mamo...I'm going ...I'm going). The fact that everytime we tried to take a step of the Breast Cancer walk...it poured...it teamed ...it was very clear to me that she was in the air...
"Quick- everyone-under the tent"
"Okay...it's slowing down...let's walk" ...... rain...rain...RAIN!!!!
"Quick- everyone- under the tent"
Finally I thought...I don't think she wants us to walk! - Okay, read the signs any way you want...but if you knew her, that rain her was saying ...go ...go have breakfast...go watch the Bills game...so we did.
I get those signs all the time. On the anniversary of that awful day that she left this earth...I say to the heavens (where she most definitely is)"Hope I see you today"...and I always do. To some people they were just little gifts ( oh by the way did I mention it was Christmas time when she passed away ...seriously Christmas time!??!! )To some people it was just an angel ornament...a pink scarf ...a little figurine collectible -but to me it was a big hello from my sister in law...my friend that I miss so much.
The best was this past year. I was waiting ...emotionally looking around every corner...waiting for my hello. But she is tricky my sister in law, my friend... I was getting gifts here and there ,but nothing that would resemble her hello ( although the bottles of "spirits" -pun intended- were appreciated). Then my phone buzzed...who is texting me???....forgetting that my own sister was awaiting word about the sex of the baby her daughter was carrying....I check my phone and all I see are two words...THINK PINK!!!
Cue waterworks...so happy that my sister was going to have a granddaughter and experience the joy (that I know first hand ) of being a grandma...but with those two words I got my hello and I would like to think a little intervention...My niece was so hoping for a girl...and yeah, yeah.. I know how it works XY chromosomes and all that shit....but in my heart- my sister in law, my friend worked her magic. She was like magic... she truly did live-laugh and love and we did that together...especially laugh!
I can remember after every show her daughter did or my family did we would chat for hours about it. We would talk about what was great...how great our kids were...how everyone else sucked ...and how we would have done it differently....it was really one of the best parts of doing the show other than the actual doing of the show!!! I miss that more that anyone will ever know
.....so here's my connection.
Last week, I lost a friend. He was a show friend ...but so, so much more. There were people that you did shows with...and then there was Tom. Now I haven't heard from Tom for almost 30 years and one day last year I got a FaceBook message from him saying "I found you". That was it...we were back!
Say what you want about FaceBook....it's a soap box...a self serving one at that....a place to put pictures of yourself looking all fancy or most of the time looking like a jackass...but to me it will always be the vehicle that got me back in touch with Tom. We saw each other quite a few times over which turned out to be his last bit of time on earth . But who knew... we were back...we acted like it was 30 years ago. True, it wasn't a catch phrase back then but we certainly did live laugh and love...especially laugh. Even just recently at a 3 hour lunch...we laughed... I could always count on him for a laugh and at the most inappropriate things...my personal favorite things to laugh at.. for example..(and I'm really, truly sorry if I offend anyone ) the 911 call of the women who owned the monkey who attacked that other woman's face. He did an awesome impression of that awful screeching phone call...
"he's killing her"
"who ma'am??"
"MY MONKEY"
...so sorry... again so so sorry ....with heads hung in shame, we both agreed how horrible that event had to have been...but the phone call ...it made us both giggle a bit...alright a lot...but that was Tom.
So when he sent me a text on the opening night of The Wiz and so eloquently quoted a line from a Wiz song... so perfectly timed that I could tearfully share it with the cast...I was touch but not surprised ...that was my friend Tom.
I will miss him more than anyone will ever know. And like with my sister in law, my other friend, I will look for signs. I may have already gotten one. The night of Tom's wake, I was on the computer playing some mind numbing game and looking at some old pic (okay some stalking). I was on the computer literally for hours when I decided to hop on to his page...the page where I learned about his passing and I was able to read all the tributes to him and see his face once more ... just then, my computer froze. After hours of no computer problems at all...it froze...froze on his page...on his name...on his face. To some people it may have been a technological glich...to me it was hello....just saying.
My friend that I lost years ago was also my sister in law...but she was certainly my friend. She lost a battle with breast cancer and this being "Pink-tober" ...that feeling was in the air. Everywhere you look is pink...and that's cool...it's awareness ( yes I know ...I'm over due for my mamo...I'm going ...I'm going). The fact that everytime we tried to take a step of the Breast Cancer walk...it poured...it teamed ...it was very clear to me that she was in the air...
"Quick- everyone-under the tent"
"Okay...it's slowing down...let's walk" ...... rain...rain...RAIN!!!!
"Quick- everyone- under the tent"
Finally I thought...I don't think she wants us to walk! - Okay, read the signs any way you want...but if you knew her, that rain her was saying ...go ...go have breakfast...go watch the Bills game...so we did.
I get those signs all the time. On the anniversary of that awful day that she left this earth...I say to the heavens (where she most definitely is)"Hope I see you today"...and I always do. To some people they were just little gifts ( oh by the way did I mention it was Christmas time when she passed away ...seriously Christmas time!??!! )To some people it was just an angel ornament...a pink scarf ...a little figurine collectible -but to me it was a big hello from my sister in law...my friend that I miss so much.
The best was this past year. I was waiting ...emotionally looking around every corner...waiting for my hello. But she is tricky my sister in law, my friend... I was getting gifts here and there ,but nothing that would resemble her hello ( although the bottles of "spirits" -pun intended- were appreciated). Then my phone buzzed...who is texting me???....forgetting that my own sister was awaiting word about the sex of the baby her daughter was carrying....I check my phone and all I see are two words...THINK PINK!!!
Cue waterworks...so happy that my sister was going to have a granddaughter and experience the joy (that I know first hand ) of being a grandma...but with those two words I got my hello and I would like to think a little intervention...My niece was so hoping for a girl...and yeah, yeah.. I know how it works XY chromosomes and all that shit....but in my heart- my sister in law, my friend worked her magic. She was like magic... she truly did live-laugh and love and we did that together...especially laugh!
I can remember after every show her daughter did or my family did we would chat for hours about it. We would talk about what was great...how great our kids were...how everyone else sucked ...and how we would have done it differently....it was really one of the best parts of doing the show other than the actual doing of the show!!! I miss that more that anyone will ever know
.....so here's my connection.
Last week, I lost a friend. He was a show friend ...but so, so much more. There were people that you did shows with...and then there was Tom. Now I haven't heard from Tom for almost 30 years and one day last year I got a FaceBook message from him saying "I found you". That was it...we were back!
Say what you want about FaceBook....it's a soap box...a self serving one at that....a place to put pictures of yourself looking all fancy or most of the time looking like a jackass...but to me it will always be the vehicle that got me back in touch with Tom. We saw each other quite a few times over which turned out to be his last bit of time on earth . But who knew... we were back...we acted like it was 30 years ago. True, it wasn't a catch phrase back then but we certainly did live laugh and love...especially laugh. Even just recently at a 3 hour lunch...we laughed... I could always count on him for a laugh and at the most inappropriate things...my personal favorite things to laugh at.. for example..(and I'm really, truly sorry if I offend anyone ) the 911 call of the women who owned the monkey who attacked that other woman's face. He did an awesome impression of that awful screeching phone call...
"he's killing her"
"who ma'am??"
"MY MONKEY"
...so sorry... again so so sorry ....with heads hung in shame, we both agreed how horrible that event had to have been...but the phone call ...it made us both giggle a bit...alright a lot...but that was Tom.
So when he sent me a text on the opening night of The Wiz and so eloquently quoted a line from a Wiz song... so perfectly timed that I could tearfully share it with the cast...I was touch but not surprised ...that was my friend Tom.
I will miss him more than anyone will ever know. And like with my sister in law, my other friend, I will look for signs. I may have already gotten one. The night of Tom's wake, I was on the computer playing some mind numbing game and looking at some old pic (okay some stalking). I was on the computer literally for hours when I decided to hop on to his page...the page where I learned about his passing and I was able to read all the tributes to him and see his face once more ... just then, my computer froze. After hours of no computer problems at all...it froze...froze on his page...on his name...on his face. To some people it may have been a technological glich...to me it was hello....just saying.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
do your job...do your f***ing job-part one
I know, kind of a harsh title ...and the more I thought about it, I realized this may have to be a covered in multiple parts...a mini series if you will. But for now I am going to focus on the job/ the lost art of being a parent. I have been a parent for 337 months (parents always talk in terms of months...don't do the math it's really 28 years 1 month). I remember my non-parent friends condescendingly saying "it's the hardest job in the world". ...ouch-it was like a verbal pat on the head... okay, go away now. I would obediently smile and nod because they had NO IDEA. The thing that made it the hardest job is that is a 24 hour job...no breaks,no lunch hour no contact with other non-diaper wearing human beings (hold your comments that's a whole other blog) Yes-that made it tough, but the job itself is pretty simple. Take care of your kids...food, shelter -yeah yeah yeah...love, of course, but talk to them, teach them, you know abc's - 123's - do re mi's if you're feeling Julie Andrews-y.
Here's what got me started on this rant- school started a few weeks ago. We are all back for another round...and like every September, we have a whole new crop of kindergartners, cute as can be Not too many criers this year ( kids, not parents, parent always cry. I remember I was the one clicking my heels, by the way) as a matter of fact, they seemed pretty happy to be at school.
But then comes the real part of school, not just the new back pack and light up sneakers ( I secretly want a pair)but the abc's and 123's, the sit down and raise your hand and don't talk back to the teacher or any other adult for that matter ( aren't you supposed to be kind of afraid of adults when you're 5...???) Well some kids get it...some kids always get it- but then there's the one ( waaayyy more than one unfortunately) that do not and when you are 5 years old, I think I have to say the parents are the ones that don't get it.
I mean seriously, what have you been doing with these kids for the last five years!!! Now, I hear you all chiming in- the times they are a changin -MJ...people need to work they can't stay home with their kids like you did ( I worked part time-so no we didn't go to Disney and yes I'm still in debt) these parents are young ( I was 23..first time using no birth control = baby...who knew) some of these kids are raised by their grandparents (bring it ,fellow grandmas, bring it). Enough I say. There is no excuse for your children not being ready for year one of their long trip on the education train. Where are all the braggy kindergarten parents? It used to be "my kids can read at this grade level already"...now it's " my kid is on this many sports teams."
Is it to much to ask that letters and numbers be a part of a toddlers life....are they plopped in front of tv? If so...there are shows that can teach those things if you aren't willing (or able) to.
But how about right from wrong. Sometime if I tell a student "no" they look at me as if it's the first time they've ever heard it...it very well may be. Also, do kids not play game anymore.. not video type games..but like CandyLand ...Go Fish games..and if they do, do they always win- because not every one can win.
Not every one can be Ultimate Supreme ---can we talk about Toddlers & Tiaras for just a second.
Honestly, what is the matter with these people. Not the people that watch the show (me) but the people who think it's a fabulous idea to spray tan their 3 year old, glue false eyelashes on them and force them to do their fat-ass choreography in front of what I am assuming are child beauty pageant survivors who are now the judges. Judges who give points based on the height of their hair and the amount of glitter they have on and if they wink seductively enough and do that creepy dimple thing with their fingers on their cheeks. Oh and the flippers...false teeth!!!! false teeth on kids because sometimes (read this with sarcasm in your voice)their teeth fall out around age 6 or 7 ...unacceptable in fat ass beauty pageant land. Sorry, I must have had one too many pixie sticks and too much mountain dew mixed with energy drink...that is actually a "trick" used on the show to keep the kid's energy up....last time I looked -don't 3-7 year olds have a shit ton of energy.....
Okay...that is the extreme, to borrow their words, the ultimate supreme of bad parenting. but it is becoming more and more evident as years go on....I don't want to sound like the "these kids these days" kind of old lady...but c'mon really it isn't that hard. Read a book or two, count the red cars that go by, and maybe just say no sometimes.
We are all doing the best we can I know, but we can do a little better when there are kids involved, Looking back I know I could have too. I'm know I've made my mistakes. But all these years later I have a teacher, an x ray tech and a budding chef..but most of all I have three really good, solid people, kind, decent, good work ethic etc. which I don't take all the credit for ( because when you do you then have to take the blame when they do dumb-ass stuff too). So do your f***ing job....it still isn't that hard. I am definitely way more tired but ..I'm working 2 sometimes 3 jobs...I obviously have time to watch really embarrassing reality tv ... but when I babysit my 19 month old grandson...he can recognize the number 3 when he sees it...genius?.... just saying
Here's what got me started on this rant- school started a few weeks ago. We are all back for another round...and like every September, we have a whole new crop of kindergartners, cute as can be Not too many criers this year ( kids, not parents, parent always cry. I remember I was the one clicking my heels, by the way) as a matter of fact, they seemed pretty happy to be at school.
But then comes the real part of school, not just the new back pack and light up sneakers ( I secretly want a pair)but the abc's and 123's, the sit down and raise your hand and don't talk back to the teacher or any other adult for that matter ( aren't you supposed to be kind of afraid of adults when you're 5...???) Well some kids get it...some kids always get it- but then there's the one ( waaayyy more than one unfortunately) that do not and when you are 5 years old, I think I have to say the parents are the ones that don't get it.
I mean seriously, what have you been doing with these kids for the last five years!!! Now, I hear you all chiming in- the times they are a changin -MJ...people need to work they can't stay home with their kids like you did ( I worked part time-so no we didn't go to Disney and yes I'm still in debt) these parents are young ( I was 23..first time using no birth control = baby...who knew) some of these kids are raised by their grandparents (bring it ,fellow grandmas, bring it). Enough I say. There is no excuse for your children not being ready for year one of their long trip on the education train. Where are all the braggy kindergarten parents? It used to be "my kids can read at this grade level already"...now it's " my kid is on this many sports teams."
Is it to much to ask that letters and numbers be a part of a toddlers life....are they plopped in front of tv? If so...there are shows that can teach those things if you aren't willing (or able) to.
But how about right from wrong. Sometime if I tell a student "no" they look at me as if it's the first time they've ever heard it...it very well may be. Also, do kids not play game anymore.. not video type games..but like CandyLand ...Go Fish games..and if they do, do they always win- because not every one can win.
Not every one can be Ultimate Supreme ---can we talk about Toddlers & Tiaras for just a second.
Honestly, what is the matter with these people. Not the people that watch the show (me) but the people who think it's a fabulous idea to spray tan their 3 year old, glue false eyelashes on them and force them to do their fat-ass choreography in front of what I am assuming are child beauty pageant survivors who are now the judges. Judges who give points based on the height of their hair and the amount of glitter they have on and if they wink seductively enough and do that creepy dimple thing with their fingers on their cheeks. Oh and the flippers...false teeth!!!! false teeth on kids because sometimes (read this with sarcasm in your voice)their teeth fall out around age 6 or 7 ...unacceptable in fat ass beauty pageant land. Sorry, I must have had one too many pixie sticks and too much mountain dew mixed with energy drink...that is actually a "trick" used on the show to keep the kid's energy up....last time I looked -don't 3-7 year olds have a shit ton of energy.....
Okay...that is the extreme, to borrow their words, the ultimate supreme of bad parenting. but it is becoming more and more evident as years go on....I don't want to sound like the "these kids these days" kind of old lady...but c'mon really it isn't that hard. Read a book or two, count the red cars that go by, and maybe just say no sometimes.
We are all doing the best we can I know, but we can do a little better when there are kids involved, Looking back I know I could have too. I'm know I've made my mistakes. But all these years later I have a teacher, an x ray tech and a budding chef..but most of all I have three really good, solid people, kind, decent, good work ethic etc. which I don't take all the credit for ( because when you do you then have to take the blame when they do dumb-ass stuff too). So do your f***ing job....it still isn't that hard. I am definitely way more tired but ..I'm working 2 sometimes 3 jobs...I obviously have time to watch really embarrassing reality tv ... but when I babysit my 19 month old grandson...he can recognize the number 3 when he sees it...genius?.... just saying
Sunday, September 11, 2011
so live your life...
I wasn't going to blog about today, the 10th anniversary. I feel almost unworthy to talk about how I remember every minute of that day- what I was doing - where I was.... I also don't want to be one of those flag waving, red white and blue phonies who want to publicly thank those who gave their lives, etc....(you phonies know who you are). But the fact of the matter is my life changed that day like everyone else. My seemingly insignificant (by comparison, that is) life changed in very significant ways.
Like ten years ago, it's the first week of school, the weather is a beautiful mixture of the warmth of the sun and the crispness of fall. My dad, who was in the hospital 10 years ago, is ailing, thankfully not hospital worthy, but ailing. Then, I had a kid in college, one in high school and one in middle school. Today my children are still in various stages of life . I am ten years older although I don't feel it nor do I act it, quite the contrary...(another blog)
So what's different? What's different is now I live my life. I'm not sure I did before. But I do now. In the past ten years I have had losses that would have devastated me...and joys that I can't even find the appropriate words to describe. I wonder how I would have handled the good, the bad and the fugly had my life not been changed that day.
I would like to think that I am thankful for every day that I have on this earth...good or bad...(but if any one is listening ....I can use more of the good ones) Unfortunately I don't think too many people feel that way. Oh sure, right after and maybe a year or so after and probably every September 11th (aforementioned phonies) people were all about the random acts of kindness, sharing, caring and USA USA USA.....but I have noticed, because that's what I do....people right back to their old tricks. Entitlement, greed, inconsideration and complacency and ME ME ME. Don't say you haven't noticed it either..
my contract says I get a bonus of a bazillion dollars even though I ran the company into the ground and all these peons lost everything...ME ME ME....or I screwed up your dental claim but I don't care enough about you to straighten it out...you do it yourself and get back to me but by that time some new rule would have been to into place... so sorry or why should I have to pay 5 dollars more for my insurance so someone else can have health care...USA USA ....c'mon everyone...
Now I'm not saying I haven't slipped up myself and cut someone/flipped someone off while driving or slipped into my " financial why me" mode...I'm not a F***ing robot, you know . But on a whole....I think I live my life...even if that life sucks you in with the day in day out horseshit ( I love that word so better than bull shit ...just fyi)
But once in a while something happens to make you stop and think ....what if this is the last day I get...what if there is another horrifying day like that one around the corner. I wish I can take credit for this line...I can't remember who said it or even where I read it. I would like to give that person a nod...but they said and I am paraphrasing....Before that day, an attack was the last thing on my mind, now it's the first... my apologies to the author for the re- wording...but that always stuck with me because it's true. Being Italian we are expect the worst...Hell, we were raised that way and yes, we worry about it before it even (and usually never) happens...but no one expected to see those images that are tattooed on our brains for good.
It could be a national tragedy or a personal one.... you really don't know what scary monster is out there.....so live your life, live it like it's your last time around the dance floor...like it's last call.....like that last, very best kiss.....I guess you can kind of see what I'll be up to on the last day...just saying
Like ten years ago, it's the first week of school, the weather is a beautiful mixture of the warmth of the sun and the crispness of fall. My dad, who was in the hospital 10 years ago, is ailing, thankfully not hospital worthy, but ailing. Then, I had a kid in college, one in high school and one in middle school. Today my children are still in various stages of life . I am ten years older although I don't feel it nor do I act it, quite the contrary...(another blog)
So what's different? What's different is now I live my life. I'm not sure I did before. But I do now. In the past ten years I have had losses that would have devastated me...and joys that I can't even find the appropriate words to describe. I wonder how I would have handled the good, the bad and the fugly had my life not been changed that day.
I would like to think that I am thankful for every day that I have on this earth...good or bad...(but if any one is listening ....I can use more of the good ones) Unfortunately I don't think too many people feel that way. Oh sure, right after and maybe a year or so after and probably every September 11th (aforementioned phonies) people were all about the random acts of kindness, sharing, caring and USA USA USA.....but I have noticed, because that's what I do....people right back to their old tricks. Entitlement, greed, inconsideration and complacency and ME ME ME. Don't say you haven't noticed it either..
my contract says I get a bonus of a bazillion dollars even though I ran the company into the ground and all these peons lost everything...ME ME ME....or I screwed up your dental claim but I don't care enough about you to straighten it out...you do it yourself and get back to me but by that time some new rule would have been to into place... so sorry or why should I have to pay 5 dollars more for my insurance so someone else can have health care...USA USA ....c'mon everyone...
Now I'm not saying I haven't slipped up myself and cut someone/flipped someone off while driving or slipped into my " financial why me" mode...I'm not a F***ing robot, you know . But on a whole....I think I live my life...even if that life sucks you in with the day in day out horseshit ( I love that word so better than bull shit ...just fyi)
But once in a while something happens to make you stop and think ....what if this is the last day I get...what if there is another horrifying day like that one around the corner. I wish I can take credit for this line...I can't remember who said it or even where I read it. I would like to give that person a nod...but they said and I am paraphrasing....Before that day, an attack was the last thing on my mind, now it's the first... my apologies to the author for the re- wording...but that always stuck with me because it's true. Being Italian we are expect the worst...Hell, we were raised that way and yes, we worry about it before it even (and usually never) happens...but no one expected to see those images that are tattooed on our brains for good.
It could be a national tragedy or a personal one.... you really don't know what scary monster is out there.....so live your life, live it like it's your last time around the dance floor...like it's last call.....like that last, very best kiss.....I guess you can kind of see what I'll be up to on the last day...just saying
Sunday, August 28, 2011
vacation...beeeaches!!!
Yes...after a summer of rehearsals/shows/babysitting/computer classes/waitressing or a combination of on most days...I took a vacation!!! My family went up to the beach...Crystal Beach...a place where I spent a good deal of my childhood.
I have wonderful memories of this beach town. I remember spending what seemed like endless days with my sister and my cousins, days of catching what I'm sure were disease ridden toads, swinging on the weeping willow swing, throwing stones at passing cars (my cousin's idea) sneaking popsicles in the morning (again, my cousin) and playing crazy 8's with my beloved little cigar smoking "Papa", who gave me my first nickname "Little One", which was funny because I don't think he was even 5 foot himself.
Every once in a while we would go to the amusement park. Anyone who grew up in this area has the same Crystal Beach Park flashbacks of the following: The Magic Carpet (where you actually got electric shock...fun or what), Yellow Roller Coaster, The Comet ( that I was finally tall enough to go on just before they tore the park down)The Jungle Ride with that disgusting "water" and Laugh in the Dark ( although I think it was spelled Laff... oh Canada) There was the unmistakable laugh of that poorly dressed woman in the front of the ride (sometimes I think I see incarnations of "Laughing Sal" in the oddest places) and of course those Crystal Beach suckers...mmmmm peanut suckers...I think I still have some caught in my back molars.
But I don't remember going to the beach much now that I think about it. I know we did because of lovely/horrifying home movies of my sister and I in matching red bathing suits, but I don't remember. I also don't remember the adults at the time really enjoying themselves. That is a shame ...especially now that I am the so called adult this time around. I mean I cooked and cleaned our cottage like a good adult but I also spent hours at the beach...reading, wading...but mostly just sitting....if that sounds boring to you, re-read my first sentence.
But my favorite part of the vacation was spending priceless time together with my equally busy family. Also the fact that not only am I the "adult"now..I am now the grandma!!!!
These were picture postcard days that I spent with my grandson, my lovey, my little brown eyed boy....little bits of time that I will never forget or ever have to embellish because they. were. perfect. If I'm going to be a grandma...this is the grandma I want to be. We chased seagulls on the beach, we splashed barefoot in puddles in the road after the one welcomed rainy day. We had candy for lunch!!!! I don't remember things like that with my grandma. I'm sure we did stuff...I remember her cooking. She was a great cook! But I guess I really wasn't her favorite ..Legend has it I broke a bowl of hers when I was three or something like that....That must have been some bowl because I heard about it most of my life.
My family was big on favoritism when it came to firstborns which, by no fault of my own, took me out of the game years before I was born. Oh well. So maybe there was candy for lunch at one time...just not for me.
But I do have some fond memories of my grandmother before she passed away at almost 90...she must have forgiven me about the bowl or forgotten (probably the latter...dementia). She was very, very sweet and funny at the end....But I want to be sweet and funny with my grandchildren now. So hopefully as our family grows and my grandchildren (no matter the birth order) spend summers with their "Ga" ( who also never made it to 5 foot)...there will be sweet and funny memories for them and they will think fondly of summers the same way I did and still do. Even if it is only a week...I bet we can squeeze a lot of memories in...like candy for lunch and oh yeah, did I mention he may have tasted pop for the first time....just saying
I have wonderful memories of this beach town. I remember spending what seemed like endless days with my sister and my cousins, days of catching what I'm sure were disease ridden toads, swinging on the weeping willow swing, throwing stones at passing cars (my cousin's idea) sneaking popsicles in the morning (again, my cousin) and playing crazy 8's with my beloved little cigar smoking "Papa", who gave me my first nickname "Little One", which was funny because I don't think he was even 5 foot himself.
Every once in a while we would go to the amusement park. Anyone who grew up in this area has the same Crystal Beach Park flashbacks of the following: The Magic Carpet (where you actually got electric shock...fun or what), Yellow Roller Coaster, The Comet ( that I was finally tall enough to go on just before they tore the park down)The Jungle Ride with that disgusting "water" and Laugh in the Dark ( although I think it was spelled Laff... oh Canada) There was the unmistakable laugh of that poorly dressed woman in the front of the ride (sometimes I think I see incarnations of "Laughing Sal" in the oddest places) and of course those Crystal Beach suckers...mmmmm peanut suckers...I think I still have some caught in my back molars.
But I don't remember going to the beach much now that I think about it. I know we did because of lovely/horrifying home movies of my sister and I in matching red bathing suits, but I don't remember. I also don't remember the adults at the time really enjoying themselves. That is a shame ...especially now that I am the so called adult this time around. I mean I cooked and cleaned our cottage like a good adult but I also spent hours at the beach...reading, wading...but mostly just sitting....if that sounds boring to you, re-read my first sentence.
But my favorite part of the vacation was spending priceless time together with my equally busy family. Also the fact that not only am I the "adult"now..I am now the grandma!!!!
These were picture postcard days that I spent with my grandson, my lovey, my little brown eyed boy....little bits of time that I will never forget or ever have to embellish because they. were. perfect. If I'm going to be a grandma...this is the grandma I want to be. We chased seagulls on the beach, we splashed barefoot in puddles in the road after the one welcomed rainy day. We had candy for lunch!!!! I don't remember things like that with my grandma. I'm sure we did stuff...I remember her cooking. She was a great cook! But I guess I really wasn't her favorite ..Legend has it I broke a bowl of hers when I was three or something like that....That must have been some bowl because I heard about it most of my life.
My family was big on favoritism when it came to firstborns which, by no fault of my own, took me out of the game years before I was born. Oh well. So maybe there was candy for lunch at one time...just not for me.
But I do have some fond memories of my grandmother before she passed away at almost 90...she must have forgiven me about the bowl or forgotten (probably the latter...dementia). She was very, very sweet and funny at the end....But I want to be sweet and funny with my grandchildren now. So hopefully as our family grows and my grandchildren (no matter the birth order) spend summers with their "Ga" ( who also never made it to 5 foot)...there will be sweet and funny memories for them and they will think fondly of summers the same way I did and still do. Even if it is only a week...I bet we can squeeze a lot of memories in...like candy for lunch and oh yeah, did I mention he may have tasted pop for the first time....just saying
Sunday, August 14, 2011
kiss today goodbye...
I find it kind of funny that my first show blog was titled after a song from Chorus Line (remember, God I hope I get it...) and here is my last show blog and I'm using a song from the same show. Believe me, I didn't do it on purpose, I'm not that insightful nor clever, but it is fitting. If you don't know or have never seen Chorus Line...first of all...shame on you. I remember being obsessed with that show in high school and getting the album (ha ha album...at least I didn't say 8 track) for a graduation present. I also remember someone, in a greater economic household (rich kid) than the one I grew up, in getting tickets to see the show on Broadway. What. Ever...I got there eventually, like 8 years later, standing room tickets...but I got there! Anyway the show is about the love of being a dancer/ being in shows and how these people couldn't dream of doing anything else but. What would you do if you couldn't do this anymore...maybe, grow up...nnnnaaaahhh!
The whole process of the summer show kind of brought me back to that feeling. How else would I spend the bulk of my summer. Why wouldn't I spend every night in a hot, stuffy auditorium, dealing with sound issues, actor issues, lighting issues, actor issues, costume issues and constanly putting out little fires (not literally, thank God)? I do it because of the love and because of the events of these last 3 nights...the show nights!!!
Opening night!!!!...my stomach is in knots...not little shoelace knots, big rope knots that you have to be a boy scout or a sailor to untie....The dress rehearsal went kind of "eh"....some tech problems, some lack luster performances but after 6, count 'em, 6 yummy rum drinks and a couple of shots I realized....I've done all I can. (slur the words this time) I've done all I can....
All three shows were just incredible and so well received by our practically sold out crowds (small auditorium = sold out shows) People were coming out of the rafters to say "this was one of the best shows we ever saw" "I go to these things all the time and this was the greatest one I can remember seeing" "that was so creative, who build the sets, who does the dances, where do the costumes come from?" "Where do you find these kids with these unbelievable voices?" "This was so good , it must have been so much work...I give you a lot of credit"
I can only take credit for surrounding myself with great people who know what they're doing and maybe a bit or two on stage that got a laugh. (what can I say...I know funny). The closing night finale ...the song "Home" which gets to me anyway...got me good that night. Seeing all those faces on stage, hearing their beautiful voices with the beautiful orchestra behind them was one of those moments. Thirty-five years ago...yes 35 (what's worse reading it spelled out or seeing the numbers)...I was one of those kids on stage having that moment. Not to be schmaltzy..it truly changed my life. I became one of those people that had to find some way to include the love of the stage in my life. It seems like I'm a carrier too because I've passed it on to my kids ...and our pets evidently. Louie/Toto who would not get off the stage the last night of the show.
I'm very lucky to be able to do what I love to do and to help these kids find their way. I heard some comments over the last few days of how this experience has changed their life and this opportunity has given them so much more confidence in themselves and how they feel like they are now a part of something bigger. Well if that isn't "what I did for love"...I don't know what is.
So there you have it ..."point me toward tomorrow." There will be another show next summer...but for now I guess I will have to think of some new topics to blog about. The fact that I work at a school and also in a restaurant will supply me with some fodder I'm sure. Plus, I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter AND a gr gr grandmother(still hard to believe and to say out loud) ...there's volumes right there. Not to mention that I on a daily basis I shake my fist at the heavens because of some moron who refuses to go after I've waved them on at a 4 way stop sign that they were clearly at before I was but has to, in turn, wave me on even though they were there first...OY!...we got TONS to talk about....just saying.
The whole process of the summer show kind of brought me back to that feeling. How else would I spend the bulk of my summer. Why wouldn't I spend every night in a hot, stuffy auditorium, dealing with sound issues, actor issues, lighting issues, actor issues, costume issues and constanly putting out little fires (not literally, thank God)? I do it because of the love and because of the events of these last 3 nights...the show nights!!!
Opening night!!!!...my stomach is in knots...not little shoelace knots, big rope knots that you have to be a boy scout or a sailor to untie....The dress rehearsal went kind of "eh"....some tech problems, some lack luster performances but after 6, count 'em, 6 yummy rum drinks and a couple of shots I realized....I've done all I can. (slur the words this time) I've done all I can....
All three shows were just incredible and so well received by our practically sold out crowds (small auditorium = sold out shows) People were coming out of the rafters to say "this was one of the best shows we ever saw" "I go to these things all the time and this was the greatest one I can remember seeing" "that was so creative, who build the sets, who does the dances, where do the costumes come from?" "Where do you find these kids with these unbelievable voices?" "This was so good , it must have been so much work...I give you a lot of credit"
I can only take credit for surrounding myself with great people who know what they're doing and maybe a bit or two on stage that got a laugh. (what can I say...I know funny). The closing night finale ...the song "Home" which gets to me anyway...got me good that night. Seeing all those faces on stage, hearing their beautiful voices with the beautiful orchestra behind them was one of those moments. Thirty-five years ago...yes 35 (what's worse reading it spelled out or seeing the numbers)...I was one of those kids on stage having that moment. Not to be schmaltzy..it truly changed my life. I became one of those people that had to find some way to include the love of the stage in my life. It seems like I'm a carrier too because I've passed it on to my kids ...and our pets evidently. Louie/Toto who would not get off the stage the last night of the show.
I'm very lucky to be able to do what I love to do and to help these kids find their way. I heard some comments over the last few days of how this experience has changed their life and this opportunity has given them so much more confidence in themselves and how they feel like they are now a part of something bigger. Well if that isn't "what I did for love"...I don't know what is.
So there you have it ..."point me toward tomorrow." There will be another show next summer...but for now I guess I will have to think of some new topics to blog about. The fact that I work at a school and also in a restaurant will supply me with some fodder I'm sure. Plus, I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter AND a gr gr grandmother(still hard to believe and to say out loud) ...there's volumes right there. Not to mention that I on a daily basis I shake my fist at the heavens because of some moron who refuses to go after I've waved them on at a 4 way stop sign that they were clearly at before I was but has to, in turn, wave me on even though they were there first...OY!...we got TONS to talk about....just saying.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
like no business I know....
It's show time folks....how do you like that. I knew it was coming, I had it on my calendar and on my "to do" list......this week, don't forget to: buy toothpaste, pay car insurance, put on 3 shows.
I think we may be ready....but I digress.
Last Saturday we had our all day / first day with costumes and technical rehearsal. Okay..house lights down, overture ...sounds great..... aaaaaaaand go.
I can't see the actors
Well they are not standing where the lights are
Then put some more lights on
There aren't any more lights
I know there are....I've seen them...what I don't see ARE THE ACTORS!!!!!
So instead of doing the entire show stage right where all the lights are.....let's move some things around, shall we.
DONE
Why is the yellow brick road/forest backdrop in the middle of Emerald City?
There is no place else to put it and you okayed it that it should say on
(God, what else did I say okay to..?)
Well I don't like it ....can we cover it with green ...you know emerald green...like the city
I guess we can get some material and fly it but the bar will show when we drop it down
So the bar will show...the jig is up kids, people know it's not really Oz...it's community theatre.
DONE
When Dorothy and company (the Fab Four as I call them) goes to meet the Wiz....where is the gatekeeper going to be....wasn't he going to be like a jack in the box...keeping with our toy theme?
We can't find a box big enough for him...
Can we use the big chair we have and cover it?
We would have to cover half of it and then have someone take it apart for the next scene
Hey, that window set that was built for the first scene with Uncle Henry and Aunt Em...can we maybe
use that ...its green and with the Emerald City sign....maybe
DONE
So that was Saturday....I went home to shave my head but decided to color all the greys out of my hair ...
So Monday.... t minus 3 days.....
WE HAVE LIGHTS....WE HAVE EMERALD CITY....WE HAVE A GATEKEEPER SET
Thank you Thank you Thank you theater gods....and theater mortals (our set builder in particular)
I definitely have a little less of a stomach ache. And you know what else happened....
WE HAVE A LION!!!!
Our "little lion man" was told day one of rehearsal that he was moved up from chorus boy to lead when our
original lion was unable to commit to the show. Day after day - week after week..it was "try it like this"
or "roar like that" , "you have to give it just a little more" "what can I do to help you...maybe when you get your costume on"...
Well it was clearly my awesome direction and leadership (sarcasm) or most likely it was in him all along
but I think it was just SHOW WEEK.....he's a LION. I kind of want to cry, he is that good!
He is now on the same level as the rest of the Fab Four, who are kind of more seasoned performers (all under the age of 21 that is) I can't be prouder of the four of them and the work they've done and it's not just because they are the "leads". It's something that's in them and I can see it in a few others too.
I hadn't planned on giving THE SPEECH yet, but on Monday I felt I had to. THE SPEECH is about respect...the obvious:
Respect the directorate (you'd think that'd be a given) all the directorate or any adult who has volunteered countless hours for that matter. Here's an example, if the assistant director gives a direction ...do it ...he is just a "taller, lankier " version of me (his words)...so listen to him!...
Respect the crew and orchestra ...we are no where without them ...
Respect the venue..our small, sweaty, semi-equipt home...we are LUCKY to be there..so keep it clean, pick up after yourselves and other if you have to.
But most of all respect the craft. Respect why we are all here. Respect the love we have for this "business". Respect that feeling, you know, the one we don't talk about but I know we all have. It absolutely takes my breath away and I never want that feeling to go away. To watch a show is one thing, but to be a part of this process is amazing. To take it from the angst of auditions to the curtain call (which makes me cry...every time, don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my image) is a roller coaster of indescribable emotions.
Respecting the craft is respecting yourself and your fellow cast members. We are so lucky to have "this" inside of us. Others would rather die than to perform in front of a crowd of people...we would die not to. There's no people like show people....
So I still have a bit of a stomach ache and less grey hair and I know at this point it is kind of out of my hands. I did get my annual back handed compliment though..."I can't believe you pulled this off..it's actually really good..."(um, thanks.) So that being said...I guess we're ready to go.. so, let's go on with the show ...just saying.
I think we may be ready....but I digress.
Last Saturday we had our all day / first day with costumes and technical rehearsal. Okay..house lights down, overture ...sounds great..... aaaaaaaand go.
I can't see the actors
Well they are not standing where the lights are
Then put some more lights on
There aren't any more lights
I know there are....I've seen them...what I don't see ARE THE ACTORS!!!!!
So instead of doing the entire show stage right where all the lights are.....let's move some things around, shall we.
DONE
Why is the yellow brick road/forest backdrop in the middle of Emerald City?
There is no place else to put it and you okayed it that it should say on
(God, what else did I say okay to..?)
Well I don't like it ....can we cover it with green ...you know emerald green...like the city
I guess we can get some material and fly it but the bar will show when we drop it down
So the bar will show...the jig is up kids, people know it's not really Oz...it's community theatre.
DONE
When Dorothy and company (the Fab Four as I call them) goes to meet the Wiz....where is the gatekeeper going to be....wasn't he going to be like a jack in the box...keeping with our toy theme?
We can't find a box big enough for him...
Can we use the big chair we have and cover it?
We would have to cover half of it and then have someone take it apart for the next scene
Hey, that window set that was built for the first scene with Uncle Henry and Aunt Em...can we maybe
use that ...its green and with the Emerald City sign....maybe
DONE
So that was Saturday....I went home to shave my head but decided to color all the greys out of my hair ...
So Monday.... t minus 3 days.....
WE HAVE LIGHTS....WE HAVE EMERALD CITY....WE HAVE A GATEKEEPER SET
Thank you Thank you Thank you theater gods....and theater mortals (our set builder in particular)
I definitely have a little less of a stomach ache. And you know what else happened....
WE HAVE A LION!!!!
Our "little lion man" was told day one of rehearsal that he was moved up from chorus boy to lead when our
original lion was unable to commit to the show. Day after day - week after week..it was "try it like this"
or "roar like that" , "you have to give it just a little more" "what can I do to help you...maybe when you get your costume on"...
Well it was clearly my awesome direction and leadership (sarcasm) or most likely it was in him all along
but I think it was just SHOW WEEK.....he's a LION. I kind of want to cry, he is that good!
He is now on the same level as the rest of the Fab Four, who are kind of more seasoned performers (all under the age of 21 that is) I can't be prouder of the four of them and the work they've done and it's not just because they are the "leads". It's something that's in them and I can see it in a few others too.
I hadn't planned on giving THE SPEECH yet, but on Monday I felt I had to. THE SPEECH is about respect...the obvious:
Respect the directorate (you'd think that'd be a given) all the directorate or any adult who has volunteered countless hours for that matter. Here's an example, if the assistant director gives a direction ...do it ...he is just a "taller, lankier " version of me (his words)...so listen to him!...
Respect the crew and orchestra ...we are no where without them ...
Respect the venue..our small, sweaty, semi-equipt home...we are LUCKY to be there..so keep it clean, pick up after yourselves and other if you have to.
But most of all respect the craft. Respect why we are all here. Respect the love we have for this "business". Respect that feeling, you know, the one we don't talk about but I know we all have. It absolutely takes my breath away and I never want that feeling to go away. To watch a show is one thing, but to be a part of this process is amazing. To take it from the angst of auditions to the curtain call (which makes me cry...every time, don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my image) is a roller coaster of indescribable emotions.
Respecting the craft is respecting yourself and your fellow cast members. We are so lucky to have "this" inside of us. Others would rather die than to perform in front of a crowd of people...we would die not to. There's no people like show people....
So I still have a bit of a stomach ache and less grey hair and I know at this point it is kind of out of my hands. I did get my annual back handed compliment though..."I can't believe you pulled this off..it's actually really good..."(um, thanks.) So that being said...I guess we're ready to go.. so, let's go on with the show ...just saying.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Everything's gonna be alright....right?
DON'T PANIC!!!!...Everything is going to be just fine. ( I shouldn't take it as a bad omen that I misspelled "fine" when I first wrote this, right?) I keep repeating these phrases like a mantra. I said it when only 1/2 of the microphones we have work. I said it again when our awesome orchestra leader came to me and said "I don't think we are all going to fit in the pit". Oh yeah and when our awesome orchestra played and when we couldn't hear the singing even with the working microphones...I may have said it again.
I definitely said it when I made a list of thing we don't have yet. The list of things we need is quite eclectic...a bed for Dorothy, anything resembling the Wiz's balloon for his grand exit, flying monkey outfits, Emerald City costumes and condoms (yes, condoms) oh yeah and that one scene doesn't really work ....we need to re choreograph it.... and this list keeps growing .
But you know, everything will be just fine. We have various wonderfully talented people working on the construction of beds and balloons. People are sewing, dying or ordering (what I would do) costumes. Condoms....it has something to do with the sound and the mics and apparently we need extra large ones..you go girl....I received an email earlier today that the condoms were purchased...buy one get one"half off " too!!! Now its been a while since I, myself, actually bought any ...but half-off condoms don't seem too reliable to me. But what do I know....
I have been busy dancing! I danced, pranced and posed all around my living room for a few hours last night playing all the parts of the Emerald City ensemble ( I really have to get curtains for my living room window ...) and now we have that dance to re-learn 11 days before opening night...11 DAYS!!!
Don't Panic...everything is g....I can't say it anymore...did I mention my hair is falling out...I am definitely stressing..this next week is EVERYTHING! My hope for next week is that all our costumes are done especially the Tin Man's pants...which right now look like they were made for the Tin Boy....tight you ask?...we may have to charge more than $8 a ticket and raise the audience age to 18 and older .
I also hope that our microphones vs the orchestra situation comes out win/win. Everyone has worked too hard to not hear every aspect of the score, instrumentally and vocally! I hope the audience in our little tiny auditorium won't have to have that "I couldn't hear the singers" look on their "God it's hot in here" faces.
I hope our lights...wait..lights? ...up until now our lights have been either on or off...I'm sure there will be more of a lighting design, right?....don't panic!!!
I do though, hope some of my panic is shared by the cast . As of our last rehearsal, our fabulous cast of 15 is really just that.. fabulous! They know their lines, they know their entrances and exits and all their cues. The problem is there are roughly 35 people in the cast. Those 15 to 20 people need to turn it up a few 100 notches. The funny part about this whole deal is I know they will. They will make me so proud and some will even surprise me. Plus, I know the costumes will be great, as will the lights and the sound... well...I'm never confident about the sound. The sound is so important and I am admittedly out of element with the sound equipment (see condoms). We have been in 3 different venues and had 3 different sound boards with 3 different groups of sound people -we still have the sound issues. One thing that is always the constant....this scenario...
Me: I couldn't hear them all at on this song
Sound Person: Oh, they must have forgot to turn their mic on.....
Seriously. Every. Year.
A few years back I was watching the Tony Awards ( a high holiday in my house) and their sound sucked ...(Mr. Broderick is your mic turned on?) . Well if the TONY's can't do it ....am I expecting too much?
See, I don't think so ...I really think everything is going to be alright. I think our little Toto is going to make it all the way across the stage with out urinating or worse. I think our Emerald City is going to be gorgeously green and clothed. I think we are going to have full houses every comfortably cool night....I think the theatre gods will be watching over us the next 2 weeks. I just hope my black curls will be intact right through to the last curtain call and maybe even the cast party...just saying
I definitely said it when I made a list of thing we don't have yet. The list of things we need is quite eclectic...a bed for Dorothy, anything resembling the Wiz's balloon for his grand exit, flying monkey outfits, Emerald City costumes and condoms (yes, condoms) oh yeah and that one scene doesn't really work ....we need to re choreograph it.... and this list keeps growing .
But you know, everything will be just fine. We have various wonderfully talented people working on the construction of beds and balloons. People are sewing, dying or ordering (what I would do) costumes. Condoms....it has something to do with the sound and the mics and apparently we need extra large ones..you go girl....I received an email earlier today that the condoms were purchased...buy one get one"half off " too!!! Now its been a while since I, myself, actually bought any ...but half-off condoms don't seem too reliable to me. But what do I know....
I have been busy dancing! I danced, pranced and posed all around my living room for a few hours last night playing all the parts of the Emerald City ensemble ( I really have to get curtains for my living room window ...) and now we have that dance to re-learn 11 days before opening night...11 DAYS!!!
Don't Panic...everything is g....I can't say it anymore...did I mention my hair is falling out...I am definitely stressing..this next week is EVERYTHING! My hope for next week is that all our costumes are done especially the Tin Man's pants...which right now look like they were made for the Tin Boy....tight you ask?...we may have to charge more than $8 a ticket and raise the audience age to 18 and older .
I also hope that our microphones vs the orchestra situation comes out win/win. Everyone has worked too hard to not hear every aspect of the score, instrumentally and vocally! I hope the audience in our little tiny auditorium won't have to have that "I couldn't hear the singers" look on their "God it's hot in here" faces.
I hope our lights...wait..lights? ...up until now our lights have been either on or off...I'm sure there will be more of a lighting design, right?....don't panic!!!
I do though, hope some of my panic is shared by the cast . As of our last rehearsal, our fabulous cast of 15 is really just that.. fabulous! They know their lines, they know their entrances and exits and all their cues. The problem is there are roughly 35 people in the cast. Those 15 to 20 people need to turn it up a few 100 notches. The funny part about this whole deal is I know they will. They will make me so proud and some will even surprise me. Plus, I know the costumes will be great, as will the lights and the sound... well...I'm never confident about the sound. The sound is so important and I am admittedly out of element with the sound equipment (see condoms). We have been in 3 different venues and had 3 different sound boards with 3 different groups of sound people -we still have the sound issues. One thing that is always the constant....this scenario...
Me: I couldn't hear them all at on this song
Sound Person: Oh, they must have forgot to turn their mic on.....
Seriously. Every. Year.
A few years back I was watching the Tony Awards ( a high holiday in my house) and their sound sucked ...(Mr. Broderick is your mic turned on?) . Well if the TONY's can't do it ....am I expecting too much?
See, I don't think so ...I really think everything is going to be alright. I think our little Toto is going to make it all the way across the stage with out urinating or worse. I think our Emerald City is going to be gorgeously green and clothed. I think we are going to have full houses every comfortably cool night....I think the theatre gods will be watching over us the next 2 weeks. I just hope my black curls will be intact right through to the last curtain call and maybe even the cast party...just saying
Friday, July 22, 2011
Ohhhh....We're half way there
Oh Bon Jovi..."living on a prayer" never meant more to me. Okay so I haven't started the heavy duty praying yet, but every time the phone rings and I see it's from our tech/set director...I say a little prayer to the theatre saint...(I'm assuming Saint Liza?) But that's what happens when you are half way there. Also every summer about half way there, we get a heat wave....and this year it's a HEAT WAVE!!!! It's about 90 degrees out and 9000 degrees on stage...it's "hot as balls" under those lights. But here's what I love...those kids that are up there, sweating like crazy, giving it their all in that little HOT auditorium.
Now mind you, that is not all of them. In fact, there are some that I want to remind that they did actually audition for this show a month or so ago and supposedly want to be in the show....I don't thing anyone is up there against their will with the exception of Louie, my daughter's Pom who is playing the part of Toto. But even Louie will perform for a treat... who wouldn't! But the point is, we have a job to do, a job we all signed up for. I know it's hot and we are at the putting it together part and not everyone is in all the scenes all the time....but when you are up there- act...ACT!!!
I just keep thinking back to my days (I warned you before that I was going to talk about ...."when I was in shows.....") I just loved every minute of the process....we used to watch the scenes we weren't in....we knew the show by heart....I hated the days when they didn't need us...and when I wasn't there....the songs/choreography were running always through my head as I was serving cheeseburger combo platters at Sambo's (an unfortunate name for an unfortunate restaurant). I am happy to say that I think I see glimmers of those kinds of kids....those little surprises that you give a little part to ( flying monkey) and they take it to new heights ( no pun intended).
Here's another thing that happens when you're half way there....the sets and the costumes start to come together....we see what works and what doesn't. The lights and the sound problems are just 'blossoming" (more on that later) also blossoming are the little friendships and the ever popular summer crushes (another of my personal favorites). I love those little connections people make....romantic or otherwise. It was those fabulous summers that I met the people who are still in my life today. People who I have been through life changing events with and that's what happened half way there....but half way there also means that we are a week away from a week aways from the week of the show.....WHAT???
Next week and the week after the temperature may not be as high as it's been but it is certainly going to be hell. The week before the week before the show has been affectionately coined Bitch Week. People start to panic...people snap when asked a question....people are nasty and stressed ...and by people I mean me. I've warned everyone ...they are aware...that's all I am going to say about it right now....because it maybe this year will be different ....maybe it won't be so bad....maybe I'll be optimistic...maybe I'm half way there....just saying
Now mind you, that is not all of them. In fact, there are some that I want to remind that they did actually audition for this show a month or so ago and supposedly want to be in the show....I don't thing anyone is up there against their will with the exception of Louie, my daughter's Pom who is playing the part of Toto. But even Louie will perform for a treat... who wouldn't! But the point is, we have a job to do, a job we all signed up for. I know it's hot and we are at the putting it together part and not everyone is in all the scenes all the time....but when you are up there- act...ACT!!!
I just keep thinking back to my days (I warned you before that I was going to talk about ...."when I was in shows.....") I just loved every minute of the process....we used to watch the scenes we weren't in....we knew the show by heart....I hated the days when they didn't need us...and when I wasn't there....the songs/choreography were running always through my head as I was serving cheeseburger combo platters at Sambo's (an unfortunate name for an unfortunate restaurant). I am happy to say that I think I see glimmers of those kinds of kids....those little surprises that you give a little part to ( flying monkey) and they take it to new heights ( no pun intended).
Here's another thing that happens when you're half way there....the sets and the costumes start to come together....we see what works and what doesn't. The lights and the sound problems are just 'blossoming" (more on that later) also blossoming are the little friendships and the ever popular summer crushes (another of my personal favorites). I love those little connections people make....romantic or otherwise. It was those fabulous summers that I met the people who are still in my life today. People who I have been through life changing events with and that's what happened half way there....but half way there also means that we are a week away from a week aways from the week of the show.....WHAT???
Next week and the week after the temperature may not be as high as it's been but it is certainly going to be hell. The week before the week before the show has been affectionately coined Bitch Week. People start to panic...people snap when asked a question....people are nasty and stressed ...and by people I mean me. I've warned everyone ...they are aware...that's all I am going to say about it right now....because it maybe this year will be different ....maybe it won't be so bad....maybe I'll be optimistic...maybe I'm half way there....just saying
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I heart first week of rehearsal!
Okay, I'll have to remember to go back and read this blog in 3 or 4 weeks when I am pacing the floor at 3 AM wondering how are we going to pull this off....? But until then, I have to say how much I love, love, love rehearsal...week one! There is a buzz.....an excitement that is part enthusiasm part naivety....I love seeing the kids....some old faces and some new...all ready to go...and them seeing me not as a semi scary person in the back of the auditorium during auditions...but as their leader...their director, the one who is going to make sure the show will be awesome, the. best. show. ever ....oh, that must be the naive part....
But honestly, there is something so special about everyone meeting each other and learning their parts and who is who. I so enjoy handing out little solos and lines ( that was always my personal favorite when I was in these shows "Mr Detroit hasn't been in all night" ) For the second time in 4 shows I got to enjoy handing a major part over to the understudy!!! WHAT? The look of pride, excitement, fear and nausea on our new cowardly lion's face was priceless. I have to say the last two expressions (fear and nausea) were on my face also. This is a brand new member of our group He was good, right? ..I think he sang an Elton John song...who is he again?...but as week one went on....I already know he can do it!!!! See, there is something magical about week one!
This year, though, I am not being fooled by the magic of week one, I am trying to be realistic and learn from my mistakes ( or at least try to make different ones). I am learning that even though we have the WHOLE SUMMER AHEAD OF US (5 weeks Monday-Friday from 6 to 9 and some Saturdays) I am not going to "take on" or "okay " any major projects or outside the box ideas that are going to soak up all of our resources (financial, emotional, etc). We will call them Energy Suckers/
ENERGY SUCKER EXAMPLE 1: Two years ago, we did GREASE....I told all the kids NOT to watch the movie because its just an John Travolta;/Olivia Newton John gig...half the songs aren't even in it ...blah blah blah ...we can do better than that. But not listening to my own advice, I thought how cool to have a drive in on the stage "just like in the movie" Doh!
I spent hours ...days looking on you tube for the video clip of the little hot dog jumping through the hoop...and the dancing sodas....LOVE IT. I looked for some horror movie clips to put on there too. I had all my best people on it..I was obsessed... I drove my technical director absolutely crazy...
So we set up a computer, lowered a screen and while Danny Zuko sang "Stranded at the Drive-In" (not Sandy like in the movie, see) he would be singing in front of those adorable little hot dogs jumping through those cute little hoops....Right?
Okay, so it worked 2 out of the 3 shows. I think 2 people came up to me and said that drive in thing was cool (one of them was my dad)...for all that time and energy AND the night it didn't work ...still haunts me....I'm not pointing fingers, even though I know whose fault it actually was...I always take the blame!
So when someone comes up to me with an idea that I know will be an Energy Sucker....I say "great idea" ..."I love it" ( remember I was an actor too) but let's see if we need to spend $300 dollars (that we don't have) on a certain light or a motorized whatever and 300 hours of crew time on a 30 seconds part of the show that maybe my dad will think is cool.
BUT....
I still love the enthusiasm -I still love, love, love week one of rehearsal....I'm just trying to prevent the fires I will be putting out in 3 or 4 weeks when I am pacing the floor at 3 AM.......just saying
But honestly, there is something so special about everyone meeting each other and learning their parts and who is who. I so enjoy handing out little solos and lines ( that was always my personal favorite when I was in these shows "Mr Detroit hasn't been in all night" ) For the second time in 4 shows I got to enjoy handing a major part over to the understudy!!! WHAT? The look of pride, excitement, fear and nausea on our new cowardly lion's face was priceless. I have to say the last two expressions (fear and nausea) were on my face also. This is a brand new member of our group He was good, right? ..I think he sang an Elton John song...who is he again?...but as week one went on....I already know he can do it!!!! See, there is something magical about week one!
This year, though, I am not being fooled by the magic of week one, I am trying to be realistic and learn from my mistakes ( or at least try to make different ones). I am learning that even though we have the WHOLE SUMMER AHEAD OF US (5 weeks Monday-Friday from 6 to 9 and some Saturdays) I am not going to "take on" or "okay " any major projects or outside the box ideas that are going to soak up all of our resources (financial, emotional, etc). We will call them Energy Suckers/
ENERGY SUCKER EXAMPLE 1: Two years ago, we did GREASE....I told all the kids NOT to watch the movie because its just an John Travolta;/Olivia Newton John gig...half the songs aren't even in it ...blah blah blah ...we can do better than that. But not listening to my own advice, I thought how cool to have a drive in on the stage "just like in the movie" Doh!
I spent hours ...days looking on you tube for the video clip of the little hot dog jumping through the hoop...and the dancing sodas....LOVE IT. I looked for some horror movie clips to put on there too. I had all my best people on it..I was obsessed... I drove my technical director absolutely crazy...
So we set up a computer, lowered a screen and while Danny Zuko sang "Stranded at the Drive-In" (not Sandy like in the movie, see) he would be singing in front of those adorable little hot dogs jumping through those cute little hoops....Right?
Okay, so it worked 2 out of the 3 shows. I think 2 people came up to me and said that drive in thing was cool (one of them was my dad)...for all that time and energy AND the night it didn't work ...still haunts me....I'm not pointing fingers, even though I know whose fault it actually was...I always take the blame!
So when someone comes up to me with an idea that I know will be an Energy Sucker....I say "great idea" ..."I love it" ( remember I was an actor too) but let's see if we need to spend $300 dollars (that we don't have) on a certain light or a motorized whatever and 300 hours of crew time on a 30 seconds part of the show that maybe my dad will think is cool.
BUT....
I still love the enthusiasm -I still love, love, love week one of rehearsal....I'm just trying to prevent the fires I will be putting out in 3 or 4 weeks when I am pacing the floor at 3 AM.......just saying
Sunday, June 26, 2011
off off off off off off Broadway
Let me first start by saying I am pretty realistic about my position as director of a community youth theater...oops I mean theatre. I know we have limited resources, but we have a lot of talent and even more enthusiasm. I take my job seriously... quite seriously...I even have the occasional "the show is not ready" nightmare. But I know my job is mainly to facilitate a bunch of wonderful kids who love theatre as much as I do and want to put on a great show. But like I said, I'm realistic. We are as far off Broadway as you can get (we're not even close to the Broadway market) but that's okay...that's the reality. I think we do a great job with what we got...and I am in no way talking about the talent. These kids blow me away sometimes...they are truly awesome. The trick of surrounding yourself with talented people works like a charm.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that in my almost 4 years as director I have encountered the occasional eye roll, more than one phony polite smile/nods from some snobs after the show...let's see, there was the question about my credentials ( I will address that later) and recently, I was FaceBook slammed.
I was blatantly dissed on a FaceBook page. I was accused of butchering a show ..it was suggested "they' get rid of me...(who ever "they" are)..and even attacked my choreographer ( who happens to be my wildly talented daughter who has been doing this waaaaay longer than I have). Not since Julie Taymor and the whole Spider Man musical mess, has a director been so abused!!! (yes..I am making that comparison... I'm being realistic, remember) But like the multi-million dollar Broadway debacle...the "bad press" has caused a windfall of interest and tons and tons of support from theatre lovers near and far. So there...if I can verbally stick my tongue out at my critic ...I would!!!!!
Now I am empowered to put on a the BEST SHOW EVER (which is my intention every year anyway). When I was the"director" of my kids talent show in elementary school, I was up at all hours trying to figure out the right line up of acts to make the show more entertaining. And we are talking about acts like a boy standing on the stage telling us everything he knows about snakes....I kid you not, that was an act.
So you see...I do take my job as director very seriously! So what if it's an off off off off off off Broadway musical...I think we do a great job...hey I've seen shitty shows at Shea's (alliteration... bonus!!!). I do appreciate all the support form people who enjoy the process as well as the product. It's all about the journey ...this one just happens to be down a yellow brick road... And as for my credentials.... I have sat through a lot of BAD shows ( but would never dream of criticizing them publicly).....AND I have Shea's season tickets...so suck on that haters..... just saying...
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that in my almost 4 years as director I have encountered the occasional eye roll, more than one phony polite smile/nods from some snobs after the show...let's see, there was the question about my credentials ( I will address that later) and recently, I was FaceBook slammed.
I was blatantly dissed on a FaceBook page. I was accused of butchering a show ..it was suggested "they' get rid of me...(who ever "they" are)..and even attacked my choreographer ( who happens to be my wildly talented daughter who has been doing this waaaaay longer than I have). Not since Julie Taymor and the whole Spider Man musical mess, has a director been so abused!!! (yes..I am making that comparison... I'm being realistic, remember) But like the multi-million dollar Broadway debacle...the "bad press" has caused a windfall of interest and tons and tons of support from theatre lovers near and far. So there...if I can verbally stick my tongue out at my critic ...I would!!!!!
Now I am empowered to put on a the BEST SHOW EVER (which is my intention every year anyway). When I was the"director" of my kids talent show in elementary school, I was up at all hours trying to figure out the right line up of acts to make the show more entertaining. And we are talking about acts like a boy standing on the stage telling us everything he knows about snakes....I kid you not, that was an act.
So you see...I do take my job as director very seriously! So what if it's an off off off off off off Broadway musical...I think we do a great job...hey I've seen shitty shows at Shea's (alliteration... bonus!!!). I do appreciate all the support form people who enjoy the process as well as the product. It's all about the journey ...this one just happens to be down a yellow brick road... And as for my credentials.... I have sat through a lot of BAD shows ( but would never dream of criticizing them publicly).....AND I have Shea's season tickets...so suck on that haters..... just saying...
Friday, June 17, 2011
God I hope I get it...I hope I get it...
Well, that was grueling... Auditions...2 nights of them...
The first night was kind of light but some really good prospects. We played the game of "if this is all we get...can we cast the show with these people?" Prooooobably...but we have no witch (good or bad)
Then, the next night we got slammed with talent!!! This is the first time (in my unimpressive 4 years of directing) I had to make some tough choices!!! We had call backs and entertained the idea of let's let all the Dorothys just fight it out with weapons of choice...
It was really hard to not judge by appearances. I mean in my day (I will try not to bore you with the "when I was in shows" comments..but sometimes I will...) I was to short to play anything but a kid and to mature (big boobs) to play anything but an adult. There weren't a lot of musicals based on a child with an growth/ thyroid issues (but I think I have an idea for an opening song...) Just then someone walks in looking like a Dorothy and hits it out of the park vocally AND can act...Thank you theatre gods....By the way, since I am pretentious enough to have a blog, my youngest daughter suggested I use this spelling of THEATRE .
Then came the boys....again ...appearance!!! Just then, a Dick Van Dyke clone comes lanking in and hits it out of the...well, you get the picture.
Eventually everything did finally fall in to place...It was harder than other years but I think we made some great casting decisions. And coming form a perpetual chorus girl...we will find a little something extra for everyone to do ..a line here and a solo there goes a long way with the right attitude. One little girl at auditions nervously asked if she made it..."I mean, does everyone make at least the chorus??" SHHHHH....don't let that out but ..uh huh. The look of relief on her face was priceless. She just wanted to be a part of something.
I shook her hand and thanked her for her outlook, because now the cast list is posted ... let the dropping out begin. Everyone thinks they're Patti LuPone or Matthew Broderick....and that's well and good but sometimes you're just a short little girl with big boobs wanting to be a part of something...I'm just saying...
The first night was kind of light but some really good prospects. We played the game of "if this is all we get...can we cast the show with these people?" Prooooobably...but we have no witch (good or bad)
Then, the next night we got slammed with talent!!! This is the first time (in my unimpressive 4 years of directing) I had to make some tough choices!!! We had call backs and entertained the idea of let's let all the Dorothys just fight it out with weapons of choice...
It was really hard to not judge by appearances. I mean in my day (I will try not to bore you with the "when I was in shows" comments..but sometimes I will...) I was to short to play anything but a kid and to mature (big boobs) to play anything but an adult. There weren't a lot of musicals based on a child with an growth/ thyroid issues (but I think I have an idea for an opening song...) Just then someone walks in looking like a Dorothy and hits it out of the park vocally AND can act...Thank you theatre gods....By the way, since I am pretentious enough to have a blog, my youngest daughter suggested I use this spelling of THEATRE .
Then came the boys....again ...appearance!!! Just then, a Dick Van Dyke clone comes lanking in and hits it out of the...well, you get the picture.
Eventually everything did finally fall in to place...It was harder than other years but I think we made some great casting decisions. And coming form a perpetual chorus girl...we will find a little something extra for everyone to do ..a line here and a solo there goes a long way with the right attitude. One little girl at auditions nervously asked if she made it..."I mean, does everyone make at least the chorus??" SHHHHH....don't let that out but ..uh huh. The look of relief on her face was priceless. She just wanted to be a part of something.
I shook her hand and thanked her for her outlook, because now the cast list is posted ... let the dropping out begin. Everyone thinks they're Patti LuPone or Matthew Broderick....and that's well and good but sometimes you're just a short little girl with big boobs wanting to be a part of something...I'm just saying...
Saturday, June 11, 2011
just saying...I'm just directing a musical...
This is my first time blogging...so I thought it may be kind of fun to follow my adventures down the yellow brick road.
This summer I will be directing a youth community theater production of The Wiz. To give you a little background info...this particular little group of traveling misfits (and I say that with the utmost love and respect) have been together for about 4 years.... We've been through the Gospel, The 50's and good old reliable crap games together!
Our little group has its work cut out for us (a phrase I never knew was negative...just saying) this year. First of all....all our options for a venue (mostly school auditoriums) were nixed for one reason or another. But after months of wheeling, dealing, calling in favors and some praying, we finally have a stage to perform on....we have a home...HOME ...a song from The Wiz, ironically enough. When I think of home...I think of a place with love overflowing....I love that phrase...I love that song !
So...we have had some very productive meetings with some very clever ideas from my very enthusiastic, very young directorate...and away we go ~
On to auditions....God help us ....stay tuned theater fans... I'm just saying ...
This summer I will be directing a youth community theater production of The Wiz. To give you a little background info...this particular little group of traveling misfits (and I say that with the utmost love and respect) have been together for about 4 years.... We've been through the Gospel, The 50's and good old reliable crap games together!
Our little group has its work cut out for us (a phrase I never knew was negative...just saying) this year. First of all....all our options for a venue (mostly school auditoriums) were nixed for one reason or another. But after months of wheeling, dealing, calling in favors and some praying, we finally have a stage to perform on....we have a home...HOME ...a song from The Wiz, ironically enough. When I think of home...I think of a place with love overflowing....I love that phrase...I love that song !
So...we have had some very productive meetings with some very clever ideas from my very enthusiastic, very young directorate...and away we go ~
On to auditions....God help us ....stay tuned theater fans... I'm just saying ...
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